Can u explain her behavior?

Question

I got a call from a friend. She said she had a question but wanted to put no pressure on me to say yes. She kept emphasizing that there was no pressure. Then she asked me if I could make a picture slide-show with her wedding pictures and put them on a DVD b/c she couldn't get it with her package deal from the professionals.

I teach and have a lot on my plate this year: I got a new grade level, am becoming an advisor for the first time and have to start taking classes. It's so time consuming to make the slide-shows, so I told her I could work on it next summer. She didn't like the fact that she'd have to wait that long. She became very curt and annoyed and didn't want to hear my reasons and said she'd find someone else. So basically she was mad at me.

Why tell me I don't have to say yes and there's no pressure if she's going to be mad about it anyway?

Answer 1

Because she was insincere, or was trying to manipulate you, or did not expect your response.

Answer 2

Well to me it sounds like she is useing you, but trying to be discreet, so yiu don't sccuse of her anything and make her embarrassed.

It was courteous of you to offer to work on it next sum mer she was being rude.

Answer 3

Some people are just that way. The stress of the wedding and not getting her way may have been too much for her to handle. Too bad you were on the receiving end of her anger. Hopefully she'll realize how she behaved and offer an apology. If not, then she may be one of those friends you can do without.

Answer 4

She thought you would say yes, but had a feeling in the back of her mind that you may say no, so she was trying to prepare herself by saying "no pressure."  It seems that she did not prepare well enough.  She is now mad, but don't give into immature behavior.  Maybe if she comes around, you can surprise her and do it in your spare time one day.  Although this is not the goal, she will feel very silly and will have learned a lesson.

Answer 5

Sounds like she grew two long ears and a tail and braed a little bit huh?  Give her some time she will get over it.  I have done those before and to make them good you need quiet and time and thought.  Tell her you could not give her a quality item as you wished with your time frame and you really are sorry because you know she had the confidence in you and being her friend you really would have liked to do it.

That ought to soothe her.

Answer 6

Sounds like you have  a Bridezilla on your hands. If she truly values your friendship, and really wants you to do the slideshow, then she'd wait til next summer to get it. Why rush it anyway, if there's a year to get it done, might as well get it done right, right? Don't sweat it, let her find someone else if she wants. No matter what she says, you still have to put you first.

Answer 7

In situations like this, nobody has the power to make you do something you can't do--unless you allow them to.  A simple, "Sorry, I can't" is good enough.  You don't have to justify why you can't do it.  It sounds like your friend doesn't know how to respect your time and is manipulating you and is being immature.  Why can't she do it her self?  Putting pictures onto a DVD should be easy not take alot of time.  If you learn how to be assertive and say no, you'll have less stress in your life.  You can't allow other people to walk all over you.  Your friend needs to give you a break and be more understanding.  I used to have a similar situation with my job where alot of people asked me to cover their shift.  I always said yes and there were times where I ended up working so much to the point of being burned out.  Plus my friends and family started getting mad at me cause I would cancel plans with them to fill in for someone at work who called me at the very last minute--which was very inconsiderate of them.  It was a wake up call when my "doormat syndrome" started to affect my relationship with family and my friend.  So that's when I started saying "Sorry, I can't" Like just the other day, someone at work called in sick and wanted me to cover them on a date I already asked off for.  I said no and it actually felt good, and they were cool with it and found someone else.  So, if your friend is getting mad at you, then she just doesn't know how to show empathy and put herself in other ppl's shoes.

Answer 8

Sounds like an abuser to me. Forget about it: It's her issue, not yours. She doesn't know how to take no for an answer. You were her last resort, and it didn't work out, so she took it out on you. Don't sweat it.

Answer 9

Oh, come on! You know the answer to this but just wanted to vent! I am not even gonna respond to it because it's so obvious.

Consider this a great out. She is unreasonable. Why is her friendship a loss?

Answer 10

To try to get you to agree to do it.

As for her getting mad--just a character flaw. Maybe she expects anyone else who does it to expect some form of payment, and wanted it free from you? I wouldn't worry about it too much. She said she'll find someone else, so let her find someone else. If she's really mad, she'll get over it. If she doesn't get over it, don't worry about being her friend anymore. Simple.