Can we be pro-reform without being called anti-adoption?

Question

many pro-reform people here are being called "anti-adoption" and many who have adopted are being called "anti-reform"

Can we be pro-reform without beingcalled "anti-adoption"?

Can we be adoptive parents without being called "anti-reform"?

I'm pretty sure almost ALL of US will be in this catagory.

What do you think?

Answer 1

THANK YOU for acknowledging that these crazy extreme stereotypes are just that....crazy.  Just because an adoptive parent says something positive about adoption does NOT make them anti-reform.  Just because someone says something negative about adoption does NOT make them anti-adoption!!!  I wish people would STOP with all the lumping people together and thinking that 1 comment defines someone's entire belief system.  It's very frustrating.  

Yes, you can be pro-reform and still have had a great experience as an adoptee.  Just because you want reform doesn't mean you are bitter or angry.  

Yes, you can have a happy adoptee experience and STILL realize reform needs to take place.  Just because you're happy doesn't mean you're some delusional person who doesn't see any of the negatives of adoption.

Answer 2

In the real world yes. Here no, apparently.

Answer 3

Thanks for asking.  

I don't know, I've even seen adoptive parents who speak up against the system labelled 'anti-adoption'  It boggles the mind

I made a few suggestions about adoption reforms in answer to a question a few days back and someone went through every point I'd made, picked it to pieces and totally dismissed it, so I think there are some folks who think adoption does not need reform (although personally I think those people need a guide dog LOL!)

Answer 4

Definitely.  I see it here in Sacramento.  We have a PACER group here that is made of adopted people, first parents and adoptive parents.  Everyone is pro-reform and they really work well together.  

There are anti-reform folks of all varieties, but the majority of PAP's, adoptees and f-parents that I  meet are all in favor of reform.

Anyone who is pro-reform is, by default, NOT anti-adoption.  If a person is anti-adoption, then he or she doesn't work for reform, he or she works for abolishment.  Reform minded people are trying to improve adoption.

Phil makes a rather good point.  If people want to blame an adoptee's desire for reform on a "bad adoption experience" then that is quite the insult to my parents who adopted me.

Answer 5

Yes, absolutely.  We need to bring as many to the pro-reform table as we can.  Maybe we should focus less on our differences and more on what views we have in common.

Answer 6

Oh yes...  I don't think APs are anti-reform...  I think there are a FEW vocal people here (who may not even be APs) who are anti-adoptee...  As I tried to indicate to BPD Wife earlier, I have never thought APs were the enemy or anti-reform or any such thing...  Not as a rule...

I think there are a FEW people who want to dismiss adoptees as "bitter and angry" because of "bad experiences" rather than actually listening to what some of us have to say.  But, florida-gal, I certainly don't think all (or even most?) APs fit into that category...  Anymore than I think all adoptees are (or should be) anti-adoption...

Indeed, I wanted to add, I do think that some of the people who are most (inadvertently?) anti-AP are those people who want to claim adoptees who speak out about adoption have just had bad experiences.  I don't know who they could be blaming except my adoptive parents.  And I take real exception to that.  I don't blame my adoptive parents for my attitudes about adoption.  And I don't think anyone else should, either.