Can you mention some expressions which always makes you laugh?

Question

for instance, there's an expression in Romanian defining a stupid person as "someone who's staring like a bull to a new gate"... it always makes me laugh imagining such a starring... is there any expression, linguistic metaphor, etc., which always makes you laugh?

Answer 1

He or she is like a bull in a china shop

Your so short you could kick a duck in the A$$

Answer 2

Here's one I've never really understood but I always laugh when I remember it. I heard it while on a business trip in Louisiana, USA. We were dealing with an unreasonable, illogical person who just would not quit insisting on everyone doing things his way, and one of the people who was working with me, turned to me and softly said of that person, "He can't keep the butter up on his noodles." Obviously it's not a compliment.

Answer 3

Hot, Hot, Hot, Hot, Hot, Hot, Hot, Hot, FIsh

It is from Singstar and we felt that in Solid as a Rock by Ashford and Simpson there were to many Hot's and the fish is from a rap we werent any good at and we got a line bonus on the word fish!  

Answer 4

what the heck does imao mean????????

Answer 5

He's got as much chance of winning as a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest.

Answer 6

My favorite has always been this one:

"Yeah, and monkeys will fly out of my butt."

It's used when someone is exaggerating. It always makes me laugh.

Answer 7

I can't just pick one, so I thought I would send you some of my favourite links, I think you will like them.

All the laws of Murphy in one place

http://www.murphys-laws.com/

http://cheeringcharms.com/

http://www.humorcolumnist.com/index.html

If you like funny toilet pictures, f**t poetry, potty humour pictures, poems for restroom walls, bathrooms jokes, strange outhouses, rude urinals games, washrooms funnies downloads, candid celebs images, bodily movements or weird washroom signs. Then dive into this cess pool of off beat comedy.

http://www.porcelainpoetry.faketrix.com/

Answer 8

My mother used to say, when she heard us giggling, "It sounds like somebody found a HaHa nest with HeeHee eggs in it." And we'd laugh even harder.

Another comes to mind from a boss I had. When we had a huge, difficult task to do, he'd say,"You know how to eat an elephant. You do it one bite at a time."

And this one's a bit gross, but a lawyer I know, when someone is lying to get out of trouble and gets caught in his own web of lies but refuses to give up, will say, "He sounds like a man eating his own testicles."

Edited to add one more:

Okay, here's one I saw just a little while ago, but it has stuck in my mind and keeps making me chuckle::

DON'T TRY TO ADD ME OR I'LL KICK YOU THROUGH YOUR SCREEN!

Answer 9

My grandfather, who was always very grumpy, always used to say, "Don't worry about the mule, just load the wagon" with regards to chores or anything laborous! lol

Answer 10

Greek expression " Get an egg and give it a haircut! "  

For... impossible missions!

Answer 11

Holy S**t On a shingle!!

or even better:

Jesus Christ on a stick!!

Answer 12

while someone sneezes their nose.

Answer 13

As cold as a mother-in-law's tongue.

Sweating like a w***e in church.  

Answer 14

My grandfather used to always have interesting things to say, but my all-time favorite has to be:

"Patience is a virgin"

My brother says that explains why nobody has any patience!

Answer 15

These two make me smile:

As tight as a ducks ar**e - to describe someone who is tight (a skinflint)

It's cold engough to freeze the balls of a brass monkey (it's very very cold)

Answer 16

when i see Mr.bean's face... he's so frickin funny lolz

Answer 17

I'm hungry enough to eat the south end of a north bound skunk.  

This isn't meant to be sarcastic, but I heard this years ago and thought it was funny

Answer 18

that person looks funnier than a badger with a mouth full of yellow jackets.  

Answer 19

cutting the cheese!! haha lol

Answer 20

"the distance a crow has to roll a flat tire" (when getting/giving directions) - instead of "as the crow flies"... It always conjures up cartoon-like images of the poor, overworked crow.