Can you revise this letter for me??? Thanks and any input and corrections are valued!!!!?

Question

Dear Scholarship Committee:

I am honored to be one of the recipients of the Lapiz Family Scholarship and would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your support and generosity in providing this award. As one of this year’s recipients, I am truly grateful for the significant help that this award will bring forward upon my educational life.

I will be the first in my family to attend college and growing up in a small town with limited resources has made me realize the value of a college education. It is an honor to be recognized for my hard work and receiving this scholarship motivates me to continue to strive for excellence. Thanks to your kind support, I will be able to make my dream of attending the University of California Davis and majoring in International Relations a reality.

Once again, I want to thank the scholarship committee for making this scholarship possible and for choosing me as one of the recipients. I thank you for your confidence and willingness to help me achieve my goals. Without doubt, I will make the best out of this scholarship and will not disappoint you and I look forward to the day that I will be able to help others just like you have helped me.

Answer 1

Being one of the recipients of the Lapiz Family Scholarship is an honor because the award reflects the true generosity of the Lapiz Family and their support for _________ whatever this award was supposed to support. This award will significantly forward my educational goals at the University of California at Davis.

Receiving this scholarship motivates me to strive for excellence. Being the first member of my family to attend college is a proud moment for not only me, but my family members as well. With the limited resources of our town, this scholarships does not go under appreciated.

In my undergraduate work and upon completion of my degree in International Relations, I hope to give back to my community like the Lapiz Family has done. I thank the scholarship representatives for the confidence in my future achievements.

Thank you, once again, for recognizing me and honoring me with the Lapiz Family Scholarship.

Sincerely,

YOU

you want to not sound so cliche. also, plug the actual intent of the founder of the scholarship in when you can.