Can you help me edit my poem?

Question

I wrote this poem today (funny because it is very hot here)

I was looking for your opinions or editing.

Here it is:

The last of the raindrops leave the clouds empty,

Seeping into your sweater.

The scaly hand freezes under the scaly arm.

A cement floor, drenched in the green light

That creeps though the old green window

We are the cold.

The yellow eyes shriek silently,

Burning your salty tears,

Freezing the acid in your stomach.

As the frosty doorknob creaks open,

A starving silhouette tenses up the muscles in your jaw.

The clouds turn grey once again,

The rain slapping down on the shiny pavement,

There to remind you,

We are the cold.

Answer 1

The last of the raindrops leave clouds empty,

Seeping into your sweater.

The scaly hand freezes under the scaly arm.

A cement floor, drenched in a green light

That creeps though the old green window

We are the only cold.

The yellow eyes shriek silently,

burning your salty tears,

freezing the acid in your stomach.

As the frosty doorknob creaks,

a starving silhouette tenses up the muscles in your thighs.

The clouds turn grey once again,

the rain slapping down on the shiny path,

There to remind you,

we are the only cold.

Answer 2

It was wonderful i all most cried! keep writing please and send them to me so i can read them there wonderful!

Answer 3

Use more metaphors. Also get a Thesaurus, it will help you find better descriptive words, with a more accurate meaning for what you are trying to describe.

Start with the first paragraph:

Leaving raindrops,  empty clouds,

Soaked to the bone(or Saturated to the bone), shivers racing

Low green light upon stone

Slowly creeping through the old green window

Be more descriptive...