Can you REALLY love women and hate feminists?

Question

Since feminists work for women's rights, doesn't hating them mean that you are against women's rights? How can you say that you love women, while being against people who work to give them rights? Aren't you really saying that you love women "as long as they stay in their place" or in the role that you imagine that is right for them and may even believe is the only route to true happiness for them?

The question stems from the answer from someone to this question. What are the first steps forward for someone who has been a misogynist?

The inspiring answer was:

"What? Most men love women, but hate feminists. You know, the women that really want to be men. Most men have nothing to mend. They can dislike anyone they want. And love anyone they want too.

But to fix the ones that are just stupid jerks? That think they are better than women. Think they something special? Only a lobotomy will suffice. And for one would be happy to administer it."

Your comments, please.

Answer 1

I think that feminists have a bulldyke, men-hating stereotype attached to them. People who go out into the streets shouting about their ability to do anything you can do (and better) is going to p**s off everyone they see, regardless of gender.

Also, women get paid less than men because whenever you hire a woman, you run the risk of her getting pregnant and needing someone to cover her shift for two months while she's on maternity leave. (It's a pain in the ***) and you don't have that problem with men. Also, if she has kids, you have random days where she'll have to leave on short notice because her kid got sick, or she can't work late because they'll be home alone, etc.

I'm not saying men don't have these same problems. But women have them more.

Answer 2

I call myself a feminist because women are full and equal human beings with full human rights and freedoms and I want this to be recognised and respected everywhere.

It's as simple as that and I figure that a man who is against that does not really like women, certainly not as people. His saying "I love women" is just not true. And men like that are really not worth much of a thinking woman's time.

Answer 3

Men feel a profound sense of betrayal from American Women. Men who fought alongside Women to expand their rights were betrayed. Public Policy, The Bradley Bill, VAWA, IMBRA, a host of punitive treatments of Men. Now Men who are behind on Child Support are subject to lengthy Prison Sentences. The Innocence Project has freed Men on Death row and over 250+ Men falsely convicted for Rapes they did not commit.

False rape accusations are still lightly treated. This is not a battle of ideas or perceptions. It is about how the Courts, Government, employment, life expectancy, justice, and our status in Society. Feminists who deny this are spinning the truth.

We have allowed a minority of Women, to pervert the law, To hijack our Courts, Churches, Media and Education. For Men it is about our live expectancy, Civil Rights, standing in the Family. And if you cannot see that reality you are mentally impaired or a liar.

Answer 4

Yes.  But there will always be some men who do hate Feminism and say that they love women, but have an ulterior motive.  If a person pays enough attention, you will see the misogyny begin to seep out in their answers eventually.  I wonder sometimes about the men's rights activists who claim that they hate Feminism, yet keep on pointing out how evil women are.  We all know that no-one is better, men or women.  We all have our good and bad sides, but it appears to me to be just as bad as radical Feminists who keep pointing out how evil men can be.

There are also men who dislike Feminism and who are genuine, they do honestly like women.  They just disagree with the way Feminism has tipped the balance so much in women's favour to the detriment of men and they cannot really be blamed for feeling this way.  They have the right to question how society is working and tipping in women's favour.

No movement is 100% perfect and everyone has a right to ask questions about it.  If a movement was genuine and without anything to hide, then there'd be no problem.

Answer 5

Yeah I think you can, there's always room for hate :-D

Answer 6

These thoughts are wrought with simplistic generalizations.  Yes, most generally speaking, feminism is about rights of women, but not everyone understands what that really means.  

Some feminists think that women need to have a more explicitly central and valued role in society.  Okay, well, how is that done?  Some say equal opportunity, which makes a lot of sense to me, while others say that we need to obfuscate the distinction between genders, which makes no sense to me.  Those are huge differences.  There are a lot of inherently contradictory ideas floating around within the world of feminism, and there are a lot of public misconceptions as to what feminism even IS.

Ultimately, yes, a person can love women (thanks to biological drives) and hate feminists (thanks to ignorance and misunderstanding as to what feminism ought to be aiming to achieve).

Answer 7

Despite all their protestations to the contrary, no, they really can't.

They say, "Feminists want to control men!"  We respond, "No, actually, we don't."

They say, "Feminists want special privileges for women!"  We say, "Um, no.  We don't want that."

They say, "Feminists think women are better than men!"  We reply, "Actually, we think men and women are equal."

We've negated all of their objections, but they keep trotting out the same tired old arguments.  That just reinforces the impression that they're terrified of women who demand to be treated like human beings.

Answer 8

Misandrists (or 'feminists' as they call themselves) don't work for women's rights. Women had equal rights decades ago, because men gave them equal rights.

