Can you help me to tell someone that?

Question

i have a good friend who's spouse is messing around , when my friend and i are talking about it, i mainly listen. i don't say much but was wondering if there are definite things that i should i NOT say? or should i just be completely honest and tell her what i see, understand and know for a fact?

so far every one is telling my friend to get rid of the spouse and i have said is "when you are tired of it all and ready you will make the right choice for you." i know that this is not comforting to my friend but i don't want to be the one who makes the decision in this situation. am i doing the right thing?

i really feel bad for my friend because i know that my friend is dying inside and hurting over this and i want to help but i am not sure how. besides this is not the first time the spouse has done this to my friend.

suggestions please...and please no smart remarks.

Answer 1

please says sorry first and do'nt heart him/her

Answer 2

Well, as a person who once had a whole gang of "friends" who knew taht my ex-boyfriend was cheating on me and didn't say one word about it, I can tell you that she will appreciate you much more if you're honest with her. Yes, it will hurt her, but it won't hurt her nearly as much as what he's doing to her. Who knows, she may be waiting for someone that she respects, knows wouldn't lie to her and that she can trust to tell her exactly what you are wanting to tell her. It won't be easy, of course, but being honest with her is the best thing for you both. You should also be prepared to answer questions as to why you haven't come clean with this knowledge before, because she will probably want to know that as well.  

Answer 3

you should tell them what you know/see. they will still hurt but then atleast the prob is in the open and then they can deal with it effectivly and they can start to deal with it sooner and hopefully feel better sooner