Can you comment on the poem below? (its still unfinished)?

Question

The spell of nature

I hear the soft whisper of breeze

As it comes in may

And I see the graceful leaves

How they dance all day!

Far away in the misty dunes

I hear the voice of sea

And as my ears fill with its tune

Nature’s spell takes me

All I can see in the bluish mist

Is the outline of a horse

And I say ‘it’s not a beast’

As it comes with graceful force

Answer 1

That is bloody brilliant. I love it. You really have a rare talent, wow!

Answer 2

I like this you are headed in a good direction

Answer 3

Your first two stanzas have very good examples of nature imagery...it has similarities of Wordsworths "recollections of nature" motif.  I like that.  

The last two stanzas seem to stand alone as perhaps a different scene taking shape.  The "ocean" imagery with the horse may have something else evolving.

Answer 4

Pretty cool

Sounds like your writing about your true love (soul mate) is coming and you are noticing some change without knowing it is he that is riding in to take your heart.

Hartdawg

Answer 5

I like how it flows, and the rhyming is good, it doesn't sound like it was too forced... Cool imagery