Can you tell me if my poem is good or not?

Question

The Day I Died

It’s almost that time of my year, how so?

It’s the time when I became what I feared; a “hoe”.

This uncanny event isn’t anything big.

It just so happened to be the first day I lit my own cig.

What a coincidence, it was also the first time I drank.

I learned that some men love to treat women like “skanks”.

I heard that the lake was icy and fresh.

It’s not like I would’ve known, I was inhaling his breath.

That alcohol just hits you like a punch to the chest.

It persuades you do things that you soon want to forget.

Like when I first took a hit of the marijuana smoke;

I felt the burn in my throat and I wanted to be cool, so I pretended like I wasn’t about to choke.

The lies were a result of a juvenile delinquent.

I would be surprised if he gives a **** about how my following year was spent.

I’d like to knock some sense into that boy but he just keeps turning his head.

He’ll learn sooner or later while lying in his prison cell’s bed.

Answer 1

"Yep Diddo",

A lot of teenagers, would be able to relate to this poem.

It's been a few years for me. But still feels like yesterday.

At  least you rose from the smoke of your 'MJ' and perception much clearer out of the hazy days.

We all grow up and learn from our mistakes, and block the bad times behind vaults.

You done really, really, really well writting this. out.

I quite enjoyed it a lot.

WELL DONE!

cheers : )

Answer 2

The emotion is very evident and some lines great.  Meter though needs work.  I would try to condense, tighten the lines and read out loud as you pen to feel the sounds.  This has merit and is worth the extra effort to make it shine.  We all spend time in editing.  Good luck.

Answer 3

i love it