Not in a horrible way though...
If i feel down/upset/hopeless etc,etc a lot of the time and nothing gets better...no matter how hard i try or what i do. If everything is pretty unstable and to make things better i reckon things would have to get a lot worse first.
I've realised today that i have no one that really cares about me. It's all fake, for show. Can't explain this but i know i'm right here...
There is an answer to this though. I've taken MDMA before and was happier than ever, it was like the things which caused me pain all just went away. I know there are risks to this...but the way i see it is that if i die i die. You know, i'd rather live only one more year drugged up and happy than a whole life living the way i am now.
Noone cares about me so noone would be hurt. So you can't call me selfish and when i do die i'd give my money to a good cause and leave eveything i own to charities etc.
To me this plan seems flawless. Noone looses out.
Is there a problem? It seems like everything is covered. I even have a little money saved up which i could use so wouldn't need to worry with work anymore.
Tags: