Can you spoil a 6 month old baby?

Question

My son is 6 months old and everyone is on my back about how much I spoil him; he sleeps in my bed, i'm still ONLY nursing, I am always with him, 24/7 and it is getting to the point where he wont stay with anyone unless he can see or hear me. I didn't think you could spoil a baby that young, i figured seperation anxiety was just kicking in, but what should I do? I mean, I love sleeping with and nursing him, he's my best bud, lol, but am i hurting him more than helping him right now?

Answer 1

no because if you do it he will be used to be getting what he wants so stop spoiling him and if he crys so what

peace

Answer 2

i don't think you are spoiling him. but he should learn how to be with other people without NEEDING you near by.

Answer 3

yeah. ttry giving him a crib in your room then slowly and graduatley  give him his own room. but i think as a first time mom atleast your giving him attention right?! your doin good.

Answer 4

I think there is a limit to everything. I understand you want to spend every second of the day with him, but the question is, is it gonna hurt him in the long run. Children have to learn to be with other people (unless you don't want to do anything by yourself for the next 10 year) I don't think it has anything to do with spoiling him.  

Answer 5

yOU CANNOT SPOIL A 6 MONTH OLD. HE NEEDS HIS MOMMY!

You should breast into a bottle and let someone give him a bottle brcasue the seperstion from boob to bottle is very tough for them/

Answer 6

u need to leve him alone occashionally to get him use to being away from mommy its hard the first few times when the cry but it is deffinatly necessary i work in a nursery and when some parents give in it gets so bad and they can never leave them alone

Answer 7

no , dont listen to them,  hes so young he needs all that attention. spoil him all you want :) youll be closer when hes older also

Answer 8

hey hes really young and ur just exitd to have a baby. O dont think ur spoiling him. I wuld stop the breatfeeding though

Answer 9

NO!  You are not hurting him.  This is such a crucial time for bonding. He needs all that you are giving him.  Continue to give him all the love and attention that he needs.  However, try to get him used to being around other people.  Maybe have a friend hold him for a few minutes while you do the laundry or something.  Start off with just a few minutes or so at a time.  He'll begin to trust other people and know that Mommy will be back soon.  Pay no attention to what other people say.  Enjoy your little buddy....because they grow up oh so fast!!

Answer 10

my son is 6 months old and people say i spoil him too, but i feel that i LOVE him and want to spend time w/ him. my son sleeps in the crib and i do not nurse, but i do carry him alot and will attend to him alot. i work full-time, so when i get home it's ALL about my son (yep, my fiance gets jealous too!). so are you spoiling...well, i don't know, but hey what if you are, SO WHAT! pretty soon he wont want to be kiss and held by his mommy, so i say let us cherish these moments! he'll eventually grow out of it, but just dont expect your family to babysit him cuz they're not going to be able to deal w/ his crying and such.  

Answer 11

YES!! You can really spoil a baby that way. the earlier you start, the harder and more painful it will be for the both of you to undo the spoiling you've already done. he needs to sleep in his OWN bed, and he needs to learn to get along well with other people. do you really wanna spend the rest of your life 24/7 with him? as he grows older, it will be more and more hard for you to discipline him to obey you. once he learns to walk and talk, the tantrums will be horrific. you need to slowly unspoil him, get him to eat baby foods, try to get him to sleep in a bed, and get other people to look after him!

Answer 12

yes you can

Answer 13

he got lucky. there should not be problem at only 6 months age. you will have time to manage it after 3 or 4 months.

Answer 14

I don't think it's a serious thing right now but over time you'd want him to be comfortable with others you trust without you being there because that's just in his best interests - for many reasons, one of which is his own social development and sense of family.  But like I say, it's not so serious and the way I see it, who knows what life could throw at our wee ones up ahead, so I'm spoiling mine with affection as much as I can!  I think I'll blink and she'll be a moody teenager not wanting to hang out so I'm enjoying it for as long as it lasts!

Answer 15

No, you aren't spoiling him.  Allowing a baby to become as attached to his or her parents as they need has been shown to produce happier, more independent children in the long run.

You don't give a child separation anxiety by giving them what they need, it's the other way around. Separation anxiety is a stage, just like any other, that the child goes through in their own time (your son's age is prime time for this to start).  Forcing separation before they are ready will often make them more clingy and insecure, not less.

Don't listen to the co-sleeping nay-sayers, there is nothing wrong with it, and the child will not be sleeping with you for the next 10 years.  Usually people who say things like that have no experience with it.  My son is still breastfed, we co-sleep, and we held or wore him most of the time until he was about 9 months old, when he decided he was ready to start exploring on his own.

I say you're doing a great job giving your son exactly what he needs!

Answer 16

Your baby should never be your "best bud", that is reserved for a peer.  Yes, you are doing him more harm than good at this point.  I suggest you make changes slowly.  Perhaps starting with having him sleep in his own crib in your room.  Leave him for a few minutes at a time with a trusted family member or friend.

