Can you comment on another Black Hole poem?

Question

Black hole

By Cynthia S.

Black hole, they say, was a star

large, shining, seen from afar.

in a fit of age it exploded.

Fell into itself, it did

hole with gravity for a lid

No light letting out.

I expect I’ll explode someday

one thing I have to pray

don’t let me fall in on myself.

Let me be fireworks instead.

Answer 1

Very different outlook - thank you.  Whether it be implosion or explosion - it probably will be beyond our control. Our only mission is to - make it as beautiful and noteworthy as we can ♥

Answer 2

My only criticism is the word exploded should be imploded.  Well done, my lady, well done indeed.

Answer 3

I really enjoyed reading your poem

Answer 4

"Hi!"

I agree to go out with a bang,

I want to be a vibrant colour of space.

To display my existence.

of what once was.

Great poem

Cheers : )

Answer 5

It seems all the good people above me said it best.......

Well done & nice job ........

Have s great week!!!

Answer 6

"Not with a bang,

but a whimper."

Don't want it that way!!

Answer 7

'Rage', not 'age'. And it needs more punctuation. Shows promise. (Ah, I see...'fit of age'...it's a pun.)

Answer 8

Your short poem is sweet. I like the narrative. I feel like that sometimes...like my own world is caving in...

You were able to sum up a lot of emotion in a few words where many longer poems fail.  Well done. A+

Answer 9

Clever this is, it sparkles, I like it. Kudos

Answer 10

Your poem shows inspired thought and striking description. I suggest leaving the word age and accepting Dondi's suggestion.

Answer 11

Work on the spelling...but I liked it, actually.

Answer 12

May you be a roman candle

perched atop a black cat stand

exploding... a thousand stars

horizons light... brigter now