Can you live in today's world and be a homeschooler?!?

Question

In today's world...Mommy and Daddy both have a job to make ends meet. Gas prices are skyrocketing. The cost of a gallon of milk is almost $5! Unless you are working or upper class you cannot afford health insurance...much less pay for a doctor out of pocket....or you have to be at rock-bottom...living off welfare. If you are disabled but make over $300 each for a family of three...but cannot afford to pay for health insurance...social security says...oh...so sorry...too bad! you get no help. (the way i see it...in order to afford to live...my less homeschool...or have any freedom of choice...you must either be rich...or a welfarer. two parents cannot follow today's forced societal culture of both parents being the bread winners...and still be the sole one's that instill morals and educate your own children. To h**l with sexual equality if you want raise and educate your own children.) What do you think? Tell me your experience and opinions.

Answer 1

You've clearly mentioned why homeschooling would not be a good choice for your family. So what is so appealing in the first place? I personally dont think that the costs outweigh the benifits. Children are alienated and they develop completely different social skills than the children at public school. Whether or not the participate in clubs or sports, they are not exposed to different information, a different learning style, and a completely different enviroment. I think it is important for them to have a diverse learning enviroment, to experience different values, and ways of thinking. It really can be avoided all together. If its a matter of not liking the school system, try to work out a commuter education, if its that you want to bond with ur child, join a club or something together. Dont gamble with your childs future....Its far to precious

Answer 2

We live in today's world and are homeschoolers. I know many homeschoolers who live comfortably. They aren't on welfare, but most aren't rich, either. I would say, however, that probably 80% of them had already been to college and all that before having children, much less before homeschooling, or had their families already set up for mom to stay home. Most take cuts here and there in typical North American lifestyle or mom works part-time in some way, but only a few I would say are poor. (Admittedly, I'm in Canada--our student loans are probably not as high and health care is almost completely paid for.)

You sound like you have a more complicated situation than the typical homeschooling family. Perhaps it really can't work out for you. Or perhaps it's just not the right time.

If you really want to homeschool, just keep seeing it happening in your head. Don't set a deadline, don't purposefully think about how it'll happen. And definitely don't focus on all the stuff preventing it from happening. If it's the right thing, the pieces will start putting themselves together.

ADDED: After reading a little more closely your edits, it sounds like you have a deaf and mute husband and one child. Is he not capable of looking after your son? Sure, he wouldn't be able to do the fine points of phonics with him, but he should be able to provide some help. Do _you_ have any time at all whatsoever? I've heard of families whose child/children were in care during the day and in the evenings or before work in the morning, they did their lessons. A 7yo doesn't need much in terms of instruction. An hour a day, with the rest for educational exploration and play, would be fine. Perhaps more than fine depending on the child. There are even programs out there designed for the child to be almost completely independent, like the Robinson Curriculum, so as he got older, while he might spend more time on studies, it doesn't mean he'd be receiving more instruction from a parent.

Answer 3

Alright, I started reading the answers and decided I'd just answer with my answer and hope it doesn't repeat what has already been said.

It is hard to do.  I feel for you.

My struggle  with the desire to homeschool started when our son was in 3rd grade.  We did not start homeschooling until he was starting in the 8th.  I waited until my husband agreed and it was a long, difficult wait.

I hear your frustration.  I've read that the cause of stress is when our actions do not following our beliefs.

Just looking at your question, and I hope I have not missed anything, but why could your husband not homeschool your child?

Would that not work?

Answer 4

here is a good site with home schooling info on it that someone posted earlier http://www.homeschoolinganswers.info

Answer 5

It's truly a lifestyle choice. What is more imporant to you? Your children's education and your relationships with them or things? The real question is do you trust God to supply all your needs? His way? That's the bottom line.

  We are homeschooling 4 children and living from paycheck to paycheck because of our debt (bad choices) and I stay home. Are we blessed - of course!

