Can you undo an Adoption?

Question

My daughter was married the first time for about a year. She was only 17 at the time and got pregnant for her first son, they got married, and was married for about a year, and it was nothing but h**l for her and her child. He was physically abusive to her and eventually walked out on her and their son! Needless to say she Divorced him, and after a litle while, she met another man, and he wanted to Adopt my Grandson. At the time a few years ago, he was alot better person, treated her son, like he had always been his, and treated my daughter well. Once again needless to say they got married and he did Adopt my Grandson, and they were happy for several years(they have been together for 6 years and married for 5 of those years). This past year, he changed dramatically, won't work, physically and emotianally mistreating me daughter, and they have two kids together, all three are his legally though., and now she wants to Divorce him, and she's with her first husband again. I need advice!

Answer 1

Take your daughter to court and fight for custody.  The way she is acting will only s***w those kids up even more than they might already be.  

And give her a swift kick in her a s s.....she needs to get her head out of there.

Answer 2

THE FIRST HUSBAND WILL HAVE TO GO BACK INTO COURT AND ADOPTED THE LITTLE BOY. BECAUSE THE SECOND HUSBAND ADOPTED THE LITTLE BOY. DID THE FIRST MAN GIVE UP HIS RIGHTS TO THE LITTLE BOY? IF NOT YES HE CAN UNDO A ADOPTION. BUT IF HE SIGNED ALL PAPER SAYING THIS OTHER  MAN CAN ADOPTED. THEN,LIKE I SAID EARLY HE WILL HAVE TO ADOPTED THE LITTLE BOY.IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THEN GET A LAWYER. I HOPE THIS HELPS SOME.

Answer 3

I doubt that your daughter would agree to it, but would you consider adopting the children?  Based on your account, it looks like you would be the best option for them.

And you might suggest counseling for your daughter.

Answer 4

The adoption cannot be undone unless husband #2 gives up his rights or a court severs his rights (which can only be done for extreme reasons like abandonment or severe abuse). As is, he is the child's legal father.

Answer 5

Wow, that is quite a story.

I honestly think that there would be a lot of issues to work through the family court system.  The first being the biological father giving up his rights to his child and allowing him to be adopted and then returning in the picture.  Given the fact that he was abusive I would imagine that came up at sometime during the adoption proceedings and a judge or magistrate would take issue with that alone.

I believe that people can change but there are kids involved here that are being damaged.  I recommend therapy for all and suggesting to your daughter that she take a break from relationships all together and get to know herself and strengthen her bond with her children.

Answer 6

She is in a cycle and really, there's nothing you can do as her mother.  I'm sure you advised her against this.  Well, at this point your word means nothing.  Surely, she remembers what her 1st husband was like.  Nothing but prayers are going to work at this point.

Answer 7

Have you tried smacking your daughter repeatedly?

Answer 8

What your daughter need is a better support system around her and some self esteem.

Answer 9

The first husband ( the real father) can fight the legality of the adoption if he was not notified, and did not agree to have his child adopted by this second man.  Most states need the signature of both the biological mother and father to adopt a child out.

It will take going to court, and a DNA test, but if he is indeed the biological father he could get his child back, because his child was adopted out without his knowledge.

If the biological father knew his child was being adopted out, and agreed to it, he has no recourse.

There is another angle......the biological parent could ask to adopt his child back, but the courts might look at this negatively, if he gave the child up willing. The second father would have to give his consent, because he is now the legal father.

Answer 10

it sounds like she is on a self destructive path.  but to answer your question , i do not think that the adoption is reversible. It would be worse on the child to be not only abandoned by his birth father, but to then strike out the only father he has known.  The adoptive father , may or maynot, have anything to do with him after the divorce, but that can not be forced upon him.

Answer 11

I don't believe it can be undone. The legal father would have to agree to have his rights terminated and the bio father would have to go thru the adoption process. Those poor kids though. Sounds like your daughter needs some counseling.

Answer 12

wow, why would she go back to the first one, you can not undo an adoption, but they can have the ist husband adopt the child, what a horrible roller coaster ride for the children, i think she should stay away from men for awhile, and then find a good one, a man that treated her so poorly, she is willing to go back to, once an abuser always an abuser, you should help her work on her self confidence

Answer 13

As an adoptive parent, I know that once you've adopted a child, they are considered yours in the eyes of the law. In order for the second husband to adopt the child, the first husband would have had to give up his legal rights, or have them taken from him. Right now the second husband has as much legal right to the child as your daughter, and his bio-father has none.

Answer 14

We're talking about a child here, not a puppy!!!  Your daughter needs to start thinking about her child not herself!!!  His name is the same now as his siblings.  What's going to happen when this doesn't work out?  Leave the poor kid alone!  Your daughter is a fool and you should just stay out of it and let her make her own mistakes!!!  I feel sorry for her children!

Answer 15

Support your daughter's decisions. That's all you can do. Since he's adopted the first child, he is obligated to pay child support for him just like the rest.

I would probably discourage re-establishing a relationship with the abuser. She's jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Unfortunately it sounds like she didnt learn from her first mistake.

Answer 16

yes you can just put it back up for re-adoption.=)

Answer 17

With her first husband? The one that abused her? Yikes. Contact a lawyer and see what rights the adoptive father has over the son and go from there.....

Answer 18

she can divorce him with no problems, since the child is biologically hers, she shouldn't have to fight for custody. if i were you, i would tell her to stay away from both of the fathers of her children, they are her exes for a reason... other than that, stay out of it, she has to make her own decisions so she can learn from them.