Can you please psychoanalyze the following girl in my life?

Question

Not in my life anymore really, I chose to finally ignore her but here's the deal.

I met this woman online, we chatted a bit, and then I finally went to her office to meet up with her, chat over some business, etc.

We got so attracted to each other that we started making out right there in the offfice, and actually ended up having s*x. It was unbelievably passionate, and I'm not even 100% straight!! It was weird and intense. Needless to say I liked her, and she really liked me, but more so than I liked her. We kept texting each other over and over and over, and met up two or three more times, but then...I don't know. Things got weird, I found out she was married and she started acting shady with me. Once she texted me saying "my husband knows about us and yaddda yadda," and just "dont text me!" She turned kind of into an enemy almost, trying to "entrap" me, and blame me for this stuff, and she then admitted that she's an alcoholic, unhappy in her marriage, and only WISHES that she could dirvorce her husband for me, and she's wealthier than me, by god only knows how much and sometimes acts like a snob, which to me is a turn off.

She'd text me and be like " be here in 15 minutes, or never text me again!"

And wanted everything "Now." "Be here now, come now, today," bla bla bla. I even told her , listen, you have to give me some notice, you can't just expect me to be there last minute, but no.

That wasn't good enough for her.

Then finally , I started ignoring her, and stopped answering her texts and even signing up online.

She then texted me "why are you ignoring me online, is this over?"

I said, I'm not ignoring you I've just been busy.

Then she texted me again saying hi, etc, and I texted her back two days later....and that was the last I've heard from her and it's been weeks.

I guess she either got the clue, or I wasnt quick enough for her.

Seriously whta's up with this woman? Can you analyze her?

Why was she showering me with compliments, kisses, and all this great stuff like I was the best person ever at first,

only to end up not caring in the end?

I guess the initial hotness of it all wore off?

Answer 1

She was married, an alcoholic, and apparently very unhappy with her life.

You were her release. A release that she wanted to keep, but just couldn't seperate it from her other life.

It's sad really. Who knows what else she had going on that she didn't tell you about.

Maybe everything was "hot" at first because it was new and fun. Then she had consequences to deal with. She shouldn't have cheated on her husband. The sheer stress was probably enough to make it immediately not fun for her.

She might have been using you, but she was in no position to give you a real chance. You will meet someone much less dramatic, that has a lot less baggage, that CAN give you a real relationship.

Answer 2

Welcome to the new world order post sexual revolution.

She's a manipulative controller, and since you mentioned that she's an alcoholic, you already know she has an addictive personality type - it's likely that s*x is just another part of that mix for her.  

She sounds passive-aggressive as well.  She's unwilling to confront the issues needed to resolve her problems and fix her marriage, so she sneaks around behind her husband's back and cheats.  In the process, she uses s*x as a control tactic to gain the power she doesn't have in her everyday life.

She showed you all the attention because she wanted something from you, which she got the first day you met.  Maybe she did like you as a person as well, but given the situation, getting to know you as a person wasn't high on her agenda.

Women have been dealing with this kind of c**p from men for years.  Nowadays, although , percentage wise, it's still usually a male behavior, women who do the same thing are not really uncommon.

If hot s*x was your objective, you got it.  If you were looking for a relationship, it's advisable to get to know the person before s*x so you know what you're dealing with, and to see if you're actually compatible in other areas as well.

Hopefully, your feelings didn't get hurt too badly.  It's never wise to invest in someone emotionally before you get to know them.

There are female players out there, just like there are male players.

To them, it's all about game, conquest, or fun.

In this particular situation, I'd say you got lucky.  Although it's not as widely publicized or prevalent, there are female sociopaths, psychotics, and stalkers out there who cause the same harm and chaos to their victims as their male counterparts.

She sounds like an unhealthy and potentially volatile or dangerous person, and that's not even calculating the risk inherent to the fact that she's married, and the possible outcomes if her husband found out.  I wouldn't recommend trusting her explanation that he knew about you.  Given the other things you explained, that might be true, but it could be just one more lie in the game she plays.

You were used, but at least you walked away with no physical harm (hopefully no std's surface).  Take it as a lesson learned.  Think through what you're really seeking before you meet someone again so that you can set some boundaries for yourself in advance.

Answer 3

Just say HO

Answer 4

You set yourself up for failure. Your first mistake was having s*x with this woman before you got all the facts. Your second mistake was becoming her little cabin boy. You are in the best position now, with her out of you life. Time heals most wounds, plus your hate for her will drive you to meet other women.

She sounds like a manipulative w***e.

Answer 5

Sounds like classic borderline personality disorder. Classic. These people are very manipulative and needy. They'll do what they need to do to get what they want. That is, they'll act charming and loving and sweet and everything that is appealing. Once they've ensnared whoever they mean to ensnare, then they'll change. They see everyone and everything as extensions of themselves. Therefore, once they've roped you in, they'll treat you badly because now you're THEIRS. You are part of them, and they no longer need to regard you as anything but their plaything. Being charming in order to get what they want from you is no longer necessary (in their mind) because that would imply you have a will of your own, and that thought makes them anxious.

Such people are very volatile emotionally, and shift from love to hate and back very quickly. They generally are very narcissistic, and have a massive sense that they're worthless, which they conceal from themselves with repeated mentionings of how great they are and how wonderful everything connected with them is (hence her mention of how wealthy she is, and being a snob). They often have addiction issues, so it's no surprise she's an alcoholic.

So it has nothing to do with initial hotness wearing off or anything. Let this be a learning experience to you to distinguish charm from genuine kindness or goodness. It can be difficult to distinguish at times, because the manipulative are often very adept at what they do. One way you might be able to tell early on is to see how they speak about and treat others around them.