Can you be too loyal?

Question

I have this ex whom I've known now for about 9 years (we met when I was only 15) now who I feel I'm overly loyal to. We were eachother's first loves and only broke up cause her parents forced her to (I am two years younger then her and apparently that is 'horrible' or something). Anyway, after the break-up we didn't speak for about a year, and I moved to a different city. But when we reconnected it was as if we had never spent one day apart. She came to visit me and it was really special. Anyway.. flash forward about 7 years.. we see each other on occasion when we are in each others town and sometimes don't speak for months at a time. I had always placed her above every other girl in the world because she was my first love and somehow I guess I always thought we would be together again. But, I am 23 now and I'm ready for a serious relationship.. I am considering that maybe I was just holding on to 'the idea' of her rather then her. What do you gus think? (we've both obviously been in different relationships durring our friendship)

Answer 1

It is very possible that you are holding onto the idea of her rather than her in itself. A lot of times when we brake up we grieve over what we could have had rather than the person in itself. I hope that makes sense. I think its time for you to say good bye to your old friend. Otherwise you'll end up 30, unmarried and waiting for "her" when she really was never there in the first place.  

Answer 2

I think that you just need to ask her how she feels about you, and ask her what do you think life would have been like if you had never been forced to break up.

But make sure you do it while your kind of intimate with her.

Answer 3

Go on with your new relationship and just keep her as a good memory of your past move on or you will not be able to have a good and new relationship..

Answer 4

yes, i think you are being too loyal.