  Does hubby need to get a better job? Sell things? Get a lesser vehicle? Cut out activites? Did you know that most people actually spend more when they both work then if one doesn't?

Can Mom work from home?

Answer 6

I haven't read all the other answers yet...

I am a homeschooling Mom. I am also a SAHM and I am blessed with that.

My Husband works full time and we do make ends meet. We do not have a lot of money to go on field trips so we rarely do. That is OK with us... we do go to the library and have lots of friends that we see. I also visit with my sick Grandmother when I can. Gas is so expensive so I am at home more but it is truly what you make it...

Think about it..... children in schools don't go on many field trips.. they are always doing the same thing everyday. You can make everything you do at home a great learning experience without spending money. We play A LOT of games... my kiddos love to just hang out and do that. We also watch the Discovery Channel and things like that.

If you have to work then why don't you work part time 2nd shift? If your Husband is on 1st shift then you could switch out when he gets home. You could get in 5 or so hours a night and still get a good nights sleep.

I wish you the best.... I know that I am truly blessed and I wish the same for everyone.

I am a firm believer that when their is the strong will to do something their is a way. It may be hard but their is a way.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

I am going to start off by saying that my family is quite blessed.

But this has come about through a long time of frugal living - from the beginning of our marriage - decades ago.  Instead of a big wedding (or any wedding at all, really) and instead of a honeymoon we took the money we would have spent on those things and made a down payment on our first house.

Only once have we purchased a new vehicle (and it is now really old).  We do not use credit that we do not pay off the same month.

We waited quite a few years to have a child - for a while we were dinks (double income no kids).  Rather than blow through our double income we saved.

You talk about society: society says spend beyond your means!  Buy that new car.  Buy more house than you can afford. Eat out often!

Only in the past couple of years have we felt that we were able to "afford" a family vacation once a year.  And yes, we save up and pay cash.  How much we are able to save  determines our vacation - they don't tend to be too fancy (neither one of them!).

We are older than most parents of a 9th grader but I won't say just how old we are... that combined with a long time of living below our means has made a difference in our financial flexibility.

Like other answerers we rarely eat out.  We garden, gather sap and make our own maple syrup, participate in a small farm where we get all of our eggs, chicken and goat milk.

The groceries we do buy, we buy in bulk.

Currently my wife works but so do I with a very small family business in which I involve my son as part of his education. We would probably be considered middle class but we live as if we are lower middle class.

I'm not sure what you mean by "to h**l with sexual equality..."?

Question for you: Does your child know sign language?  If not, why can she not be taught and why could your husband not be the teacher?

Update: Man head of household & woman the home maker. Now I am getting a little angry and offense is taken.  My wife CHOOSES to work.  It makes her HAPPY.  Being at home and being a home maker is not her thing.  I'm OK with being Mr. Mom and plus I have the "entrepreneurial bug" and have an opportunity to pursue my own dream - actually both our dreams.  We hope to one day be doing well enough for our own business to support both of us... and if it happens to work out our son too.

If you want to look at this from a biblical perspective, at some point in a boys life (around age 13) he is turned over to dad for an apprenticeship - uh... carpenter for example.  I am proud of what I am doing with my son!  Do I think that in any way I am setting a bad example.  Nope!  He sees me working my butt off on a small business, I set a great work ethic example... And he has seen me as a student when I taught for a short while I had to go back to school for certification.

Question: What are your intentions with your degree? Get the degree and then be a stay at home mom?  So, it is education  solely for education's sake?  That is fine and admirable but is that really your intent.

Your answer to my earlier question that got this whole thread started fairly well blasted me for "being on YA too much."  Why wasn't I tending to other things?  Well, I tried to be civil and helpful... but like I said above, now I have taken offense.  I looked at your profile.  You have been on YA a month longer than I have and you 1) have posted more answers than I have and nearly as many questions.  I have more points because I have more best answers.  What is that saying about glass houses?

Update: Oh yeah, in case you are still worried about my priorities... as I am doing this I am also burning DVDs as a volunteer effort for a twice monthly activity my son participates in.  I videotape and burn DVDs twice a month for the kids.  It takes a while to create them ... so here I am!

Hef:  Thanks for the clarification.  Sorry I got riled!

Answer 8

You most definitely can live in today's society and be a homeschooler. People do it everywhere all the time.

Kids help educate each other. If you have teenagers, they can help teach the younger kids.

Field trips are not mandatory. The Internet works just as well as a bus tour.

Even if society is against you, if you think it is best, homeschool anyway. If the public schools and private schools are c**p, homeschool anyway. You will not regret it.

Answer 9

Honestly I don't think its impossible.  My family eats beans, lentils, pasta and rice.  My husband works full time, I work part-time.   We don't drive if we don't have to, we do have health insurance.  We drink powdered milk.  We live in a 60+ year old house and the kids share rooms.  Our furniture and most of our clothes comes from thrift stores.  Our carpet is as old as the house.  When our house needs painting we do it ouselves.  We don't have cable T.V. , we only got internet a few months ago.  We can't afford both a cell phone and a land-line, so we will be cancelling our cell phone now that our land-line is hooked up to access internet.  We grow a large garden each year and put up the food for winter.  We don't eat out, our idea of vacation is camping in a tent somewhere in our home state.  We don't spend money on correspondence schools, but plan our own homeschool curriculum.  We don't buy boxed cereal, instead we eat oatmeal (not the instant kind), or homemade pancakes, or eggs, or toast.  We buy our bread at an outlet store that sells day-old stuff.  I cut my kids hair myself, and my husbands too.  My own hair is long and straight, I don't get it styled. When the weather permits, I hang clothes on the line to save electricity.  Really, we make a job out of saving money.

Now, I think what really messes you up is that you are trying to be a full time student yourself.  I am not saying to abandon your own education, but it might be a choice between that and homeschooling.

I am not saying its easy... my husband is not a doctor or lawyer... he has no college degree, neither do I.  We just do without a lot of things that other people don't think about.  Espresso's, manicures, cable TV, vacations, dinner out, driving a new car, eating meat every day, etc.

Now you've added the info about the deaf and mute father.  There still might be a way, but it will be more difficult.  I feel like you are lashing out at us because of your difficulties.  Your question was general, saying that only rich people could homeschool.  I know for a fact that this is not true, because we homeschool and our income is below poverty line.  It could be that in your particular situation it won't work, but that doesn't mean that it is only possible for rich people.

My kids do get field trips... but just like Public school kids those field trips don't have to be out of state, also, we have taken a few trips, but few and far between.  In 15 years of marriage we have traveled out of state together one time, then on another occasion my daughter and husband went to mexico on a Church sponsored missions trip, the church paid the way for us.  For field trips we have visited tide pools near where we live, gone for walks in the forest, visited local art museums, helped clean oil off of shore birds, visited farms in our area, and very occasionally we have splurged and visited places that charge.

Not every Public School student gets to go places like the white house and Niagra falls.  While it is certainly nice to be able to do those things, it is not something that is absolutely necessary.

The best in life isn't always material.  I am not trying to say that you should do it, "my way."  Just that you have to decide for yourself what you really want.  Yes, you might have to have a car, but it doesn't have to be brand new to run.  You also don't have to drive it every day.  It might not be possible for you to homeschool, I don't know every detail of your situation, I just know that not only rich people can homeschool because I homeschool and I am not rich.  I do live in a rural area and right now I do have a house and yard.  But for years I lived in a single wide trailer in a trailer park, we hung our clothes on the Porch of our trailor, and sometimes even inside on racks.   It all depneds how important homeschooling is to you.  If it is more important to you to give your kids the best materially, then by all means do that.

No one said "Quit College", your question was "Can you live in today's world and be homeschooler?"  Our answer is yes you can.  Now, can you do it in your specific situation? I don't know.  But I am living in today's world and homeschooling my kids, so it is possible.

As I find out more about your situation I do feel more sympathetic, how old are your kids?  If they are already reasonably literate, they could work on a lot of things independently.  Also, you might want to look for homeschool co-ops and support groups in your area.  You might find people in your area who can offer some help.

Homeschooling might be out of reach for some, there is a woman in my church who homeschooled and was very committed to it.  Her husband "backslid" and got back into drugs (Meth) and so she eventually had divorce him for the sake of the kids.  She tried to make homeschooling work, she really did.  But with her kids being too young to stay home alone, and no husband around to help financially or otherwise, she eventually had no choice but Public School.  So yes, there are cases where people honestly cannot homeschool.  Perhaps when you finish your ten credits you could re-examine the situation and see if its possible at that time.

*********If God wants you to go to all those places, he will provide the way.  Jesus never left his homeland, his whole life was spent in one area around Jerusalem, Galilee, and Samaria.  Surely if God wanted everyone to see the entire world He would have gone to see it himeself when He was incarnate on Earth.  There are many, many, people who don't get to travel, doesn't God love them enough to let them see the world?  Or did He not create it for them too?**********

EDIT-----EDIT-----EDIT

Just for clarification for anyone else who reads this post.

Just recently, last month in fact, my family got our home free and clear in our name.  This was not expected or planned by us, but was largely a gift generously left to us by my husbands Grandma.  60 years ago when our house was built, land was dirt cheap (no pun intended) around here because you were essentially homesteading, the nearest grocery store being about 30 miles away.  Until we received this wonderful gift, we rented like everyone else.  We did live in the house for a few years while my husbands Grandma was in a nursing home, but we still paid "rent" each month to the rest of the family to help pay for her nursing home care.

We finally are approaching a place where we will have some financial leeway.  Perhaps then we will travel more ;o)  but our priority has always been the spiritual, academic, and moral upbringing of our children.  We have been married 15 1/2 years, and our oldest child is 14 and has always been homeschooled.  

If my picture above (of all the sacrifice) sounds bleak, it is not in my mind.  I would do it again ten times over for what my children and myself have gained through homeschooling.  We might not have much, but we have time together.  Tilling the garden together, taking walks, cooking the "cheap" meals, playing board games.  My answer may sound bleak because I was trying to point out that we are not rich, and it is not necessary to be rich to homeschool.  :o)

I love homeschooling!

Answer 10

I am sorry, but it doesn't come across that you want to homeschool. You make it sound like homeschoolers go without and most are from that. They know how to prioritize. It really sounds like you are coming up with excuses not to homeschool. I suggest if you are really interested you join a local homeschooling group and bounce your ideas off of them.

EDIT--You should ask the homeschoolers in your church for help and guidance. It may not be easy but if you want to do it, you are just going to have to bite the bullet and do it. Dad should also be involved in the process somehow. I also highly suggest you join a homeschooling group--they will give you guidance when things get rough.

Answer 11

I think you need and email list or homeschooling message board so you can properly discuss this.

Answer 12

I'm sorry, did you just tell me I need a job to be a man's equal?

  Them's fight'n words.

  First let me point out that working single and married moms and dads do manage to homeschool. They work hard for the love of their children and I salute them. You do not have to stay home with the kids all day to educate them. But, I do.

  I don't waste time on being bitter at the state of things. That just takes energy away from molding my world to suit my needs. I don't moan about not getting my way, I just find out what I have to do, sacrifice and learn to get it. If that isn't worth it, I get over it. It is called maturity. I'm not rich. I'm not on government aid. We homeschool with no problem. My family lives simply and find our greatest joy in each other. Just because my husband has a job does not mean he is not key in instilling values in our child. He parents and works multiple jobs. We are partners.  He is not a cash cow. Just because I don't bring home the bacon, does not mean I'm not instrumental in making that bacon last longer and take us further. It is true; we live without many things, health insurance being one. You know what? Most of those things nobody really needs in the first place. We make this work. Do we wish the economy was in better shape? Absolutely. Do we wish this was easier? Sure. Do we feel crushed under the heel of an imposed society? No. We are society! This country is its people. Mother Teresa said, "Be the change you want to see in this world". That is how we live.

