Can you tell a deluded parent that their child is fat?

Question

My sister has always spoilt her two sons, and turned a blind eye to all their bad behaviour. They are 5 and 8 and are both extremely overweight. She recently mentioned that she was going to find a new family doctor, because her old one had rudely suggested that her sons needed to loose weight. She is totally oblivious!

Should I say something, and what should I say?

Answer 1

lol

even if she recognizes that they are big

doesnt garuntee that they will lose weight.

id go to a different doctor if the doctor RUDELY told me my children were overweight

or if he told me that period

but mine told me very nicely,

but really

a parent can only do so much

and im sure she cant make them lose weight unless they wanna

Answer 2

I was going to say no but when you say it is your sister then I think yes, it is okay to say something.  What a great doctor she had. Shame she can't take his advice. If they are already extreemly overweight at this age then it will only get worse as they age. Talk with her gently in the hopes of turning these kids lives around before they suffer the effects

Answer 3

Tell her that if she cares, then she should make them loose weight for the sake of their health

Answer 4

If your sister won't listen to the doctor, she probably won't listen to you.  I told my daughter that my granddaughter is fat, and got a nasty glare....then she said "Would you like her to be skinny?"  

Answer 5

No... If they don't believe their doctor, I don't think they would believe you. And if you say that you will definitely create some bad feelings which could have been avoided.

Answer 6

tell her

u love ur sis thats why u tell her because its the truth

best of l**k!!!

Answer 7

Hmmmmmm, when I saw the question I WAS going to answer that a doctor with a set of scales and a stern tone might help.... but obviously not.  

Maybe you could rock around to her house with  a "treat" for the kids in the form of a punnet of strawberries, half a watermelon - something like that that all kids like and might ask for more of.  It sounds like she won't be told and you can't usually do much with people like that except lead by example... poor kids!

Answer 8

Doesn't she realize that she is hurting her children? Their health is at risk. Their emotional well being will come into play as they are teased by peers. They will suffer from low self esteem.

She is in denial. Get her some books on childhood obesity and beg her to read them. Then tell her she needs to get real and think about the health of her child instead of her worrying about her own foolish pride being hurt.  

Answer 9

Take her aside gently, when the boys aren't around.  Tell her that while she has two beautiful boys, you are concerned about their health.  Show her the height and weight charts for their age so that she can see for herself where her children fall.  You can find a copy of them here: http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/growthcha...

Again, keep the focus on health and not on looks.  Aside from calling Social Services if they are extremely obese, there's not much you can do after talking to her.  With any luck, she'll listen to you.  

Answer 10

You could print out the stats on childhood obesity and the link to long-term problems (diabetes, heart disease, cancer, etc.).   Reassure her that the boys are beautiful but now is the time to address any eating behaviors that may be unhealthy because those behaviors will stick with them for life.

Answer 11

didyou ask her why she thought the doc (an objective professional) would say the boys are overweight if they're not?

Answer 12

If she didn't listen to her doctor she isn't  going to listen to you. How much time do they spend with you? If it a lot then you could offer the more fruits and healthy food while they are at your house. You could as try and print off some healthy kid worksheets online. My 6 year old brings these home from school all the time and tells me that I shouldn't be drinking soda because it isn't healthy. You can try and talk to her but i am worried she won't listen and get mad at you.

Answer 13

Yes, say something, at least then you know you tried.

But I doubt it'll do anything because if she isn't going to listen to a professional (doctor) then I doubt she's going to listen to anyone else.

How about getting the chart from the child's health book as that will have the chart in their for average weight and height for their age etc, and if they are that overweight it will clearly be seen where they are on the chart, maybe seeing something visual might work.

Answer 14

tell it like it is.

make her listen.