Can you help me with a poem for my friends birthday?

Question

So, since I love writing poems, I decided to write friend one for her birthday. I have three questions: 1)Is it too wordy? 2)Would you find it odd getting this from a friend? 3) If you were the recipient, what would your first mental reaction be?

Answer 1

I would have to agree with Poe ! Although a beautiful, and very sensitive poem, it is way too lengthy!

1--not wordy,just to lengthy

2.--I wouldn't feel odd, I love poetry

      someone else might feel odd though

3-- Everyone is different, hard to tell how

      someone else would feel

Hope this helps?  One question is this person love poetry--if yes then go with it!

Not sure but you feel you want to give poetry than go with the suggestion of shortening it!  That is probably what I would do!   Good Luck!!  It is really beautiful !! Cheers!!

Answer 2

I like it! i would think it was sweet to get something as great as this!

Answer 3

i love it its great umm ithink it would be a great poem but it might be sort of romantic i mean it nice, its sounds like u like her :p

Answer 4

yes its too wordy , there is no rhyeme scheme and can't seem to be poem as a friend i will appriciate u for composing poem. i think that u r coposing poem as first but u have a spirit and can compose better in feature i am also coposing poems in marathi my first poem had no rhyme scheme.

Answer 5

Sweet and beautiful

Happy your friends must be ;o)

Answer 6

Johnny Appleseed,

Y: This would be awesome if you were reading this aloud at the party and they knew you were a good poet and the one intended knew your intentions. Chicks dig a man who can express himself, h**l you don't even need to be a good dancer. But if you can't dance, then you better be a great kisser!

N:  If you were alone, this would take to long and it would give off romantic signals that is IF you are friends... If I was the recipient of such words, I would know it's meaning was  romantic in nature! Poetry is a tool to entice deep feelings of gutteral emotion.

Answer 7

Ans. 1>No its not too wordy....

Ans.2> I wouldnt find it odd to get it from a friend

Ans.3>after reading this poem my mental reaction wud b happiness....i wud  b soo happy that i hav  a friend who is soooo caring...

YOUR POEM IS FANTASTIC!!!!LOVED IT AND I ENSURE YOU THAT UR FRIEND WILL BE VERY HAPPY TO GET IT!!GO AHEAD MY FRIEND!!

And when u present her the poem dont 4get to  wish her from my side.... (is she ur girlfriend???)

All the best!!! and i hope i helped you....

Have a nice day!

Answer 8

1- its wordy but it just addes to the perfectness of this poem:)

2- yes it would kind of be odd

3- ok, i hope theres a gift sattached to this because ehy wuld i want to get a stupid poem that i cant do anyhting with on my bday

ok so its rly unfortunate the wayyys ociety handles poetry bcausre i for one am a poet but its the sad truth and writing a poem for your friend on her birthday is porbably no the best idea alothough thi spoem is amazing and shoukd be kept for another time for somebody that will actually apreecaiate it. its really good htough

Answer 9

It is too long, too choppy, words don't blend together, its just not a happy birthday card, its something you wanted to say regardless who got it! Your prose cold be sent to anyone for any occasion

Answer 10

The poem itself is lovely. In answer to your questions.

1. Yes, it is too wordy

2. Yes, I would find it odd if you were only friends

3. hmmm, I hope he isn't trying to be more than friends if she wasn't

If it is for a friend, I crop out this portion and give it to her:

Dear Melissa, sweet butterfly,

your splendor from within!

Let loose in flight, sweet butterfly,

bring joy to hearts that sing!

And kiss our eyes, young butterfly,

with the beauty of a wing!"

and move this to the bottom of the verse:

"Blessed beauty, young butterfly,

an angel of the wind!

Then add your Birthday wishes. You could save the rest of the poem for some other occasion. No offense meant, just a suggestion. Thanks for sharing.

Answer 11

It's awfully wordy and a lot to take in.. if you give it to her at a party don't expect her to do more than skim it.

1) A little bit, but it's still good!

2) Honestly, yeah..

3) Wow they took a lot of time to do this for me.

Answer 12

Your poem is for a birthday, so it should be interesting and  somewhat about groth, and growing up. i think yours is really good-just not for a birthday. : )

Try something like this:

----(name)----------sweet, kind, and and blissful ------(name)---------,   what such beauty as a butterfly spreads its wings, and sores above us into another reality---------(name)-----------the shining star, blazing the universe with what has become a wonder--------(name)---------

swift and silent, swaying as the sea-------(name)-----------each day you grow older, the butterfly, soaring higher,the brilliant star shining brighter, the sea,  swaying like it never has before.

theres more in my head but i have to go so..............

(and i know its pretty bad)