Can you please tell me what your custody plan is like?

Question

im not with the father and want to get an idea. he has a job and lives in a 4 bedroom house with like 9 other people. He already has one child and pays support for her sometimes and just sees her every other weekend. I just want to get an idea. i have an appointment with a lawyer next week

Answer 1

I've been divorced for four years, have 2 girls now that are under 18 (13 and 10) our son is now 19 and doesn't go back and forth.  But this is our schedule.  Our schedule rotates on a two week schedule.  Thurs, fri, sat, sun they are with dad, mon tues back with me, wed thurs, back with dad, back with me fri, sat, sun, mon, tues, wed.  Then it starts all over again.  The days they are with dad are the same days (actually nights) that I work.  I am an RN and work 12 hour night shifts and it works perfectly.  I only work when the kids are gone and I am always home when the kids are home.  What is getting difficult is my girls are getting older and are wanting to have a more stable situation and not have so much back and forth.  My ex and I do not see eye to eye on much of anything, discipline, chores, allowance, etc.  He talks nasty about me to other parents and they end up only calling him when I am the primary custodian and make most major decisions regarding the kids.  It sucks most of the time but I try really hard to bite my tongue and be there for my kids.  They know who is really there for them and not playing games.  They see their dad is still very angry and wants nothing more than to hurt me and control every aspect of the situation.

The best advice I have for you is to keep all communications with their father to a minimum and always speak like a lawyer or judge would be reading or hearing what you are writing or saying.  That rule has kept me out of a lot of trouble.  I haven't been perfect by any means, I have done some stupid things.  But I try to forgive my self, learn from it and move forward.

Divorce, seperation, child custody is the hardest thing I have ever been through and am going through.  Sometimes I don't think I can deal with this for 8 more years and just want to give up.  But my children are worth any battle I have to go through.  I love them dearly and want them to come through this healthy, well adjusted adults.

Good luck and God bless!!

Answer 2

Not divorced but here is how one of my friends handle it.   They were married and have 50/50 custody.   He get their child a few nights a week and every other weekend.   So like Mon, Tue Wed he has her takes her to school, picks her up feeds her etc then mom has her Thur fri and he will come and get her on Sat and Sun.  Then the next Monday mom has her Mon tues wed. Then he has her Thru fri then is it is moms weekend. So one big loop never ending. They parent together  and make decisions together