Can you tell me something really funny?

Question

i need a garenteed laugh right now im really bored

Answer 1

Just a couple right now:

>>It is a blessing in disguise if u happen to have a really obese partner and you are small and skinny--you will get shade in summer, heat in winter and moving pictures all year round!

>>Never be the rear guy washing an adult elephant. In a washing incident at an Indian zoo, some time ago, the front assistant commanded the beast to raise up its mouth, so that he could clean its teeth. It obeyed as told and brought its rear down onto the head of the other unsuspecting guy. For some time his  head  remained stuck  until the front guy rushed to pull him out, coughing, spluttering, dirty and breathless! He would certainly remember this suffocating experience for the rest of his life. Yuck!  

Lesson to learn - Always calculate and keep a safety-distance  from  the ends of big animals.

Hope i cheer up your day!   :-))

Answer 2

poopnose. lol i dont know why but the other day me and my friends were at the mall and we were really slap happy for some reason and we heard some little kid call this other kid a poopnose and we just about died. its really not that funny i know but i thought it was at the time lol

Answer 3

I was at a friends birthday, and we were saying 'hip, hip, hurray'... my other friend was standing next to me and said 'Oh, I thought it was Habib, hurray!'. We both laughed our asses off for a good 15 minutes. We both cried too.