Can you guy fix this paragraph to have it makes sense ? this is a friendly letter?

Question

Hey, how is it going in Seattle? Hope you’re having great time. It has been like five months since you leave Stockton to move to Seattle. I just finished looking at the picture you gave me after graduation day. It’s really reminding me of you every time I look at your picture. Life after graduation day wasn’t really great; I used to stay home and watched TV. During weekend, my family and I used to go to market, mall, and restaurant. We used to go to China Buffet to get something to eat. In July this year, my family heard about they open a Downtown Festival. My family wants to get some fresh air at downtown, that’s why we plan to go there and camp. We went to Downtown Festival; there were lots of entertainment such as roller coaster, shooting, painting, and swimming. It was really cooling my head a little bit after staying home too long. Finally, time to go to new school is start, this time I’m in college; it means I’m being adult and I can almost do everything I want to do. I’m not being a high school student anymore.

this topic focus on: a. life after graduation day, b went to a downtown festival, c. going to a new school.

Answer 1

This is a pretty friendly letter. You might want to say some more about how you miss the person and mention some things you miss that you used to do together.

Here is my revised version:

Hey, how's it going in Seattle? I hope you're having a great time. It has been about five months since you moved from Stockton. I was thinking about you because I just looked at your picture- the one you gave me after graduation. Life after graduation wasn't great; I stayed home and watched TV most of the time. On the weekends, my family and I would go to the market, the mall, and go out to eat. Sometimes we would eat at China Buffet. In July, we heard there was going to be a festival downtown. We wanted to check out downtown and get some fresh air, so we went. There were a lot of things to do like roller coaster rides, shooting, painting and swimming. It was fun to get out of the house after being cooped up for so long. I am going to start college soon; that means I am an adult and have the freedom to do almost everything I want to do. I'm glad I'm not in high school anymore.