Can you text the joke best you ever heard?

Question

win 10 points

Answer 1

Once a Sardar bought a hen and locked it in a cage but the hen escaped from the backside.

The Sardar caught it with difficulty and locked it in a cupboard. But it again escaped from the backside.

The Sardar caught it again and this time he locked it in a room, but as usual the hen escaped from the backside.

The Sardar got tired of it and ordered his wife to cook it for dinner.

He ate it but the hen came out from the backside of him.

I have another one:

once an English, a Pakistani, an Indian and a Sardar passed near a very dirty farmhouse. There they a very dirty and smelly cow.

The Indian said, 'the person who stays most of the time with the cow will win the bet'

First the English went in and came out of 3 seconds. Then the Pakistani went in and came out of 2 seconds.

After that the Sardar went in and some time later the "cow" came out  

Answer 2

theres one but not my best that goes

a dyslexic man walks into a bra

(dont get it)

urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Answer 3

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b*****s who want off, get the h**l off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b*****s who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bit-ch in the kitchen."

Answer 4

this is my friends and my favourite joke.

Why do blonde girls have bruises around their bellybutton?

***

Coz blonde guys aren't that smart either!

Answer 5

A lonely man sat in his dark, small apartment, in dire need of some company. I’ll buy a pet, he thought.

The teenage cashier at Pet-O-Rama showed him all kinds of pets. Dogs. Don’t have a place to walk ‘em. Cats. Allergic. Rats. The apartment already has them.

The man decided on a caterpillar. Just the right size, he thought.

He took the caterpillar home and placed it in a tiny, darkened aquarium in the bathroom. All was quiet.

“Caterpillar,” the man said, knocking on the aquarium glass. “I’m going to get a beer, do you want to go with me?”

Silence. I’ll come back in a few minutes just in case he’s sleeping.

The man returned a few minutes later and knocked on the glass once again. “Caterpillar, I’m going to the bar. Lots of beer! I'll buy! Wanna come?”

Silence. Maybe he doesn’t like beer.

The man decided he would go back again in five minutes. But this was the last straw. “Caterpillar!” he said, raising his voice. “I’m going to the bar now, with or without you!” Had he gotten this tiny friend for nothing?

A voice finally came from behind the aquarium glass. “I heard you the first time!” the caterpillar belted. “I’m still putting on my F*****G shoes!”

Answer 6

Read this paragraph

.

This is this cat. This is is cat. This is how cat. This is to cat. This is keep cat. This is a cat. This is dumb cat.This is blonde cat. This is busy cat. This is for

cat. This is forty cat. This is seconds cat.

* Now go back and read theTHIRD word in each sentence from the top. Betcha you can’t resist passing it on

Answer 7

Here is a pretty good one. A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. And the bartender says "What's this some sort of a joke?".

Answer 8

It’s no good, sir,” said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher, ‘I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other.”

“Goes in both ears and out the other?” asked the puzzled teacher, “but you only have two ears, son.”

“You see, sir,” I’m no good at math, either