Can you tell me what you think about my short story?

Question

Title: Listen to your elders!

May. The year had went by so fast. It’s a lot more pleasant to be out at night now than it was during the winter. Jessica had gotten used to going outside on the porch for an hour or so just sitting to look at the stars and clear her mind.

Tonight was sort of different. It was especially warm, and she loved it. Jessica was looking forward to spending the night talking to James. James was her neighbor’s son. He was about a year older than her. He’s usually out in the night too. She asked him why he was there a night before, and he simply said he likes the stars, like her. Of course, Jessica knew the real reason.

During dinner her mother warned her not to go outside tonight. Her mother stated that she had a feeling something bad was going to happen. When Jessica asked what was going to happen, all she said was not to go outside. Her father and Grandma backed her up on this.

Answer 1

its pretty good.

Answer 2

is that the end? i think you were trying to create a cliff hanger but you did not do such a good job....sorry but it is too short for....it does have a few grammatical errors....i think you should make it more detailed.....but i guess if you were aiming for a very short story then yes, it is a fairly well done job....otherwise, not that much....and it is not "haven't anyone..." it is "hasn't anyone..."......also, in stories try not to use compounds and avoid the 's after he.....hey, that is just my opinion and i am always very critical....so no hard feelings....

Answer 3

Geeeeee did you hit a time warp again?

Answer 4

Is there anymore to it?

I mean is the old man James or something?

It 's good but It needs a little more closure.

Answer 5

wait. why are u in my contacts. i don't remember this.

Answer 6

OK, I'm like a pro at writing, so here are some tips:

It's 'The year had GONE by so fast.'

Don't get into the habit of using 'sort of' or 'kind of'. They may mess up your writing. Try this: 'Tonight was different.' or 'Tonight was especially different.'

Try not to use 'Grandma.' Use 'Grandmother'. And why did you capitalize it? And it's 'she CRAWLED out of her bed.' It's 'knife', not 'knifknife'. I think it's 'and it was believed that she HAD died,' but I don't think you have to do that.

Answer 7

"The year had GONE by so fast"