Can you recommend a meditation / visualization CD that won't make me roll my eyes?

Question

I've heard all about the benefits of meditation and visualization. But the CDs I've tried so far make me want to roll my eyes and think, "you have got to be kidding me." I think I need something that's very practical, or somewhat humorous, vs. liable to make me want to bite the speaker's head off. (NOT a good meditation!) Anyone have any ideas?

Answer 1

Check out the links below

Answer 2

I agree, these meditation CDs take themselves way too seriously.  The fact is, you don't really need a CD in order to meditate.  

There is a big difference between so-called "guided" meditations (what you get on a CD) versus self-guided.  Most guided meditations are really just relaxation exercises, and that's fine, but it's not actually meditation.  Meditation happens AFTER you are relaxed (because you need to be relaxed in order to meditate).  After you are relaxed, you can begin to concentrate, which is the next step towards attaining a meditative state of mind.  But again, concentrating is not in itself meditating.  Feeling more relaxed in life and being able to better concentrate are by-products of meditation, and they are valuable assets indeed!

I've been meditating for nearly 30 years, and have experienced a half dozen guided meditations during that time - otherwise, it's been all self-guided.  Here is a good way to start out with self-guided meditation:

1) Find a quiet place where you can relax undisturbed for at least five minutes each day.  The actual amount of time is up to you, but make sure you can regularly practice every day.

2) Having found a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down, close your eyes and think to yourself, very consciously, "Now I am going to meditate and do nothing else for the duration of my meditation practice."

3) Starting at the top of your head, move through your body, trying to feel each part relaxing downwards.  Take your time with this, three or four breaths in each part, with each breath relaxing yourself down a little more.

4) If you find it impossible to keep your mind on the relaxation exercise, then count your breaths as you move from one part of your body to the next.  If and when you lose count of your breaths, just start again at the point you think you were when you lost track of your count.  Don't be self-critical for having lost count.  Just relax!

5) Once you are relaxed, start watching your breath, either at your nostrils or at your abdomen.  One place or the other but not both.  When your thoughts carry you away from watching your breath, take notice of this, and return to your breath.  Again, don't be self-critical - just notice that your mind has wandered and return to watching the breath.

6) The important aspect of this is not watching the breath, but noticing that your mind has wandered away from watching the breath.  At that moment of noticing, you are fully awake to your mind and your self.  It is that moment of noticing which you want to gradually expand upon, lengthening from an instant to a few seconds and finally (after much practice) minutes at a time.  This state of mind is called meditating.

7) At the end of your practice, take a few minutes to simply enjoy your newfound calmness of mind.  Feel gratitude for the blessings of your life and appreciate the awesome miracle of existence.  And as you go about your day, try to recall this calmness and gratitude every once in a while.

I wish you all the best in your journey!

Answer 3

Try a chi gong meditation CD; they are typically pretty straight forward and based in thousands of years of tradition.

Answer 4

I'd strongly recommend Wave I of the Monroe Institute's Gateway Experience CD sets.  It's a deliberately minimalist set of meditational exercises that uses binaural beat technology instead of fluff to guide your mental state.  The later waves in the series get really pretty remarkable.