Can you get closer to someone by being with them during their last days/hours?

Question

I know this is long but PLEASE READ!

I need some help with this...

My Paw-paw just passed away a few weeks ago. I was one of 32 grandchildren (including great). I was one of the 6 that actually called or visited him. But I was also the one who spent the least time with him. Yet I was the only one that helped take care of him his last few weeks and didn't leave his side. I helped do things that no one else wanted to do. Things that were difficult to see happen to him. I helped change diapers, and give suppositories , shave him, feed him, etc. In his last few days he became unable to talk but I still talked to him even the times I wasn't sure if he could hear me. On several occasions he actually cried when I was talking to him. I would tell him jokes and talk about old times. I fed him his last meal and I slept beside him his last night. I was the last grandchild to tell him I loved him and the last to be told he loved me. Right before he died I gave him a foot massage. As soon as we left the room, he passed away. I think he waited until no one was in the room so we wouldn't have to see him go.Sometimes he would look at me and I felt like I knew what he was trying to say. When he passed it hit really hard. And because of all of this I feel like I have/had a special bond with him that only he and I could understand. I only wish he were here to tell me whether or not he feels the same.

Is this ridiculous for me to think? Have you ever been in my situation?

Answer 1

An angel you are!!  Believe no less.  You are right and I am sure he is watching over you with all his energy.  You are a beautiful spirit and I do believe that all in which you shared can not be replaced by anyone else.  That will echo for some time to come.  Regardless of the differences in beliefs.  Congratulations.  That is beautiful.  

Answer 2

you are most definitly not crazy. i have not beed in your situation, but i can feel your pain. you sound like a nice person, stay that way.  

Answer 3

No Not ridiculous at all!

Mine grandma died recently and she lived far away and I never saw her but when she was close to death I spent the most time with her.

Answer 4

First of all death is very hard on any person. I am truely sorry that your Grandfather passed, may he rest in peace.

Some people think that a person knows there gunna die a bit before it happens. Take my child for example, she was very weak at birth because she was 4 months early (or premature) She died a few nights after i gave birth, and when i looked into her perfect blue eyes i saw pain. Even though she was only a few days old i could see it in her eyes that she was going to die. It was very hard on me espically since it was my first child, she will always remaibn in my memory.

But i think It isnt ridiculous not in the least.

Just because you were the least able to spend time with him doesnt mean you were close. And because you took care of him through his remaining days it made you become closer than possible with him. He is smiling at you, with all his love. Because you were the one who really cared about him right up until the end!

And of course he feels the same, you and him have a special bond that no one else had and he is grateful for it!

Hope this helps

Xx.Shaiya.xX

Answer 5

being wit some 1 in their last days makes the most tighest bond of luv ever, i should know.

Answer 6

i don't think its ridiculas at all if you were that last to be w/ him then you were the last face he saw, and im sure he appreciates you being w/ him in his lasy days, and im sure hes watching over you and you family and his friends. (the people he cares about)

Answer 7

I have not been in this situation. My grand father wouldn't let any of the grand kids see him when he was in the hospital. We were too young at the time. Your story was unbelievably touching. I almost cried and we don't even know each other!

If you feel a special bond it is because he does too. Bonding is a two way street. You're awesome for being there when he needed you the most. You will always have that time together, it will always be in your heart and he will always know how much he meant to you. I bet he is more bummed that he never got to properly thank you. Even though you know he does.

Answer 8

no, i think you can definately get closer to a person right before they pass away. i am glad realized you had not spent much time with him and made up for that before it was to late. i'm sure he died a very happy man!

Answer 9

First of all, I am very sorry for your loss.  I know how you feel.  I lost my mother-in-law last year and also my own mother a few months later.  I was the last one with them, holding their hand as they passed away.  Yes, you have a connection with your grandfather.  The hearing is the last to go, he heard every word you said.  He is always with you.  Just talk to him.  You know in your heart how he feels, just sit quietly and talk to him, you will hear him, he will guide you.  He's probably very grateful to you.  You'll see in the future how this will affect you.  He's always in your heart too.  

Answer 10

def u can get closer to someone when they die, they always show who they really are, cause they know they are going to go. they usally tell u things no one knows or never heard alot about, same when for my grandma a few year back. be happy, ur special, and its nice ur one of a few who cared. sorry for u loss

Answer 11

You are truly a special person to have spent this time with him.  I think you have answered your own question (even though you might not realize it).  Yes, yes, yes, you definitely have a special bond and if he was able to, I am sure, he would tell you...  you meant everything to him and made a big difference.  Keep your memories close to your heart and know you were a blessing he might not have had without you.  

Answer 12

I've SORT of been in this situation. Except my story is that my little cousin is the one who died. He was about 3 years old and he lived right next to me. One day he had to move. A few months later, I went to go visit him.. We weren't as close as you and your grandpa ever since he moved. The day I went to go visit him, he hugged me for a very long time. He laughed so much ; and it was the cutest thing ever. The next weel, I was watching the news and saw him ...there were two cars racing right in front of his house and then all of a sudden, one of the race cars hit the car that he was in and he flew out of the car and bamm. I was crying so much. Even if we weren't that close, I watched him grow up for 2 yrs and I expected to see him a little longer. I cried for hours everyday. People told me its okay to cry and I'm telling you that too. Its okay to cry because everyone does that, of course. You and your grandpa had something really special between the two of you.. but not everyone lives. ]: