Can you love your spouse but still have an affair?

Question

Can you love/care about your spouse, but still have an emotional and/or physical affair with someone else?

Answer 1

NO.  The real love will never be there.

Answer 2

What's love got to do...got to do with it?

People always confuse not loving someone else with having an affair, but really it's about not loving themselves.  The way you treat other people is a reflection of how you feel about yourself.  If you do not respect yourself you end up not respecting other people and vice versa.

Answer 3

An affair is a sign of huge problems in the relationship you are in - something is not right and that's why this third person is appealing.

Answer 4

care, yes.  love, no.  a marriage is about love not care so...

Answer 5

Don't think so.

Answer 6

Yes, I think it's possible. I don't think the problem is specifically that the cheater doesn't love their partner, I think the problem is that they don't respect or care for them to the extent that they should, and they have selfish tendencies.

It has a lot to do with the fact that they don't actually think through what they are doing, and all the consequences that will follow in the short or long term. There is also the ubiquitous 'drunken mistake' type of cheating... and if it applies, then the cheater is just very stupid.

Answer 7

In my opinion people who cheat dont give a sh*t about their spouse or marriage.

So if they cheat they really and truly dont love their husband/wife cause if they did they wouldn't cheat or want to cause him/her any pain.

Answer 8

Being "In Love " and  "Just Loving someone" are 2 different things. If you seek outside the relationship then you are not in love with him/her. If you are in love with this person you would have to think about cheating! You must be bored in your relationship! Break up before you cheat!  

Answer 9

I think a person can have an affair and love their spouse but the trick is they really don't care about the person they have the affair with that much they make it seem to be more emotional than it is they have to otherwise the person they are cheating with wouldn't be cheating with them because they would know it was just s*x so they have to act like their heart is invested to get what they want.

Answer 10

it is possible

Answer 11

You wouldn't love your spouse as a spouse....no that person would then be just a good friend.  Because if they were your SPOUSE...you'd just want to have an emotinal and/or physical affair with THE SPOUSE!!  So when the fools decide it's time to find someone else to fulfill some void in their life...they've just ended that 'love' they had for their spouse and pretty much made them nothing more than a friend....

Cause that's what it is.....you've turned yourself into a single promiscuous person, and that means that you just have 'friends with benefits' and no spouse, no real love. just someone you can confide in and now LOVE as a friend..and nothing more.  I mean if you really loved someone 100% genuinely...why the h**l do you need to s***w somone else? Or have some emotional support from someone else? You might as well date the person your cheatin with and 'marry' them since you've decided your ex-spouse is just a friend now.

I GENUINELY love my wife...i don't need some other chick to satisfy me sexually, or have my emotional support, or whatever, my wife is all of that IN ONE.  If you need to 'share' certain aspects of women..one for emotional, one for s*x, one for fun....all that c**p...then you shouldn't even be MARRIED....that's what a 'MONO'gamous relationship is about...mono meaning 1 PERSON...not 2 or 3 cause you need to divide your life and organize it in sections to be happy...you might as well be a d**n playa and stop WASTING OTHER PEOPLE'S time.

So all that 'oh i still love them, i just need someone else for this and that' is straight bullsh*t....you just love them as a d**n friend from that point..not as a spouse....it's right there that tells that person "hey..you ain't ready for no monogamous relationship...just end it and live a playas life like you NEED to..cause apparently that whole person concept ain't workin for ya."

Answer 12

No its a sleezy thing to do. You cant love someone and have s*x with someone else. Its a horrible thing to do!

Answer 13

This is lying to yourself....how can you d two things at a time?If you want to have an affair why in the first place you got married?

Answer 14

sure you can

Answer 15

Yes.

Answer 16

No, because that's what cheating is. Love involves an emotional and physical aspect if you have that with someone else, how can you say that you love your spouse?

Answer 17

I think that if a spouse cheats in the marriage they have their priorities about what love means and some clearly messed up morals. It takes a lot of energy to have an affair that they could be putting into the marital relationship instead of giving it away to someone else. It's a horrible choice against the person that a spouse claims to love then expects them to remain with them to sort out their mess. Loving someone truly and sincerely means that you do not have the heart to emotionally abuse the person that you love by making them feel unsafe and insecure with you. Everyone has their own defination of what love means to them and if they show you their feelings about cheating on you then they don't even know what respecting and caring about a spouse means let alone took the vows of marriage with ear plugs in their ears.

Answer 18

  With a physical affair yes you can still love your spouse.  You are however showing very little respect for them at that time and are still hurting them.  With an emotional affair no.  I don't think so.

Answer 19

Impossible.

Answer 20

i think you can, but its frowned upon. i honestly dont think humans were meant to be monogomous.  

Answer 21

If you even cared about your spouse, let alone love them, you would never subject them to this type of pain.  If they were to ever find out imagine how you could tear them apart.

In my opinion, if you cared.  You would not allow yourself to do this.  If you respected them and loved them you would find the strength within to resist and never place yourself in a situation that you could even emotionally feel for someone in that way or to have a physical relationship.

If you don't love them and care for them and you want to have an affair then LET THEM GO!  Don't hurt your spouse for your own wants!

Answer 22

An Affair No.  I don't think so.  A cheat one time I think yes.  Because if you love the one you cheated on you will only be able to go there once.  Things can happen when you don't keep the communication good with openness and honesty.  An affair if you hold love in your heart for your spouse then you would crumble under the deceit and not be able to do this.

Answer 23

No. Its just that simple. There is nothing worse in a marriage than infidelity.  

Answer 24

NO when you are married you took vows to keep yourself only to one another.there is no room for this in a marriage.the truly happy lasting marriages include the couple and GOD.

lying,cheating,stealing these are all sins and for good reasons they destroy the family unit and trust.

things are hard in life but that is not an excuse to cheat just because you are bored or unhappy.

people who feel entitled to cheat are probably to blame for their own problems.keep it real,good luck.

Answer 25

Nope, sorry. If you love them, it would hurt you to even think of the possible pain you could be causing them...therefore no

Answer 26

I think that when you have a long term relationship that you always love the person but may not like them. If you start to build resentments for whatever reason, that is where the cheating comes in. If you love them and like them then there is no reason to cheat unless you are into destroying your relationship. Why cheat? End it with the first and move on to the second. You are skirting dangerous territory if you cheat.  

Answer 27

Yes, I can.