Can you write an amusing story using as many of these as possible?

Question

1. Everybody Says I Love You

2. The Out Of Towners

3. Death Becomes Her

4. Seems Like Old Times

5. Overboard

6.Butterflies Are Free

7.Bird On A Wire

8. The Duchess & The Dirtwater Fox

9. House-sitter

10. Private Benjamin

11. Sugarland Express

12. Protocol

Answer 1

i think you need to do your own work...write your own story

Answer 2

STARKIST WANTS TUNA THAT TASTE GOOD

Fortuna Tuna, daughter of famed Starkist Tuna spokes fish, Charlie, found herself caught in a net aboard the SS Starkist. “Yay,” she cheered to her friend, Luna Tuna. “This is our big chance to impress Starkist that we are tuna with good taste.”

“Yes, Starkist is bound to be impressed by the pearl necklaces we strung all by ourselves,” agreed Luna. “I just wish we had ears so we could have made matching earrings.”

Fortuna had been eyeing The Big Kahuna Tuna from Hawaii while she was talking to Luna. “That big tuna over there is so handsome with that magnificent lei of flowers around his neck,” she thought to herself.  ÃƒÂ¢Ã‚€ÂœHe’s obviously a man with good taste! I haven’t seen him before….I wonder if he is one of THE OUT OF TOWNERS?”

The Big Kahuna overheard Fortuna and Luna talking, and hated to burst their bubble, but felt the girls deserved to know the truth. “I have to hand it to you girls, making all that bling without the ka-ching,” he said admiringly, “but Starkist doesn’t want tuna with good taste, they want tuna that tastes good.”

“Big Kahuna, what are you saying?” asked Fortuna unbelievingly. “That as far as Starkist is concerned, it’s better to taste good than to look good!”

“You got it babe,” confirmed The Big Kahuna. “You’d better believe it! Starkist will say, “DEATH BECOMES HER!!”

“Oh, dear!!” lamented Luna to Fortuna. “It SEEMS LIKE OLD TIMES. This is another fine mess you’ve gotten us into. “It’s not easy being your BFF.”

“I don’t understand!” exclaimed Fortuna, as she flipped her fins quizzically, “What ever do you mean?”

“BEST FRIENDS Forever,“ replied Luna. “I’m speaking of the time you got a job as HOUSE boat SITTER for those Chicken of the Sea folks, and invited me to join you. If it hadn‘t been for Hurricane Katuna blowing us out to sea, we‘d have been drumsticks!”

“Yes, that was a close call,” agreed Fortuna, as she shivered at the thought.  ÃƒÂ¢Ã‚€ÂœWe were nearly BIRD ON A WIRE!” ….. “More like Bird in a Tin!” exclaimed Luna realistically.

“Don’t worry girls,” whispered The Big Kahuna confidentially. “I was surrepticiously watching one of the crew doing something, better left unsaid, in PRIVATE.” …. ‘BENJAMIN,’ I called out to him, for that was his name--making my voice sound just like Morgan Freeman’s, ‘This is God speaking! If you continue to do what you are doing, you won’t go to Heaven!!’”

“That got his attention,” The Big Kahuma continued. ‘Oh, Sir, I promise to never do it again,’ Benjamin answered in a reverent voice.'”

“'My son, I will forgive and forget, if you will do but a small favor for me,' I replied. ‘All of God’s creatures are meant to be free. BUTTERFLIES ARE FREE…. Whales are free….These poor tuna aboard this ship should be set free too.'”

“'Do you see where I am going with this?’ I asked Benjamin. ‘Yes, Sir,’ he replied. ‘You want me to throw the tuna  OVERBOARD.’”

“'Exactly!' I exclaimed officially. 'Do it under cover of darkness, during the SWING SHIFT.’ …. “Aye, Sir!' replied Benjamin. 'Consider it done!'"

“Now help me spread the word to the other tuna,” directed The Big Kahuna to Luna and Fortuna.

“If all goes according to plan, when we are once again swimming free, perhaps we can become members of THE Big Kahuna’s FIRST WIVES CLUB!” exclaimed Fortuna to Luna excitedly, as they headed off to spread the word.  ÃƒÂ¢Ã‚€ÂœBut that’s another story!!”

Answer 3

I entered my favorite watering hole and met an old acquaintance. He was dejected. I asked" Whats up with you?" whereupon he replied,"Everybody says I love you; But they are a bunch of out of towners" I asked"Where is your girlfriend carol jean Duchess?" "Oh," he replied"She died yesterday, you know,Death becomes her, she looked beautiful.""Yeah,"i said,"Seems like old times, my old lady went overboard and got caught shoplifting, I tried to tell her Butterflies are free but she told me she felt like a bird on a wire, trapped you know." My friend admitted that he had caught the duchess & the dirtwater fox having a thing while she was acting as a house sitter for private Benjamin who had to take a trip on the sugarland express, but as far as making reservations, he didn't know the protocol.

