Can you include as many of these titles as possible in a comical story...just 4 the pure fun of creativity?

Question

1. The Land That Time Forgot

2. The Great Escape

3. The Best Years Of Our Lives

4. The Russians are Coming! The Russians are Coming!

5. The Bridge on the River Kwai

6. Tora! Tora! Tora!

7. Deep Shock

8. The Abyss

9. Hope and Glory

10. The Longest Day

11. Fantastic Voyage

12. The Mysterious Island

Answer 1

I WOKE UP N MY HEAD WAS POUNDING ,,I LOOKED OUT SIDE AND THOUGHT,THIS HAS GOT TO BE "THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT",CAUSE I LOOK BACK ON "THE BEST  YEARS OF OUR LIVES"AND I AM IN

'DEEP SHOCK",THAT  MY WIFE LEFT ME FOR A  DONKEY,,YEA A REAL DONKEY,SAID HIS WAS BIGGER THAN MINE,,SO NOW THIS HAS TURNED OUT TO BE "THE LONGEST DAY"I WILL EVER LIVE THREW,,BUT I YELL OUT MY WINDOW,,"TORA!TORA!TORA!,,MEANING I AM GOING NUTS ,,AND THERE I SEE A BILL BOARD  SAYING TAKE THIS"FANTASTIC VOYAGE"SO I GET TO THINKING I WILL PACK UP N LEAVE TO "THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND"AND BRING HER DONKEY FRIEND WITH ME N HOPE "THE ABYSS"THEY TALK ABOUT IS DEEP ENOUGH TO SHOVE HIM IN N THEN ILL NEVER SEE HIM OR HERE ABOUT HIS THANG,,,ALL "HOPE AND GLORY "IS ON MY SIDE TO DAY,,BUT OH NO WHATS THAT THE RUSSIANS WARSHIP DONKEYS,,,"THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING! THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING!!!SO ILL SHOW THEM,THAT JUST CAUSE THEY WANT TO SAVE A DONKEYS @SS!!!!  ILL B "THE GREAT ESCAPE' EVER KNOWN TO MAN,,SO AS I AM RUNNING FOR SAFTY I SEE A  SIGN THAT SAYS WE HATE DONKEYS,WE EAT THEM YUM YUM GOOD MEAT,,

'THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI,"SO I RUN I CROSS THE BRIDGE,AND THE MOST PRETTIEST SITE WAS "THE BLUE LAGOON"I NEVER RETURNED TO THAT SACK OF **** EX WIFE,LET HER FIND ANOTHER DONKEY,,,LOL,,HEY ITS THE FIRST TIME I EVER DID ANY THING LIKE THIS HOPE ITS AT LEAST READABLE.N I HAD TO ADD THE BLUE LAGOON ALL THE OTHER MOVIES WER MY FAVORITES ,,PEACE

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Answer 2

(5)  The Bridge on the River Kwai crosses the (8) the abyss created by the (7) deep shock of a magnitude 8 earthquake.  The bridge leads to (1) the land that time forgot.  We crossed it at the end of a (11) fantastic voyage which began when we made (2) the great escape from

Russia back when it was better known as the USSR.  At the end of (10) the longest day of our lives, we were met by a crowd of people shouting (6) Tora!! Tora! Tora!!  We later learned that in their complicated language, these small words meant (4) The Russians are Coming! The Russians are Coming! The Russians are Coming!  When I first heard this I thought, "If only English were so simple!!"  

We have been here now for several years of course.  (12) The Mysterious Island they directed us too has provided everything we need, but I must be honest; although these have been (3) the best years of our lives, most of us are really getting tired of Gilligan and the Captain singing that stupid song day and night, night and day.  Sheesh!  Enough already.

Answer 3

THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING!

Once upon a time, in THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT, something fell out of the sky and bonked Henny Penny on the head. What was this strange reddish-purple object? She had never seen such a thing as this, so she took it to the smartest being in the forest, the wise old owl, to see if he knew what it was.