Answer 17

I would say you arnt spoiling him but if i were you i would try to get him used to some other people so then maybe he will go with them sometimes and not always need you

Answer 18

yeah but dont spoil the baby too much because the baby would end up wanting what she wants like if you say no to something she will start screaming and cryign at that age babys start learning there surroudings and stuff so i suggest not to spoil it to much

Answer 19

no, people are silly. You do for your baby what you think is best. If you want to always be there for your baby and make sure he has the best things and is always happy there is no harm in that.

Answer 20

He will only be a baby for a short time, take advantage of it :-)

You can never spoil a baby enough :-)

Answer my ? if you can, please:

http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

Answer 21

"but am i hurting him more than helping him right now?"

Not at all - quite the opposite.

"New parents often ask, "Won't holding our baby a lot, responding to cries, nursing our baby on cue, and even sleeping with our baby spoil her?" Or they ask if this kind of parenting will create an overly dependent, manipulative child? Our answer is an emphatic no. In fact, both experience and research have shown the opposite. Attachment fosters eventual interdependence. A child whose needs are met predictably and dependably does not have to whine and cry and worry about getting his parents to do what he needs.

Attachment studies have spoiled the spoiling theory. Researchers Drs. Bell and Ainsworth at John Hopkins University studied two sets of parents and their children. Group A were attachment-parented babies. These babies were securely attached, the products of responsive parenting. Group B babies were parented n a more restrained way, with a set schedule and given a less intuitive and nurturing response to their cues. All these babies were tracked for at least a year. Which group do you think eventually turned out to be the most independent? Group A, the securely attached babies. Researchers who have studied the affects of parenting styles on children's later outcome have concluded, to put it simply, that the spoiling theory is utter nonsense."

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t10020...

Answer 22

He's your best bud? He's not  your bud, he's your son. You had better get rid of that "bud" thought soon or you will have real problems as he is growing up.

It is not healthy for you or your child to be together 24/7. You are smothering him, and do you have an identity of your own anymore?

Your child has to know, even at that young an age, that mommies leave but mommies also come back.

It's time for you to start helping your baby help himself a little bit. Buy him a crib. You can keep it in your room at first, but it's important to get him to sleep in it. You can set up a bedtime routine that includes lullabies and nursing and a regular bedtime.

Once he's in his crib, you don't have to run to him every time he whimpers. Put a few toys in there and let him learn to occupy himself for a few minutes.

And it's okay that you're nursing, because he still needs that. But it wouldn't hurt anything to start giving him a little bit of baby food or cereal.

It sounds to me like you're having some issues of your own, and that you're using your love for your baby to satisfy something that is missing in your own life. And that's not healthy for either one of you.

As far as leaving him with people, yes, he will stay without seeing or hearing you. Drop him off with grandma or a sitter now and then and just go. He'll whine for a few minutes but he'll be okay. Babies don't have that much of an attention span, and a good sitter or his grandma will find something else to get you off his mind.

It's not healthy for anyone to be with someone 24/7. You need some space and so does he.

Do you want him in your bed when he is 5? 10? 16?

The biggest favor a mother can do for her child is give it some independence.

Answer 23

I did that with my daughter and at some point you will want to stop but the baby might not so you will have alot of sleepless nights.

Answer 24

No way!  Wish the world was full of mothers as loving and concerned as you are!

It could be more of an insecure feeling without you around.  Not clear to me if when you left him it was sudden and you weren't nearby for a while.  Don't take offense if you've already tried what I've noted below.

Think the most important is the need (could happen in emergency so you planning ahead and preparing) to have someone you completely trust caring for him whether you're nearby or absent.  If you can slowly get him use to a few minutes at a time in your home or other.  NEVER sneak out on him hoping he doesn't notice, this will backfire and over time he won't trust you.  In comforting voice, assure him you need to go away for a few minutes, you'll be back soon, and say to him who will be taking care of him while you're gone (eventhough he's 6 mos. old) he needs to start hearing and seeing the goodbye scenario.   "I'm leaving you with grandma, or Susie or whoever, and she's going to take good care of you.  Then wave to him so he sees that you're leaving, say your "Good bye I love you...mommy will be back soon..."  Make certain that you are back soon.  Just get out of his sight, don't let him hear your voice after your goodbye...  If he starts crying don't panic and in advance, warn the person caring for him not to panic if he starts crying, remain calm, do best to gently comfort him verbally and in action.  Give the person a chance (at least a minute or a bit longer, it'll feel like forever so you might have to use your watch so that you're allowing reasonable time) to see if he's adjusting to babysitter's attempts.

Clarify in advance that the person he's left with doesn't try to comfort him by stuffing a bottle or pacifier in his mouth (since food or dependance on pacifier isn't the solution to all).  If his needs were taken care of before you left him (hunger, thirst, diaper change, he's hot or cold, clothing) if he starts crying, most likely due to your leaving, why would the bottle or pacifier help him?  

