Can you Blame me? ...?

Question

My boyfriend/fiance what ever he is i really don't know anymore, anyways he is sending me money to come visit him he said he had a surprise for me and he made a promise to tell me when he bought it for me. well he decided to be cute and say he can't tell me now because he is in the navy and its top secret. so i made him at least tell me the price...the price was SO expensive i told him i couldn't accept a gift that expensive. i love him to death i really do but something that expensive isn't worth giving to me on my stupid birthday its just another day. Anyways he got mad REALLY mad at me and said not even to come up and visit him and if i really loved him i'd still be waiting for him in 4 years after his active duty in the navy...

Was I really wrong for this?

I hate taking things from other people that are extremely expensive. It was even hard enough for me to take the money from him to go see him.

Am I wrong to feel this way. and if not how can i get him to realize i just can't take something that expensive?

Answer 1

First of all, how do you not know if he's your fiance or boyfriend. If you are engaged, and your wearing a ring, he's your fiance. If your just in a relationship with him, he's your boyfriend. That actually changes things quite a bit, because if he's your boyfriend, then it might be considered over-the-top for him to get something very expensive. But if he's your fiance, then something expensive is more appropriate and you probably should have just accepted it.

Hope that helps...

Answer 2

i understand your principles, but think.  how would you feel if you gave someone a gift and they said they didnt want it.  im not accusing you of being mean about it or anything, but thats probably what it felt like.  i wouldnt lose sleep about it, but next time you talk to him, dont bring it up; he might have had a bad day that day, i mean the navy is no picnic, and just took it harder than he normally would have.

Answer 3

No!  I don't think you were wrong at all!  I feel the same way about accepting gifts and such from people.  It was silly of him to get so upset.  I guess he expects you to be so pleased that he would care so much, and he thought you were displeased when you said you couldn't accept it.  Hopefully he will get over it.  Maybe you could apologize, even though it seems to me you have nothing to apologize for.