Can you talk someone in to having children?

Question

I am 25 with a 5 year old daughter, my "boyfriend" is 42 with no kids. We love eachother very much but he dosent want kids, and i want one more. He asked me to "wait" for him 1 more month so he can figure out if he wants a kid or if we need to cut our losses and go seperate ways. He is asking everyone what they get out of having kids? What do they do for you? He just can't understand. He is waiting for the right answer and i really hope to find it! Please Help!!!

Thanks

Answer 1

Well if you get married he would have a kid your daughter. You can talk someone into having children but that doesn't make them good parents usually they will end up resenting it and the kid has to live with the consequences. If I were you I would find someone who loves children and shares your dreams.

Answer 2

I am sorry but if he doesn't see in your daughter the reason why we love kids he may never understand. For him to say he doesn't want kids does that mean he doesn't accept your daughter either because you don't want a man that can't accept and love your daughter.

Answer 3

Oh, s***w that.  (Not literally).

Either he wants kids or he doesn't.  He's looking for someone to give him a really good reason for NOT having kids, because he hasn't been able to convince you that's he's serious, yet. He doesn't want kids.  He's 42, and he doesn't want his life disrupted.

One more month isn't going to make a difference.  He is waiting for a lightening bolt from God -- and even then, he'll argue with God.

I know this sounds harsh, but it's time to move on, if another child is very important to you.  He's a bit too old for you anyway.  By the time you are 40, he's going to be past the age for AARP.  Maybe he doesn't want to deal with putting a teenager through school when he's 60.  Who knows?  But he's been pretty clear about his wants -- now it's your turn to be clear about what YOU want.

Answer 4

Nobody should have to be "talked into" being a parent.  

One of the more frequent questions on the adoption board is: How can I convince my husband/wife to adopt?

Answer: You can't.  and you shouldn't try.

If he doesn't want any more children, you have to decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with him.  Don't get married and hope that he'll change his mind down the road.  

YOU need to decide what YOU are going to do.

Answer 5

Please, if you want another child, let the bf go...For those who do not want or enjoy the expenses and the tie down of kids...your not gonna change them and only bring you and your daughter more future sorrow. Please show him the door and after your broken heart heals there will be a man out there with your same goals and desires...Good Luck