Answer 4

Ahhh....All Goldie Hawn movies.

Dodge City, Kansas

Circa 1875

"If Heaven's Full of Catholics, I Would Rather Go To h**l"

Doc Adams was aghast at Miss Kitty's appearance.

"Gracious! What on EARTH happened YOU?"

"It's that d**n 7.Bird On A Wire outside the telegraph office!!

Kill the bast***, Doc !!!"

"Well, uhhhh....I'm not sure what the 12. Protocol is for something of this nature." Doc rubbed his face, as is his wont.

"Oh, for crying out loud!! Then I'll ask Matt to do it! That is....if he's not too busy with "The 11. Sugarland Express !!"

Doc laughed, knowing she was referring to Matt's new girlfriend, Sunshine.

They went to Matt's office.

"What? Kill a bird?! Kitty....You've gone 5. Overboard."

"ME?!!! What about the way you've been behaving ever since Sunshine MacMoron came to town?!!"

Before Matt could reply, Sunshine walked in with Festus

"Well,well,well...... If it isn't 8. The Duchess & The Dirtwater Fox !!"

Sunshine shrugged her shoulders and ignored her." Matt?   Some soldiers are down at The Bull's Head. They gave poor Festus a rough going-over!"

"Matthew....I was trying to break up a ruuuukus when one of them soldier boys....think it was 10. Private Benjamin, done bopped me on the head with a bottle."

Kitty grabbed him by the collar."What kind of booze was it?!

Someone's been getting into my inventory! Two boxes of Butterfly Brandy are missing!!"

While Doc checked Festus' head, Matt,Sunshine and a very angry Miss Kitty went over to The Bull's Head....A disreputable saloon and the Long Branch's chief competition.

Matt ,with hands of hip....... "Alright! Which of you men hurt my deputy?"

Silence......... Except for Sunshine.

"It was HIM, Matt !! " Sunshine marched over to 2. The Out Of Towners from Ft. Dodge and pulled her pistol. "Festus is my friend, you miserable excuse of a ........"

"SUNSHINE!!" Matt made her holster her gun.

Meanwhile, Kitty went over to the bar. "Gil Hardison!! I know d**n well you're stealing my Butterfly booze!!"

Gil pushed his bowl of soup to one side. "Whyyyyyy, Miss Kitty.....I thought 6.Butterflies Are Free." The fellows at his table all laughed.

"Listen up, pondscum!!!"

Before Matt could jump in, Kitty shoved Gil out of her way so she could check out his back room. Gil tried to stop her. Kitty ended up on the floor with the soup bowl on her head!

"Ummmm, Marshal....(BONUS)There's a girl in my soup!!"

Even Matt had to laugh as Kitty slowly removed the bowl from her head, six noodles from her earlobe and chunks of meat from the inside of her bodice.

"I have entered h**l. I have died and entered h**l," muttered Kitty as she said a prayer and "crossed" herself.

One of the drunks in the saloon who always distained the Catholic faith and Miss Kitty, in particular wrote something quickly on a piece of paper  and held it up. ( See credits)

Gil barked: "She's a good Christian woman, you d**n drunk!!! "

Then he turned to his friends. "Well.... all I gotta say is....3. Death Becomes Her. "

He looked at Kitty. "Miss Russell? Even with my Prairie Dog Special covering you, you're the dang purdiest woman I've ever seen! 1. Everybody Says I Love You. You're the only one who hasn't caught on, you know."

He tried to kiss her. Matt gave him (BONUS) Five the Hard Way, across the mouth.

Kitty looked deeply into Matt's eyes. "Ohhhhh, Matt. (BONUS) Seems Like Old Times."

Sunshine walked right up to her, a cold stare on her usual smiling face. " Yo!  (BONUS) Cactus Flower !"

Before any (BONUS) Foul Play could erupt, Matt stepped in.

" Kitty? You better (BONUS) Shampoo your hair. SUNSHINE?" He smiled. " You come with me!"

As Matt and Sunshine headed back to his office, Kitty screamed . "SUNSHINE MACGILLICUTTY!!! You're a no-good idiot!! And I bet you're a LOUSY LOVER!!!!"

Sunshine just laughed...."(BONUS) You Can't Say That About Me....... and Neither Can I ."

Matt fired back...."And neither can ► I ◄ !!!" (Empahsize this word as you read.)

Kitty dropped her chin to her chest." I have indeed entered h**l."

CAST OF CHARACTERS:

Kitty ..... http://www.flickr.com/photos/56354775@N0...

Matt ..... http://www.fiftiesweb.com/tv/james-arnes...

Sunshine.... http://www.flickr.com/photos/heathergree...

Gil and his friends ...... http://www.picturehistory.com/images/pro...

Drunk at the bar.... http://www.flickr.com/photos/scuzzi/2146...