Can you guys tell me if this is a good idea?

Question

my ex boyfriend who told me more than once he hopes the baby dies wants to sign over his rights and not pay child support.. and not have any visitation.. and i need to okay it. OR he can pay me child support but i cant deny him visitation. and hes scarying me because he told me he hates the baby and hopes it dies but will make sure he gets visitation time because he knows it will scare me. hes sick and i think hes trying to scare me... i was thinking of just letting him sign away his rights and not pay child support and not get visitation but then thats like letting him off the hook, you know? any advice?

Answer 1

Do all you can to keep him away from your baby. You will just be even more anxious once the little one is here and you fall in love with them.

Answer 2

Tough tough question, my dear.  First of all, I am so sorry that you have to be in this situation when you should be a happy mom, or mom to be, regardless of you relationship with the boyfriend.  It really sounds to me like this man wants nothing to do with you or the baby.  It is unfortunate and I am willing to bet that one day he will regret it.  BUT, in the meantime, if he has made those comments to you, your first priority is the protection of that child.  I would DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT every single thing conversation you have with him on paper--just in a private spiral notebook, hidden for your eyes only.  Let him sign his rights away.  Even if you did manage to take him to court to make him pay, is it worth it to the safety of your child OR TO YOU, to have this man have any kind of access to either of you--NO!!! Get on with your life as best as you can without him and you will find that you are much better off.  It will work out for you in the long run.

Answer 3

if he doesn't want to see his child then that's on him. he's hoping you wont deal with him so he wont have to be responsible. you don;t have to let him sign away anything. If he wants to vanish, let him. my ex-wife's boyfriend did that to her. my stepson doesn't care to know him. As far as my stepson is concerned, the only father he ever knew is me.

That becomes part of the problem. you dont want anything to do with the father, but you want his money. thats adding fuel to the fire and may make him change his mind and want to see, even may want his child to be with him. you are a minor and he's an adult. it may backfire on you that you are not fit top raise your child. be careful. let him leave and have nothing to do with him. it's not a game by any means.

Answer 4

Let him sign his rights away. Could you imagine giving visitation to someone who wants your baby dead. You'd be a wreck while he has the baby. You can get help from the state if it's a money issue. Don't put your baby in the middle of this mess. Best wishes.

Answer 5

Have him prepare, sign, and mail the paperwork to you to sign.  Basically, he'll need to put the proposition in writing, that if he signs away his rights, he'll not have to pay child support.  Print out this page, with dates and everything on it, with all the answers, and keep a diary of when, where, and what he says about the pregnancy.  Also, research the punitive father registry law in your state.  If there is a PFR law, and he doesn't sign that he is the father, he gives up his rights.  Between the 2 of these, he should lose his rights.  He sounds dangerous and could be that.  Don't agree to the paperwork, just keep it for your attorney.  Legal aid and child support enforcement should be helping you.  Good luck.

Answer 6

well i would see a lawyer, but it really sounds like he is a sicko, and honestly, i would let him sign over his rights, who cares if he is getting off the hook, if you really care about your baby, which im sure you do very much, then let him sign it, that will protect your child forever from him,

and you of course too, who cares about child support, there will be help for you out there, dont owrry about that.

dont worry about letting him off the hook

when he grows up he is goin to remember this for the rest of his life, and regret it everyday, trust me, my real father did this with me, and he has never forgiven himself.

its going to hurt him more that he has a child out there that he gave up,

trust me

Answer 7

Don't let him sign his rights away, then he's getting off free without being held responsible for the baby he made.

Go to court, get your child support.  Honestly, if he's acting like this now, he won't show up for any visits with the baby anyways.

He's just saying this to you to make you let him give up rights so he doesn't have to pay.

My son's father pretty much did the same thing........ Now he's got visitation with his son and does NOT show up for visits.  But he still legally has to pay support.  He has supervised visitation at my house until my son is 2.

Answer 8

honey let him go.  what if he did something to your baby?  and on top of that what kind of influence could he possibly be to this child.  it will be hard now but easir later.  by him signing over rights when you get married one day your husband can adopt and you can be a solid family.  or you could always get proof of his threats and see about child support without visitation wich is unlikely. good luck!

Answer 9

Let him sign his rights away!!!! You don't need to let a guy like that around your baby! If he pays child support you have to let him have visitation, so you are better off on your own! Good luck! And congrats on your little one!

Answer 10

You poor thing!!! I would under no circumstances allow that monster around that precious baby!!!!  I'm not an expert in law, either, but I would think that the state would make him responsible for that child... I would contact child support and explain his revelations to the case worker.  I would also visit with the department of human services and see if there's any kind of assistance you could get if you were to let him sign away his rights and also let them know about his feelings toward the baby and get their input about how you should handle this.  Being pregnant can scary enough, w/ out having to deal with a freak!!  Another option for you is to seek mental health, they may be able to help you build your confidence this loser may have stripped you of and where to start in journey.

Answer 11

well i would have to say that you should let your attorney know what is going on and what he said.....plus make sure that it is brought up in court....and voice your thoughts on the subject to let the judge know that you are scared that he will hurt the baby from what he has said and that you would like him to sign his rights over so the baby won't get hurt but you do need the child support for the baby so that's why you haven't had the rights signed over and ask the judge or your attorney if there is any way for you to get the child support but not let him see the baby or even at that.....he does see the baby but with a cop around at all times.

Answer 12

I hate to tell you this but more than likely the court wont let him sign away his rights unless there is someone to take his place and adopt the child. You also can't tell him that he has no visitation rights, that is something the government will decide. Also if you name him at the birth of the child as being the father, the state will go after him for child support. If you don't name him and lets say two years go by and you or he decides to do a paternity test and the baby is his, he will  have to pay the two years in back child support.  I am going through the same thing right now and just spoke with my lawyer today and that's exactly what he told me.

Answer 13

Im not sure

your best to see some law advise.