The present work of misandrists is specifically against the rights of men. (While constantly mooing that they are somehow fighting for 'women's rights').

Hating misandrists is merely returning the favor. Biologically they may be women. Psychologically they are something else entirely.

Answer 9

A lot of radical feminists don't work for women's rights, they work for dominance over men. That doesn't mean that there are not genuine women out there working for equality.

Answer 10

It would be lovely if the LIE that feminism is ONLY for women to have equal rights were true, because then, you would have a point.

But, since feminists consistantly work against men having equal rights, since feminists tell lie after lie after lie about these issues, and since feminists never stop demanding more, and more, and MORE for themselves, while denying that anyone else has a claim of equal social resources, then your entire premise is utter sexist balderdash.

Women are almost half of all domestic abusers. Women commit most of the abuse against small children. When women murder husbands, they, on average, get 6 year terms, while men get more than 10 more years for the same crime; feminists seem quite fine with that sexism.

Far more $ is spent on breast cancer than prostate cancer, while the numbers of those who get, and die from, each, is about the same. Whens the last time you saw an ad for a prostate cancer fundraising event, to match all the TV ads for breast cancer ? And, so on.

To Lyanthya, well, your claims are simply false. When feminists tell us that "no means no", how come they defend all the various female teachers who rape their *underage* boy students ? Yes, feminists do demand special women-only priviliges: Women now have two NON medical and NON biological legal means to permanently void all of their parental obligations, post natally. Yet, only misandrous sexism denies similar NON medical and NON biological legal means to men who also don't wish to be *made a parent against their choice*. (Don't even try the old w***e of a line of "if you didn't gnat to be a dad, you should have kept it in your pants", because thats PRECISELY the SAME argument against ALL female-only post-coital choices). Feminists demended an Office of Women's Health, yet oppose one for men. Feminists demanded Affirmative Action about getting more women to college, yet, now that women are 60% of all college students, they refuse to let go of their special sexist perks.

Feminism IS sexism. Period. By Feminists' own words *and* actions.

Answer 11

Feminism is an ideology, hating an abstract ideological standpoint is not the same thing as being a misogynist and being prejudiced against after the human race on ground of gender.

Political disagreement and chauvinism are not the same thing. Of course if it can be painted as such it can be used to the advantage of those who support the feminist ideology. Clever politicized wording can make it seem like the two things are the same but logically they cannot be.

Answer 12

Lots of feminists bash men

Answer 13

Actually, I think what those who 'hate' feminists really love is their own idea of what a woman, or women, should be.

If you 'love' people you do so "warts and all", not up to whatever point it is that you are trying to make.

Disagreeing with someone's philosophy is quite different to 'hating' ~ one is a constructive and logical position, the other is more likely to be a personal response to some real life situation, probably with an individual, extrapolated onto a 'group'.

This type of response makes it easier to blame others for personal failings, and also to avoid confrotning the real issues in one's life.

You see it here all the time ~ people who have been rejected or hurt by the wives, mothers, etc, blaming 'feminists' for the sad minor tragedies their lives have become.

It's the same with women who claim 'feminism' prevented them being fulfilled as mothers, or that their lives are ruined because 'feminists' sneer at them.

The fact is, that successful, confident people, don't 'blame' others ~ they get over whatever the problem is and move forward, and that includes accepting that others are not going to always fit the preconceived notions we have of what they *should* be, and also that other will not always necessarily endorse our own ideas or behaviours.

So no, trying to change people, or decide for them what is real or important in their lives is NOT 'love', it's a desire to control another person.

Cheers :-)

Answer 14

Feminism scares people, change scares people.  My understanding is that feminism offers men just as much as it offers women.

Answer 15

When the question is written with such extreme famale chauvinism that I highly doubt that you will allow a man to answer your question, but alas I will try.  The love of women and hatred of feminists while not an oxymoron can be perplexing to someone who does not know someone who loves women but hates feminists.  I think that while I support womens rights, I beleive the white male has been lost in the fold of affirmative action.  Let a man report sexual harrasment, rape, or sexual inequality coming from a woman and see what happens.  Have we gotten to the point in society where one class must be greater then another at all times?

I watch television, commercials, and movies all the time and see how men are personified and I think that if the gender rolls where reversed, feminists would be up in arms.  If you truely stand for equality why are you not standing up for men when they are treated poorly by someone else?  Wouldn't you be just as inclined to support the battered husband then you are to support the battered woman?  In the end you support your gender and your gender only.  That makes you chauvinist.  

Food for thought, what is the antonym for feminist?