“Wake up! Wake up! Wise Old Owl,” demanded Henny Penny. “ZZZZzzzt! Snort!” answered the wise old owl sleepily, as he opened one eye and yawned! “Wake up!” Henny Penny cried again. “Have you ever seen anything like this?” she asked,  running around in circles, because she was so excited. “Child, this is a beet,” answered Wise Old Owl. “It is a vegetable. I have seen them often in my travels. Russians make borsht from beets.”

“Oh! No!” exclaimed Henny Penny. “THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING! THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING! I must go and tell the king.” Before the wise old owl could stop her, Henny Penny had rushed off on her journey to the royal palace.

Henny Penny had run but a short distance when she came upon the troll bridge, THE BRIDGE OVER THE RIVER KWAI.  The troll stepped out from under the bridge, and said, “To cross the bridge, you must pay the toll….25 cents please.” Henny Penny looked in her purse, but all she had was a gum wrapper and a button.

The troll saw she had no money, so he said, “Tell ya what. I have some errands to run. If you will baby sit my triplet daughters for an hour and collect the tolls, I will let you pass.”

“OK,” said Henny Penny. “What are their names?” ….. “TORA, TORA and TORA” answered the troll proudly. “Goodness!” exclaimed Henny Penny. “Why did you give them all the same name?” ….. “They all look alike,” explained the troll, matter of factly. “If you want them, just call TORA, TORA, TORA!”

“But, what if I want just one of them?” asked Henny Penny. “Then, just use their middle names, Faith, HOPE AND GLORY,” replied the troll. “I do believe that‘s too confusing for my little birdie brain to comprehend!” Henny Penny declared, as her feathers started to get a bit ruffled. “Besides, I have important news to tell the king, The Russians are coming! The Russians are coming!”

“Why didn’t you say so in the first place?” asked the troll. Those Russkies will probably want to blow up my bridge!! My dear departed wife, Mrs. Troll, and I have spent THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES living under this bridge.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Mr. Troll,” replied Henny Penny sympathetically. “How long has your wife been dead?” The troll frowned, as he answered, “I didn’t say she was dead---just departed! She ran off with a musician, Little Boy Blue. She loves the way he blows his horn."

“Be off with you then, since you are off to see the king to tell him such important news,” the troll continued. “I’ll let you pass for free this time.”

As Henny Penny neared the castle, the king’s horses and the king’s men intercepted her. “Who goes there?” asked one of the guards. “It’s Henny Penny!” she answered, nearly out of breath. “I need to see King Humpty Dumpty at once to tell him the Russians are coming.”

“Humpty Dumpty is no longer king,” replied the guard. “Don’t you remember? Just last month you told King Humpty Dumpty the sky was falling. He stood up to point out to you that the sky was still up there--not falling at all. In doing so, he lost his balance, suffered a great fall, and broke into a gazillion pieces. All the king’s horses, and all the king’s men could not put poor Humpty Dumpty together again.”

“OOPS!!” uttered Henny Penny, blushing slightly, thinking that perhaps somehow she may have contributed in the teensiest way to Humpty Dumpty’s fate. “How could I forget a thing like that?” she thought to herself. “Could it be because I’m blonde?”

“Papa Smurf is king now, but he’s been in DEEP  SHOCK ever since witnessing King Humpty Dumpty’s death,” said the guard. “I’m not sure it would be a good idea for him to see you. I’m afraid if I let you near him, he‘ll have a complete nervous breakdown.”

Just then, the wise old owl came to a screeching touchdown from his cross-country flight through the forest. “I hope I’m not too late,“ he said, breathlessly. “Don’t pay attention to anything Henny Penny says!“

“I came as soon as I could,”  Wise Old Owl apologized, “but since we owls are nocturnal, I couldn’t make the flight till sundown. This has been THE LONGEST DAY of my life--ever since Henny Penny woke me up this morning. She thinks the Russians are coming just because a beet fell on her head!”

“You know what, Ms. Penny?” announced the guard. “I think you deserve a reward for all of your efforts in the king’s behalf. Don’t you agree, Wise Old Owl?” The owl nodded his head in agreement.

