Can you tell me an Irish joke?

Question

snatcheater24: Which one is the fish?

Answer 1

not sure if this is completely irish but anyways...

paddy englishman, paddy scotsman and paddy irish man were outside a prison playing with a ball.next thing they know, the ball goes flying into one of the cells. paddy englishman goes in to retrieve it and to his surprise he sees sinead o'connor holding their ball. he asks for it back but she says no,only if you can do something i cant will you get the ball back. so paddy englishman does a handstand with one arm, but sinead o connor could do one so he went outside. paddy scotsman goes in and runs up the wall and does a backflip but this she can also do.SO, paddy irishman goes in thinking to himself about what to do. then standing in front of sinead o connor he takes out a comb and starts combing his hair.

he walks out of the prison smiling and bouncing the ball.  :)

enjoy!

Answer 2

How many Irishmen does it take to wash a car?..

Two, one to hold the sponge the other to drive the car back and fore.

Answer 3

Why is Ireland's economy the best in the world?

Because it's capital is always Dublin.

Kind of a lame joke but it always gets laughs

Answer 4

whats the difference between a catfish & and an irishman?     one is a scum sucking scavanger and the other is just a fish.

Answer 5

'Personally,' said Sean, 'I think the greatest invention was the vacuum flask. It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold, but how does it know the difference?' True,' said Seamus. 'But I reckon the greatest invention is the motor car.'

'Why so?' asked Sean.

'Well, think of a summer's evening when you're out for a spin. In no time at all the windscreen and headlights are smothered in millions of moths. Bearing in mind how many vehicles are on the roads, there must be trillions of little blighters about. And if it wasn't for the motor car we'd be up to our eyelids in moths!'

Answer 6

well here is a website filled with them

http://irishjokes.com/

Answer 7

Bless me Father, for I have

sinned. I have been with a loose woman. The priest asks, "Is

that you, little Timmy Shaughnessy?

Yes, Father, it is.

And, who was the woman you were

with?

I can’t be tellin’ you,

Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.

Well, Timmy, I’m sure to find out

sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O’Malley?

I cannot say.

Was it Patricia Kelly?

I’ll never tell.

Was it Sheilah O’Brien?

I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.

Was it Kathleen Morgan?

My lips are sealed.

Was it Fiona Grogan, then?

Please, Father, I cannot tell you.

The priest sighs in

frustration. You’re a steadfast lad, Timmy Shaughnessy, and I admire

that. But you’ve sinned, and you must atone. You cannot attend

church mass for three months. Be off with you now Timmy walks back to his pew.

His friend Sean slides over and whispers, What’d you get?

Three month’s vacation and five good

leads

Answer 8

What do you call a drunken Irish man passed out on your lawn?

Patty O' Furniture  

Answer 9

He that's a trick question, my answer's is "NO"

Answer 10

yes. quoted of family guy "the irish have more drunks per capita than people"

Answer 11

why are we Irish so stupid   answer  so we can understand the  rest of the world lol

Answer 12

Where do Irish men vacation? At a different pub!

Answer 13

Here is one;

"Irish Joke of the day - God’s Hotline

On vacation in Europe, Bob noticed a marble column in a church in Rome with a golden telephone on it. As a young priest passed by, Bob asked who the telephone was for. The priest told him it was a direct line to Heaven, and if he’d like to call, it would be a thousand dollars. Bob was amazed, but declined the offer.

Throughout Europe Bob kept seeing the same golden telephone on a marble column. At each, he asked about it and the answer was always the same: a direct line to Heaven and he could call for a thousand dollars.

Bob finished his tour of Europe with a stop in Ireland . He decided to attend Mass at a local village church. When he walked in the door he noticed the golden telephone, but underneath it there was a sign stating: “DIRECT LINE TO HEAVEN — 25 CENTS”

“Father,” he said, “I have been all over Europe and in all the cathedrals I visited, I’ve seen telephones exactly like this one but the price is always a thousand dollars. Why is it that this one is only 25 cents?”

The priest smiled and said,

“Son, you’re in Ireland now. It’s a local call.”

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Source: web Search:

<>http://www.irelandlogue.com/craic/irish-...

for more Irish jokes visit;

<http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:MPA...

Answer 14

how do you sink an irish submarine?

knock on the door