If he goes bezerk, don't let it continue, get back asap but without rushing in a panic nor talking to him in a panic.  Calmly say to him "I'd told you mommy would be back soon, grandma took good care of you while I was gone.." then building up your time away.  Hopefully he'll become more trusting and confident when left with someone else.

Because your nursing, give him a bottle of breast milk for a feeding, he needs to experience bottle, later have someone else give it to him and change his diaper while you're still present.    You can supplement his diet with pureed food whether breastfeeding or bottle feeding.  You won't feel rushed to wean him until you need to.

Enjoy your very precious moments sleeping with him, your opportunity to bond with eachother.  He's an infant so don't let anyone convince you that you're spoiling him!  There's a critical  shortage of love in the world and no doubt this begins at infancy and very young ages.  When given love, comfort, kindness, truth, respect for his feelings, he'll probably grow up the same.  He has the rest of his life sadly to experience the ups and downs.  You have him home for such a short time, the best time for you to give him all the attention, love and more you can.

Suggest to not put him in crib after he's fallen asleep because when he wakes up, he might panic wondering what happened...then naturally cry mabye scream in fear.  He needs to know what to expect before being put in his crib and before falling asleep. Similarly reassure and work up his time in the crib with you sleeping in your bed next to him.  You'll eventually sleep comfortably for a while separate but still close.  

No need to rush him into his room, when you're ready, after his crib has been moved, do same reassurance and building up time system with a chair next to his crib.  When he's adjusted, move the chair a couple of incles away when he can't see that you've done so.    He shouldn't notice the difference and eventually your chair will be near his doorway, then you can do your "goodnight I love yous" and leave his door open.  When he gets older you can work the door closing same manner if necessary.  Transition is better than sudden.

Wean him when you absolutely need to or want to, same with him sleeping with you.  You'll feel when you're ready for the crib process next to your bed and when you're ready for crib moved to another room.  .  

Some cultures have babies and children fall asleep with them,  they've told eachother day's events, had question and answer time, listened eachother's creative/imaginative stories or read some.  The children know in advance they'll be transferred to their rooms at some point just before they fall asleep or after.

Hopefully some of your best memories and your son's will be of earlier years, priceless innocence of infancy, childhood and mother.  You don't want some day regretting that you cut those times short unnecessarily because of others' pressuring.

You're good person, wonderful mother trying to do the best for your cherished baby, no criticisms on this end.

Hope your lives will be peaceful and joyous.

P.S. Don't feel badly about those whose criticized comment about your best little bud.  Obviously it was a figure of speech, not you thinking your infant son was your best friend!  I feel the lectures about you being a parent, not his friend were too harsh and out of line considering the situation you described.

Answer 25

He shouldnt be sleeping in your bed. He will get used to it and wont be able to sleep away from it.  Also, all babies start to attach to one person around that age, but if you are literally always holding him or around him, he will not ever want to leave you.  This will cause h**l for the babysitters or family that he inevitably has to stay with at least once in his life. You need a break sometimes too, you know?  I just watched a baby who was constantly held and screamed if i set him on the floor or couch....my arm was really tired! I imagine similar things to happen if you continue to do that :-/

Answer 26

oh my gosh peolpe get off her butt, about the best buds comment. there is nothing wrong with being a mother and a friend. my son is 5 months old. we sleep together, i nurse him, we even bathe together. i call him my buddy all the time. he spends all day with me and yes, he is attached. i fully support attachment parenting. yes, at this age, my son is unsure about being away from me. but by responding to his needs on cue and forming such a secure relationship, I am teaching him to trust and building his confidence. He is going to feel more competent and later establish a healthy independence. Don't let others bring you down. You are giving your son the best start in life. Dr. Sears offers great insight into the benefits of attachmentparenting.  

Here is a link to his site:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T13050...

Answer 27

You, you can't spoil a six month old, and you can't spoil a child of any age with "too much love."

But "he's my best bud" sets off alarm bells, big time. He's not your playmate or confident, he's your child. You're not his friend, you're his parent.

Answer 28

well, he is old enought to understand actions. and if your spending that much time with him then you probably gave him seperation anxiety without meaning to. let your parents or the father or someone you trust to spend some time with him. it dosn't have to be for long. you both need a break and he needs to learn early that when you leave, you are going to come back. that way it won't be so hard when he gets older.  

Answer 29

As the mom of three  I would say he definitely needs to sleep in his own bed.  Not only is it unsafe for him to sleep with you, he needs to have his own bed and get used to it, so he won't have issues sleeping later.  I have a friend who allowed her son to sleep with her as an infant and he wouldn't sleep anywhere else.  he was probably 10 years old when they finally got him to sleep in his own room.

Answer 30

Allot of people say that you can spoil them that early but I don't believe it I say SPOIL SPOIL SPOIL!!!.... he's only 6 months enjoy your baby

Answer 31

ok so it is good to be close and love nuring him....but you are just giving him bad habits ....I know its easier to nurse when he sleeps with you....but he also has to get used to you not being there!!!