Can you write a little "out of this world" story that includes these phrases?

Question

Hasta La vista baby!!!

How charming...what are they??

The road to h**l is paved with good intentions!

Where am I and WHO are you people!!??

Is this the good place or the bad place?

It's getting HOT in here!!

Answer 1

."In The Jungle, The Mighty Jungle of Neptune's Nearest Neighbor "

"Where am I and WHO are you people!!??" Michael, the NASA photographer grew aggitated with the strange smelling passengers sitting next to him in the Sub-Saharan expanse of the unchartered planet .

"Hasta La vista baby!!!" The inter-gallatical creature who greatly resembled an African lioness tore off her human mask ( it looked remarkably like President Truman), revealing her ferocious reddish-green eyes.  She smiled broadly before destroying the left thigh of Michael. It is noted that Michael got off a few pictures before his intestines were ripped out .

The lioness-like creature soon returned to her family.

Cub:"Hi, mom. I've been waitin' for ya? Will you play with me now?"

The creature shook her head:"Sorry, sweetie. I would, but I'm just too tired."

Creature's Husband :" HUMPH! The road to h**l is paved with good intentions! You are ALWAYS breaking your promises!"

The creature figgited:"Yeah, well.....It's getting HOT in here!!

I think I'll step out for a little fresh air and a smoke." As she started to leave, she threw the photographer's digital camera to her husband. "Here....These may amuse you and get you off my back"

Her husband picked up the camera and scanned the pictures:" How charming...what are they??"

"Pictures taken by my 'lunch', just before he blacked out."

Her husband yelled after her:"Where were they taken? Is this the good place or the bad place? And by the way....Did you bring any leftovers home for Junior or ME?!"

The creature shrugged her tired, but sturdy shoulders and lit up a cigarello. " ♫ A-weema-weh A-weema-weh A-weema-weh A-weema-weh."♫

Answer 2

Sure I can. Are you offering to hire me to do your writing?

Answer 3

"Wha...where am I," the hairy faced man said as he slowly awoke in a daze. "Is this the good place or the bad place...huh..what?"

As he came to, he found himself strapped to something metallic but he wasn't sure what it was. The room around him was busy as people hurried both left and right past but none paid him any attention. Must be the bad spot, he thought.

"HELLO," he said and began to struggle against the straps that held him down. "It's hot...oh come on, it's getting hot in here!! Let me up...You," he motioned his chin toward a girl in a blue uniform, "lady let me up...please. I'm having trouble breathing here..."

She stopped and stared oddly, as if noticing him strapped there for the first time.

"Oh, thank God," the man said. "Thanks for stopping, honey. I knew you looked like a sweetheart. Now be a dear and untie these straps for me." He gestured with his chin again.

She continued to stare at him and he began to wonder if she understood him.

"Come on, sweetie, you can do it," he said to no avail. Agitated he said, "Oh come on, Where am I and WHO are you people? Why am I strapped to this thing. It's warm. Come on, get me up. My beard itches and..."

A man wearing the same blue uniform suddenly walked up beside the woman. He began to stare too.

"Hey, buddy, you understand me? I don't think that broad," he motioned toward the lady with his chin, "understands  a thing I'm saying and my beard really itc..." he squirmed.

"How charming...what are they," the man suddenly said to the woman.

"Test subjects," she said still staring at him hungrily. "We must find the Great One in the Sky soon before our food resources completely run out. He does look like he could be a meal in himself though."

"This test subject should feel honored," the man replied.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa...what are you two talking about," said the hairy man as he renewed the struggle against his straps. "Ever hear that the Road to h**l is paved with good intentions...cause it is and you guys are making a big mistake. I hate the sky, and as for this Great One... You shouldn't send me there. I'll mess up relations between you people and him for years if you send me there...I lack  something called tact, ya see."

Ignoring his pleas the woman said, "It's almost time. We need to begin," and they began to walk away.

"No, wait! At least scratch my beard please..."

Whatever he was laying on began to grow even warmer.

"No you're making a big mistake. Please...itch it first. NO..."

Someone yelled, "Hasta la vista, baby," and the man's world spun black.

and then the cue words ran out so I don't know what happens.

Answer 4

A CLOSE ENCOUNTER OF THE CELESTIAL KIND

-OR -

AVERY GOES TO PURGATORY

EARTH: Samaritan, Indiana

The Right Reverend Avery M. Portent was often at his pulpit doing what he loved best. Namely, he was scaring the h**l out of the parishoners. Ever since Avery was a little boy, he had been a bully. He stole the younger kids' lunches and constantly pulled mean pranks on the teachers. Home life wasn't any different. He was a terror to hislittle sister and small neighborhood animals learned to avoid him like the plague.

