Can you give me advice on adopting a child?

Question

I'm a single 20 year-old student, looking into the possiblity of adopting a child (how old depends on my research and the advice I get here) when I'm 23.

I'd just like to hear some advice, stories, information anyone can give me regarding choice, age requirements, cost, things like that.

Thank you for your time.

Peace.

Answer 1

Hi Akin,

I would be happy to provide some advice and suggestions for you.  If you are in the U.S. then you are in luck because there are over 140,000 children available & waiting for homes right now.  Some are sibling groups, some are toddlers, some are school age children, some are teens.  Rarely are there infants in need of adoptive homes.  There are children of different races.  Some have emotional or physical challenges.  Since children all have different needs, the object in adoption is to find the best home for each individual child.  Adopting from foster care involves little to no costs and there is usually no wait after you have been approved to adopt.

To be eligible, you need to contact your state department of human services.  Sometimes that's called children & family services.  They will guide you through the homestudy phase.  Different states have different requirements.  Generally you will need to be at least 21 years old and sometimes a set number of years older than the child you intend to adopt.  You may be single or married.   You will need to pass a criminal background check.  You should be financially stable.  That does not mean rich.  It means you should be responsible enough to pay your bills.  You will need to provide copies of documents like tax returns.  You should be in good health.  You will be interviewed at length.  Your relatives and other people in your home will also be interviewed.  You will need reference letters from people you know.  Your home will be inspected to make sure it is safe and that you have enough space for a child.  

You will need to take some classes to learn about how adopting differs from parenting biological children.  Although not legally required yet, I would also advise doing additional research into the unique issues that face adoptees and how to best meet those needs.  It really will help you become a better adoptive parent.

After at least 6 months of the child living in your home, and if all is proceeding smoothly, you may petition the court to legally adopt the child.  During the whole process, there should be continued visits with the case worker.  If all goes well, the adoption will be finalized and you will officially be an adoptive parent.  Good luck.  Remember, you can come back here at any time during the process to ask questions.  There are many knowledgeable people here on the topic of adoption, and the subject is quite complex.  Thanks for asking, hope this helps get you started.

julie j

reunited adoptee

Answer 2

first consider how old the child should be.

Buy a big photo album.

when the big day comes and you take your child home. celebrate that day. Together. Take photos for the album. The following week you could throw a party for the child. but only close friends and relatives.

maybe you could buy something like a necklace, a bracelet or a teddy bear. It should be something to remember the day you gained a family member.

Answer 3

Not to rain on your parade, but have you really thought this through? I grew up in a single parent household, and it wasn't easy. Personally, I think it's criminal to actually plan to bring a baby into a one parent family. I would have loved a dad, and it would have made life a lot easier

Will you not want to start applying for jobs or developing your career after university? Sorry, but this just screams bad idea to me.

Answer 4

My wife and I adopted our child when we were in our early forties, we left school, went to Uni, got our careers, had what we called our life! then we decided to adopt, our regret was not adopting when we were younger, maybe at the age of 35 would have been better, we have a lovely child who has changed our out look on life and given us another life to lead, been a parent is hard work, and a financial strain, but worth it, I think your heart is in the right place, but please choose your career path first, the adoption process in the UK is quite stressfull, and can be very personal at times, good luck to finding your dreams, and have a happy life.

Answer 5

Julie J has given you a great opening.

I would also advise to really research what adoption means to the adoptee - by reading blogs and books written by adoptees.

For starters - here are some blog links -

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index...

Adoption through foster care is a great way to go. These are the children that are truly in need of a loving home.

Adoption is complex - do your research - be aware & have your eyes wide open.

I wish you the best.

Answer 6

i want to know too so i'll be looking at all your answers.