Can you help me please....?????

Question

My daughter aged 15 has come home tonight in floods of tears...because there is a rumour in the school that she is a L*****n....which I assure you she is not....she does dress differently to all the "chavs"...but dresses in bright clothes ...so would not class her as "emo"...I want to ring the school..but she doesnt want me to...what should I do...????

Answer 1

Since this obviously puts quite a bit of stress on her, you might consider taking her out of school for a couple days. Try to take her mind off it; go out to lunch, take a walk in the park, go to a museum. She'll be away from the teasers, and it'll give you a chance to talk openly and de-stress.

Also, let her know that no matter how different she looks from her peers, she'll always be special and wonderful, and tell her that there's nothing wrong with being g*y, and that those girls are being stupid and immature for attacking her. The best thing she can do is ignore it; if she fervently denies the rumor, it'll get worse. Saucy comebacks can backfire; if someone asks her straight up, "are you g*y?" she should just say, "no," and nothing else. Eventually the rumor should die out. If the teasing, rumors, and attacks escalate, however, you should talk to your daughter's teacher and the principal; it's their job to make sure your child is safe, and that includes safety from emotional attacks. They can punish the people who started the rumor; this may translate into resentment against your daughter, though, so watch out.

In the end, just tell her to keep her chin up; although it doesn't seem like it, high school will end, and things usually get better afterwards.

Answer 2

Kids can be so cruel. Teenage years always seem to be so difficult for girls. I would tell her to let it roll off her back, or let it appear to, and if the cruel kids being mean to her don't stop soon call the school. They are looking for a reaction and if they don't get one they will probably get bored. My heart goes out to your daughter, I would never want to re-live the adolescent nightmare.

Answer 3

I would call the school. It may not be physical but it's still bullying and it's emotional abuse.

Big deal that she dresses differently. If we all wore the same clothes every day, the world would be a pretty boring place.

Sit down with her and make her understand you're not calling them to cause her more trouble. You're doing it because you love your daughter and you hate to see her coming home in tears. Explain to her that, even though some of the faculty at her school tolerate that behavior and call it "normal," you don't look at it the same way.

If you do decide to make the call, make sure you let the Administration know that this kind of behavior and bullying of your child will NOT be tolerated by you.

I wish you well and hope your daughters' tears dry up soon.

Answer 4

Unfortunately, this is probably not the last time she will come home crying.  Teenagers are so rotten.  I  hope your daughter has some good friends/siblings to support her at school while she is away from your home.  

Honestly, if dressing in bright colors makes one a L*****n, I have been seriously misinformed!!  You should tell her that this is truly stupid... who ever heard of wearing a bright color turning someone in to a L*****n!?

I would ask her what she wants you to do about it... she may not want you to call the school.  If she likes the way she dresses, then she needs to stick with it.  The kids will most likely find someone else to pick on next week... and finally it will be their turn.

I would encourage her to stick it out, and try to confront who ever started the rumor.  She is a young lady, and real life is tough... she could learn some valuable lessons through this by being true to herself and not allowing peer pressure and other people's actions make her feel uncomfortable.  Encourage her to stick up for herself, try not to interfere- so long as she is safe.  She will work it out on her own!

Good Luck... and tell your daughter she's beautiful for being herself!

PS- if I were her, I would wear an orange dress, patent red pumps and a purple hat to school the next day!!

Answer 5

Kids are cruel.  Just be supportive and listen to her.  I think you are already doing the right thing.

Answer 6

Let her work through it.  If you call and complain, she'll probably only get picked on more.  If it doesn't stop, can she switch schools?  Or maybe even go post-secondary her junior and senior year to get her out of there faster?  Kids can and will be cruel, that's about all there is to it.