Rudyard Kipling said, "The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is hard business. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

I am happy to stay home and be a full time mother. I don't feel like I'm missing out on the working world. I do not need a job to validate me. We see ourselves as rebels, pioneers and innovators. Most people think we are mad to homeschool. Thankfully, we don't care. We are going to live as we see fit, as best we can and we couldn't be happier.

I'm sorry to hear you aren't. Perhaps you should look at this problem from different directions until you figure out a way to make homeschool work for you. After all, another wise person was quoted as saying, "Can't never could do nothin".

EDIT: We or more in student loans than you, dear. If you must, defer. If you both have to work, work different shifts and schedule lessons to match. You will not be the first people to do this. Join a Co-op. Make it work, or failing that, plan HS for down the road when things are less desperate.

         You can't afford gas? Then take the bus, or walk. Live in the country? Then explore nature. What public school takes their kids to all the places you mentioned? You are reaching pretty far to defend your fatalistic rational. Meanwhile, how can you be calling the world sexist, when you have yet to think that your husband, deaf or not can teach these kids? You are looking for reasons to fail and excuses to give up and that is exactly what you are going to find.

Answer 13

I think that's BS...the whole paragraph. You can live in today's world, and be a homeschooler. We aren't rich, we've never gotten govt money, we have seven kids.

People make choices, you choose to spend a lot of money on fancy clothes and new cars and vacations, that's a personal problem. I stay home with my kids, they eat well, they have nice clothes, and they have a life. They are intelligent, well-educated, and compassionate.

Edit: well, the whole post sounded condescending, so I'm sorry if I misunderstood. We don't both work, besides the fact that I work really hard to save money, find bargains, etc so it doesn't cost so much. But if we needed more money I would find a work at home job. If my husband was disabled, he would work from home doing computer programming like my good friend who homeschools and has a disabled husband. I would do inhome daycare (as I have in the past) to bring in extra cash. Just because today's society expects two people to work, doesn't mean it has to be that way. I don't understand where that's come from anyway. Actually, parents could work opposite shifts, if dad is disabled he could stay home with kids (i know a family with two deaf, unspeaking parents and they homeschool very successfully) while mom works.  Some people have grandparents who stay home with the kids and the parents teach in the evenings. There are a dozen solutions to every problem, people just need to think outside the box rather than throwing their hands up in despair.

We have two disabled kids that we do all the schooling and therapy work for, people have said it wouldn't work, they but are much more successful than then they were in school and with typical therapy. You can't listen to society, especially when in your heart you know what's right.

Answer 14

I do not live according to what society 'expects'. We are not on welfare nor are we upper class or rich. I stay at home with my kids and my husband works. Part of the reason this is possible is because we planned for our lives to be this way. We did not have children until I could stay at home with them. We also believe in God and I know we have been blessed.

The main reason 2 incomes are 'needed' to survive today is because no one wants to do without, no one wants to hear the word no. Well too bad in this house. We have one TV. The kids do not get a TV of their own. We do not have a cell phone. We have one computer for family use and it is located in our living room. It is very possible for many people to live on one income, they chose not to because ITEMS are more important to them then their family is.

**********

Just read over the rest of the EDITS. It seems you might have an unusual situation, but it should still be do-able. IF your husband can communicate with your child(ren) then he can teach them. You could also help in your 'spare time'. As if a working mother has much, but if this is important to you, you will find the time. Also at the age of 7, not much intense time is needed. You can find many, many times to teach just in daily living. An easy example is while cooking. You can talk about how flour turns into dough, or teach measurments, or the difference between skim milk and whole milk.

You seem overwhelmed. Get together with some of your church group and see what they have to offer in terms of help and suggestions. Take it slow and find out the laws in your state regarding HSing.