“How about a trip to THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU?” proposed the guard pleasantly. “Dr. Moreau runs a sort of health spa.” ….. “I’ve never heard of The Mysterious Island,” answered Henny Penny. “You’ve never heard of a lot of things Ms. Penny,” answered the guard, dismissively, “and yet you continue to spread your tales.”

“Hop up on my shoulder and I‘ll give you a ride down to the pier,” directed the wise old owl to Henny Penny. “If we hurry, you can catch the last boat tonight. Captain Hook should be setting sail any moment to cross THE ABYSS.”

“Have a FANTASTIC VOYAGE!!”  Wise Old Owl called to Henny Penny as she walked down the gangplank to board the boat.

“Mission accomplished!” said Wise Old Owl, as he returned to the palace. “Do you think Henny Penny will get the help she needs on the island?” …. “Hard to say,” answered the guard. “No one has ever returned!”

Answer 4

X 1. The Land That Time Forgot

X 2. The Great Escape

X 3. The Best Years Of Our Lives

X 4. The Russians are Coming! The Russians are Coming!

5. The Bridge on the River Kwai

6. Tora! Tora! Tora!

X 7. Deep Shock

X 8. The Abyss

X 9. Hope and Glory

X 10. The Longest Day

X 11. Fantastic Voyage

X 12. The Mysterious Island

The [3] best years of our lives are those that are spent making memories with the ones we love, even if those memories are... well!

I remember being in a flying raft with my girlfriend Peggy.  Our tow rope broke, and away we went, tossed by the wind, [2] the great escape from gravity and into the wild blue yonder.  Below us was [8] the abyss of the ocean and above us, the blue abyss of the sky.

The raft landed and I was in [7] deep shock for a bit, from breaking a rib.  That was just the beginning of [10] the longest day of my life and our [11] fantastic voyage.  No food, no water, not a single luxury... we drifted with [9] hope, and glory of the deep Pacific Ocean with its wavelets and glowing half-glimpsed life within.

A day and a night we drifted, and part of the next day, and we were both lobster-red from sunburn.  We hit land on [12] the mysterious island that had loomed off our "prow" for most of the morning.  It was undeveloped, uninhabited, [1] the land that time forgot, it seemed.

I was out of it, woozy, when I heard someone saying "[4] The Russians are coming!  The Russians are coming!"  It was a park ranger.  What a comedian.  I mean, sure, Peggy and I were red, but hey.

She radioed for a helicopter to come and get us.  Oh boy.  I'm not going to tell you about the heck we caught from our parents.

Answer 5

Once upon a time in THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT, it was THE LONGEST DAY of the year.HOPE AND GLORY lazily trailed their fingers in the cool waters as it flowed under THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI.  On the other side of the bridge was THE ABYSS where the water tumbled over the edge and down far below into the river known as  the DEEP SHOCK.  Legend had it that it flowed on to the Mystic Sea where THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND of Mongo Pongo could be found.   It was hidden from view and protected by a bank of low lying clouds  Only the pure of heart could reach it's enchanted shores.  The sun was always shining and all that sought refuge there could live in blissful peace and harmony.

Suddenly the peaceful tranquility was broken by cries of, "THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING!  THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING!"   Hope and Glory leapt to their feet in fear.  The Russians were a tribe of war mongrel dog soldiers from the neighboring island of Russheba.

"What can we do?!,"  cried Hope as they cringed together, their eyes darting to every shadowed  corner.

"Tora will know!," Glory responded nervously.   "Let's go find her!"  They ran through the forest until they came to a small clearing.  In the center stood a little grass cottage.  They hurriedly ran toward calling out, "TORA!  TORA!  TORA!!"

The wizened  little old woman appeared in the doorway.  "Hurry inside, you two," she beckoned.  "The others are already here."  She closed the door behind them as they rushed inside..  We are going to make THE GREAT ESCAPE and set out on a FANTASTIC VOYAGE," she told them.

All eyes were rapt upon her with wonder and awe as she explained the journey ahead of them..  "We have lived here in peace but always with the possibility of invasion from the Russians," she told them.  "Now is the time for us to spend THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES on Mongo Pongo where we and future generations can live in peace and joy."

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