Can you create a funny story that includes these??? (wordplay!!)?

Question

The Flight of the Fu bird

The end of time as we know it.

All aboard!!

Is that nuclear?

Captain Vegemite

She's clearly gone mad!!

Answer 1

Captain Vegemite stood on the conning tower of his flying fish "Nautaulis" ( he was dyslectic)

She's clearly gone mad!! he screamed at the telegraphist. Who told her to launch The Flight of the Fu bird?

All aboard!! Is that nuclear? This could be The end of time as we know it.

Rose P

Rose P.

Answer 2

Bettie Bunk, socialite for birth, singer for passion, girlfriend of the washed-up detective Cal Crunk for just a case of terminal boredom, was coming out the cinema. She was invited at the premiere of "THE FLIGHT OF THE FU BIRD". And, as usual, she was berating his boyfriend.

"Could you dress decently for a while? Please? Do it for me. It wouldn't be THE END OF TIME AS WE KNOW IT if you try to act as expected from my boyfriend. And maybe my father would even allow you to marry me"

"But tart", tell her Cal "I'm an hardboiled detective. I've got to wear a trenchcoat"

However, suddenly Bettie stopped talking, and shook a puzzled glance to her hand, placed slightly over her b*****s

"Oh Bettie, there's no time to ask me for a new necklace. You are the one getting over one billion as a monthly allowance, not me..."

Bettie grunted, and began to flail wildly her arms, while a sudden wave of fear gripped the theater.

"I can't see!!", screamed Victor Quilt, the famous painter.

"Somebody help me! I can't move!", asked Priscilla Chetaah, the world famous runner

"Obviously someone just stole the most important assets from famous people", replied coldly Detective Cal

After a soft barking, Bettie elbowed him in his stomach, pointing her mouth and nodding with a wild look

"Your voice too? Strange... was I the villain, I would have taken your boobies. They're far more the best part of you"

A kick on the shin put him on his place.

"Bettie, stay here, and don't speak to anyone"

A slap remembered to Cal of her condition. But Cal didn't mind. In fact he was secretly the all-powerful CAPTAIN VEGEMITE, the Vegetal Dynamo. So, he just searched for a phone booth to change.

Were Bettie less distraught, she wouldn't have noticed the screams coming from the women's toilette. You know, there aren't phone booths anymore in this time.

Bettie, however, was more than glad to see the red, the green and the yellow of Captain Vegemite. With her vocabulary restricted to some barkings and soft grunts, she purred waving cutely her hand. She had always been secretly in love with Capitain Vegemite, you know.

Captain Vegemite inquired the famous victims

"It should be the work of my mortal Nemesis, the Crimson Meateater", told him striking an heroic pose. "Captain Vegemite, to the rescue!"

Vegemite tried to fly away, but something was tugging his cape

"Don't tell me I got tangled on a chair or something. Not again. I can't afford another cape..."

It was instead Bettie, tugging sheepishly on his cape, jumping at the chance to have an adventure with his hero... without Cal noticing, she thought kinkly

"ALL ABOARD!!! Hold tight and don't fall down", tell her jokingly

The trip was almost uneventful. Bettie even managed to buy some Magna Doodle to use. and they arrived at the secret lair of the Meateater.

There, a giant Pots and Pans robot showed up, screaming his rythmical "Destroy, destroy" call.

"IS THAT NUCLEAR?", wrote Bettie before showing her Magna Doodle "I'm still a simple girl, and I'm dreaming of having children one day, not cancer..."

Captain Vegemite, hurled at a wall near her, remarked "Were you dreaming to be some kind of good looking blonde mime too?"

Another punch hit him, and Bettie motioned to him all mopey and teary.

"Pots and Pans robot can be stopped by a shrill cry... like the one of an high pitched opera soprano"

Bettie managed to croak only a small grunt, then shook her head. Then, she found some chair, and started filing her nails.

"How being prettier should help me into saving the world?", told him the still fighting Vegemite

Bettie smiled, then, with a fast motion of her sharpened fingernails, drew a series of lines on his Magna Doodle, producing a sharp schreech, knocking the big robot down.

"One more moment", tell her Capitan Vegemite "I'll thank you when my ear will stop to bleed"

The finally got the lair of the evil Scients

"Give the people got their talents"

"You understimate the powers of their abilities. With their artistry, and physical abilities, I'll dominate the world!"

A force field was surrounding the Crimson Meateter... was this the end for Bettie Bunk's career?

Captain Vegemite had an idea: "I understand. And I know I cannot win. But... why her voice?"

"Because I'm all pretty, and I can speak and talk like some angel from heaven?", wrote happily the socialite

"No, I was aiming for her boobies. They're quite impressive, you know. Such a classy cleavage on such a chav..."

Bettie was steaming...

"I was thinking of giving her voice back... I could always use a chicken for that use"

Bettie tore the forcefield with her hands...

"Help me, Captain! SHE'S CLEARLY GONE MAD!", screamed Crimson Meateater, while Capitan Vegemite used the distraction to broke the complex machinery.

The next day, everyone affected was good as new.

"Thank you, Captain Vegemite", yelled Bettie seeing him fly through

Answer 3

The giant dirigible was ready to rise into the wild blue yonder on it's maiden voyage.  CAPTAIN VEGEMITE was proud to have been chosen to command the new airship.  It was the beginning of a new era, THE END OF TIME AS WE KNOW IT.  The dirigible would once more command the skys..  It would replace the ocean liner for the number one place in luxury relaxed travel.

The press had amassed in force to commemorate this momentous event.  Captain Vegemite proudly answered their questions.  "IS THAT NUCLEAR?" asked one newsman.

"No," the captain assured him.  "It is simply an easier, more leisure method of travel for those who wish to avoid the stress of the usual hurry scurry travel we have today."

"But Captain," one news-lady broke in.  "The blimps of the past were not reliable.  They were prone to fires and exploding,  I, personally, would be afraid to put my life in danger by booking passage on one."

Captain Vegemite laughed.  "SHE'S CLEARLY GONE MAD," he chuckled trying to inject some humor into the gathered crowd.  There was several chuckles from the crowd as he continued.  "Today's airship is the result of all those tests and failures of the past.  It is a perfectly safe way of travel today.  AND, now gentlemen and ladies, if you will excuse me, it is time we start our voyage," he smiled at them.  "ALL ABOARD!!," he called as he waved to them and stepped into the airship.

THE FLIGHT OF THE FU BIRD had begun