Can you chose who adopts your baby?

Question

Can you chose who adopts your baby?

Answer 1

Yes, you can.  You can also have regular contact with your child after the adoption.

My advice is not to make a firm commitment to give your baby away until after your baby is born, so you are sure that is want you want to do.

Do NOT "match" with anyone over the internet or through newspapers.  You should only consider people who have been thoroughly screened and have a complete home study.  Demand that you get all of the details that you need to assure that these are people that you feel comfortable with.

Also, only work with an agency that provides counseling before and after giving your baby away.  The counseling should also provide you with information about the possibility of parenting.

Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 2

Yes you can.  It's called private adoption and can be handled by a lawyer.  Typically the adopting family will take care of all the fees.  That's how we adopted our daughter.

Answer 3

Be very very careful.

Open adoptions are not legally binding.

Prospective adoptive parents can promise you the world - but can end up closing up the adoption down the track - any time they like.

Be very careful of adoption agencies - as they make big bucks from getting your baby - so will tell you whatever it is you want to hear.

Adoption is a long term solution to an often short term problem.

Please educate yourself fully on the effects (of separating mother and child) on yourself and on your child.

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/

http://origins-usa.org/

Answer 4

My husband I adopted 2 children- and their birth moms selected us to be the adoptive parents- also you can choose if you want continued communication with the family and your child. Actually the birth mom of our son, who is now 19 has sent cards and letters over the years- and our son just met her last August for the first time, and is actually visiting her right now.  I was adopted almost 50 years ago myself, and most were closed adoptions then, but as a birth mom you have a lot of control, or should I say, most of the control who you place your baby with.

EDIT- could I ask something- why would I get thumbs down for answering a question truthfully?

Answer 5

Yes...it's called open adoption.

Answer 6

yes

Answer 7

The most important thing for you to do is contact a reputable lawyer who deals in open adoptions regularly.  Your local Catholic Charities organization should be able to point you in the right direction, even if you aren't Catholic.

If it makes you feel better, my aunt and uncle adopted a baby through a lawyer and open adoption process.  They filled out questionnaires and had pictures of themselves and their house and dog.  These were placed in a book in the lawyer's office that the birth mother looked through to select the parents she was comfortable with. Her baby had medical complications and my aunt is a nurse, so she selected them.  

Even though they never met the birth mother, it touched my family that they were specially chosen to raise this baby.

If you go through a lawyer, you need to start setting things up before the birth.  This way, all the details are taken care of and are not rushed.

Answer 8

yes open adoption allows you to choose the parents. i think this is the best way if you are going to give a baby up for adoption you should know who is going to be raising them and make sure it is a good, safe, loving home.

Answer 9

Did you know that you can even find someone you know and trust to adopt your baby if that's what you decide?  

Like a family member or  close friends.  You do not have to give your baby to strangers if you don't want to.

Also please know that open adoption is actually NOT legal in most states.  This means that it is open only if the adoptive parents want it to be and they can close it at any time for any reason.  Make sure your state truly, legally honors open adoption before committing to this choice.

Answer 10

Yes if you are going through an adoption agency or private adoption.  However, in cases of foster care, you typically are not able to choose the family - as it is someone usually in the foster parent program.

Answer 11

Of course!  Any ethical agency, attorney or facilitator will encourage it!  You can also meet them, get to know them.  IT is your decision if you wish, but you do not have to select them.

Answer 12

Yes you can.

Answer 13

With open adoptions you can select who adopts your baby.  You can interview them and everything.

Answer 14

Yes, you definitely can.  There are several websites where prospective adoptive parents post their profiles so you can look there before you ever even contact an adoption agency.  Or if you just go straight to an agency, they will have profiles or prospective adoptive parents that they can show to you and you can choose whoever you want.

Edit:  Grapesgum, most of the websites on the internet where prospective adoptive parents post their profiles require that they have completed a homestudy with their agency first.  For example:  www.itsaboutlove.org and www.parentprofiles.com  just to name a few.

Answer 15

Yes you can.  It is hard to do this through a lawyer unless it's a lawyer who does private adoptions that are "open" adoptions.  Sometimes, you will find a couple willing to let you be a big part of the childs life, others will want you to let them raise the child but they will send you photos and information about the child and let you meet when they are in their late teens.  Do what is best for you and stick to it.

Answer 16

Yes!  Most agencies have this option.  We are prospective adoptive parents and are profile is given by the agency to the birthmoms and they pick which family they want to adopt their child.

Answer 17

Yes of course!  :)

You can (and should be) as picky as you want! For example if you want a couple who is tall, takes lots of vacations, makes alot of $$, been married a long time, likes sports and lives in the country, they can definitely help you find the couple you want.  You can always switch agencies if you don't find the right match too.

((HUGS)) and THANKS for considering the loving choice of adoption! You are a hero!!!! :)

If you need someone to talk to here is a pregnancy hotline to call:  1-800-592-4725

Answer 18

Find a reputable agency and tell them the type of adoptive parents you would be interested in. Set your parameters so that they can reduce the number of profiles they will show you. For example, if you are not interested in single mothers or fathers, they will exclude all those profiles. If you only want parents who are Baptist, they will only show you those profiles. Childless couples, or couples with kids. Couples with pets or not. Couples with educations. Stay at home moms or not. You get to set the boundaries. Then from these, you can look at some profiles. These usually have pictures and discriptions of the adoptive family, their home, their town, and so on. You can also pick the level of openness of the adoption. Some people choose to talk with prospective adoptive parents before the birth of the baby, some do not. Some meet, some do not. It's really all in your court. Good luck.

Answer 19

i anwsered your other question you wrote...  i gave you my email so we can talk about your other questions.

yes you can definately choose who your baby lives with.  you can also make arrangements with the adopted parents where you can still remain a figure in your baby's life.  if you choose too.

Answer 20

Yes you can, check the local paper, they have adds of couples that want to adopt a baby.  You can meet them first, as many times as you want.  Some places even have open adoption where you can stay in contact.  I even knew a Mom that put her daughter up for adoption with a rule that when her baby turned 18 she would be given the option to contact her.  They now meet weekly and her son from her marriage now and her first daughter have become friends.  Best of luck to you.

Answer 21

Yes you can. Open adoption. You can do it through your own lawyer too!