Can we do step parent adopting on our own, no lawyers if the bio dad has been out of the picture for 7 years?

Question

I wanted to find a legitimate, inexpensive way to file for my husband to adopt my son who is now 8. I divorced his "bio" father when he was 9 months old. The ex-husband then left the state never to be heard from again. I never persued child-support because I never wanted him back in our lives. He's never tried to contact me as well. My husband now has been in our lives since my son was 1 1/2 old. All he knows is my husband and has never had a relationship with his bio father. We are tight on cash, but want to do the adoption process. Is there a way to get legal forms and do it ourselves? Who else has done it on there own? Our only problem is contacting the bio father. We do not know where he is to have his rights removed. I would think, under the circumstances, he ABANDONED his rights a long time ago.

Answer 1

A friend of mine went through this. In CT you have to first run an add in the newspaper proclaiming your wishes to adopt. You're supposed to state something to the effect of "looking to contact father of "mike" to approve of the adoption.

I would definately get a lawyer to guide you through if not do it for you.

Answer 2

You need to get a lawyer.  The judge will take under consideration that your ex has made no attempt to see his own child or provided support, and basically abandoned your son.  Your husband is your son's father, and it's time to make it official. Judges love adoptions, because it's a joyous occasion. Good luck to your family.

PS you will want to keep an "old" birth certificate tucked away, because it will never be available again after the adoption.

Answer 3

you will need a lawyer if only to help you file the paper work and make sure it is legal 100%

Answer 4

No adoption that I no of can be done without attorneys.  And, as Anastasia said, grab everything you can get while it's legally yours to grab.  It may seem like a small thing now, but it might mean a LOT one day.  We take our birth certificates for granted.  Adoptees don't.

Answer 5

Yes you can.  You can go down to the court house and ask them for the paperwork. They can even help you with all the steps you need to take.  Just because the father has not been in the picture for 7 years, does not mean he does not have parental rights.  You will either have to get him to sign away his parental rights, or if you can't find him, you will have to run ads in the local newspaper etc.  There are a few things to do, but this is the cheapest way.  You will have to pay for the newspaper ads, and the filing of the paperwork with the courts.

Answer 6

Your sons father has to have his rights terminated, some effort to find him has to taken. You need to get an attorney.

Answer 7

if you decide to have him adopted, please get a copy of his original birth certificate.  once the adoption goes through, you or your son will no longer be legally entitled to it, depending on the state you live in.

Answer 8

Adoption is not a do-it-yourself project. You need a lawyer.  Your ex still has legal rights and it requires a judge to eliminate them.     You likely can have that occur due to abandonment, but I don't know the requirements of proving abandonment in your state.  

My state requires a reasonable effort to locate the father (for instance, contacting relatives, if known, to find out if they have heard from him) because they KNOW there are a lot of women who lie claiming they have no idea where the father is, when, in fact, they've never told the guy.  That judge doesn't know if you are honest or not.