It was no wonder, then, that Avery gravitated to an ecclesiastical position that few questioned and many obeyed. He could carry on in all manner of unseemly ways and get away with it. He could help himself to the collection plate every Sunday and never think twice about feeling guilty. Guilt was for the weak. What did it matter if he stole from the frail and needy? It was a perfect setup. It may not have been exactly moral, but it was mostly legal. In Avery's world, God favored those who favored themselves, and the rest of the world could go to the devil!

**************************************...

THE OUTER REALM: TR 412,896-2B

Snelblot wrinkled his prodigious snout in disgust and snorted. It sounded like a cross between an air horn and a broken saxophone. Fraggedorga looked up from her readout with her third eye, while the other two scanned in opposite directions. It always unnerved Snelblot when she did that because he could never tell if he had her full attention. "What is it, my captain?" she burbled. "OH! That... MAN!! He is a disgusting piece of Borfus slime!" he scowled, shaking with anger. "I've been monitoring hims since he was two planetary rotations of age, and he is incorrigible! Either we must severely modify his behavior, or we will need to abduct him and add him to the deep freeze in the specimen bay!" "But, Snelblot," countered Fraggedorga, "it's already overfull. As it is, we should jettison at least 20% of the current payload." "I know, I know," he replied, shaking his long jowls, "but I cannot tolerate his outrageous behavior another nanoblink!" Fraggedorga wrinkled her kinky brows, thinking. Then, her pale pink eyes lit up. "We should send him to Purgatory for reorientation!" Then, she proceeded to lay out the plan as Snelblot nodded approvingly.

**************************************...

EARTH: The Portent household, September 1st, 1:00a.m.

Avery woke with a start. His fitful sleep had been interrupted by a noise. A very loud THUMP had come from directly overhead. Could something have hit the roof? He looked out his second story bedroom window at the moonless night. Everything was still. Not even a breath of wind stirred in the tree branches. He pulled his head in, turned around, and came face to face with what could only be an angel. He was too startled to speak. "Greetings, Earth... er... I mean, tidings to you, my earthly servant," she murmured, smiling sweetly at him. "I am here to bring you to your reward." Avery jumped. "What?! Am I dead???" The angel looked undecided. "Let's just say that you COULD be," she said enigmatically. "I am here to show you other realms."

**************************************...

ROSWELL, NEW MEXICO: September 1st, 1:01a.m.

The trip was almost instantaneous. It seemed like Avery blinked once and found himself in a rundown little diner out in the middle of nowhere. Even though it was late, a group of customers sat at a table in the corner playing a lively game of poker. "Where am I and WHO are you people!!??" Avery blurted out. They turned around, staring. Avery got the shock of his life. He was looking at people who must be celebrity impersonators. Elvis spoke up. "Welcome to the Purgatory Diner. Best eats this side of the Mississippi. Pull up a chair, mister." Avery felt faint. He looked just like the REAL Elvis. Then a man with an uncanny resemblance to Timothy Leary led him to the soda counter and helped him onto a stool. A squeaky ceiling fan barely stirred the stifling, warm air. "It's getting HOT in here, isn't it?" he asked weakly. "It this the good place or the bad place?" Dr. Leary gave him a sardonic grin. "That depends on who youare. Have you been a GOOD boy, Avery?" he asked. The rest of the group chuckled. "I... I..." stammered Avery. "Uh, well, I fully INTENDED to give the collection money back..." "I see," said Dr. Leary, rubbing his chin. "But you never did, DID YOU AVERY?! The road to h**l is paved with GOOD INTENTIONS!!!" he thundered. Avery shrunk back in terror. "Really, I'm not such a bad guy," he said lamely, "I have some redeeming qualities." Leary looked at him expectantly. "How charming... what are they?"

Avery's face crumpled. "I never thought I'd go to h**l!" he wailed. This brought laughter from the group. "What's so funny?" he demanded, getting angry. "Is that what you think this is?" asked Elvis. "Of course!" snapped Avery. "You're both dead, and we're in some hot, godforsaken place in the Purgatory Diner!" Someone in the back stood up. "Ah, but I am alive," said Arnold Swarzenegger. "How do you explain that?" Now Avery was completely confused. "We are extraterrestrials, and we are helping the people of your planet." "My God!" shouted Avery, eyes wide. "We have aliens in our government?" Arnold smiled. "You need all the help you can get. It's time for me to go now. Hasta La Vista, Baby!!!" He looked at the others. "I'll be back," he said tersely, and stode out the door. The angel (who was really Fraggedorga in disguise) also turned to go. "My work is done," she said simply. "It's time to turn you over to your new mentor. She will reprogram your behavior. Sometimes the males of your species can be soooo pretentious. From now on, you will understand who is REALLY in charge." Poor Avery. The experience had become too much to handle, and as Hillary Clinton walked up to him, he fainted dead away.

THE END

PS: Don't forget to vote. It does give one pause.... ARE THEY OR AREN'T THEY??? We'll never know for sure....

LOL!!!:)