Can your neighbor's child badly effect yours?

Question

Hello, Help!

My neighbor has a little girl who is a mean spirited child. My daughter thinks she hung the moon. I can't see why, because she is so mean to her. I am afraid that the mean behavior is going to rub off on my daughter.

The problem is, they live next door. She always comes over and asks to eat our food. Isn't that strange? I have caught her on countless lies. I just don't know how to put a stop to her coming over. My daughter is 5 and she is 7.

Her parents are educated also, but they never do anything with her. I think she is lacking love and attention so I feel bad for her. But at the same time, I can only do so much.

Do you think my daughter is going to start acting like her if she spends too much time with her?

Answer 1

yes i have 3 kids and have been through this sooooooooooooo many times stop it now before its too late you will regret it ifound when other children visit my home i treat them like neices and nefews i lay the rules down to start with and tell them the consequences and if their parrents dont like it i tell them to keep their child home chances are she comes to your house to get that disipline that she lacks at home some children do crave that good luck

Answer 2

Yes it's entirely possible that your daughter could start behaving the same way.

Answer 3

well always monitor their play time. if she comes to your house then she follows your rules Just cause shes not your kid doesn't mean you cant discipline her to. Like if she lies to you or acts up in your house then say I'm sorry but i don't tolerate that kind of behavior here and ground her from coming over for a week. She will learn. Also remind your daughter of how luck she is to have a family that loves her so much.

I use to have the same problem with a little boy that lived right next to us. He would be outside the house when we come home from school. But i told him that my kids were not allowed to play until their homework was done. Then he started wanting to eat dinner with us. He would say" i sure am hungry, there isn't anyone at my house and my mom wont be home until really late." so i fed him a couple of time. Then he wanted to spend the night. He started to call me mom and my husband dad, That freaked us out. I would have to constantly tell him that he couldn't call us that. He finally moved. But i know what you mean i just felt bad for the kid.

but tough love is what your neighbor Friend needs. She obviously is not getting it a home. And if she goes and tells her parents that you grounded her from you house or you got mad at her for some reason, then they wont allow her to  go to your house anymore. GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 4

I would be concerned that she will pick on some bad behavior from her for sure.  Or that your daughter is not learning how to tell someone no when they are treating her badly.  As she gets farther along in school, she will need to know that even more.  Try to teach your daughter some techniques that she can use when the girl is being mean.  First, you may have to really listen when the neighbor is over so you can hear exactly how she is being mean.  Then, you can use those real examples with your daughter to teach her.  I would also rather have the neighbor at my house so I can listen to see what is happening and then step in when needed.  Don't be afraid to tell the neighbor girl that she is not being nice or that kind of talk isn't allowed in your house.  It doesn't sound like her parents are doing anything about it in their house, so I wouldn't want my daughter over there.

Answer 5

Your daughter may start acting like her, if you let her.   Ultimately, though, you need to impress upon your daughter that she, alone, is responsible for her own choices.   She's going to be exposed to all kinds of people over the course of her life.  You can't shield her from all outside influences.  

So, if you see her behavior changing, address the behavior itself, not the perceived source.  And, hold her responsible for her choices.  

And, while your neighbor is in your home, do the same for her, too.  

Who knows, maybe, instead of your daughter being influenced by her for the worse - you and your daughter may influence your neighbor, for the better.

Answer 6

I definatly think that your daughter will pick up on the things she does.  My sister in law is 10 and my oldest is 4 and he does so many of the bad things she does.  I would first talk to the child and explain how things work at your house.  Like no lieing....stuff like that, and if she doesn't go by your rules she won't be allowed to come over.  i know it sounds a little harsh, but it may be good for her.  Or you could try talking to the parents.

Answer 7

My four year old daughter is in a very similar situation and, unfortunately our neighbor is also a relative.  They play outside together very often and the neighbor will try to coax my child into doing things she knows she is not supposed to do - i.e. cross the road with her, play in areas that are out of my eyesight, etc.  The neighbor is also very defiant and when my child comes home from playing with her she tries the defiance with me and my husband.  Just the other day I told my child she was not allowed to cross the road for any reason EVER and they neighbor slyly whispered in her ear trying to coax her to disobey me.  My husband was witness to this and shouted at the neighbor - "our child will obey us and if you try to get her to do otherwise you will not play together anymore!"  That has dissuaded her from any further activity, so far.  Yes, the young, defiant friend can result in some real danger for your child.  Nip it in the bud, now.  The playmates don't truly grasp the danger of their actions.  It would be a shame if the two couldn't play together anymore - because they wouldn't really understand that, either.  Be stern and let your neighbor know the rules set for your child - "we aren't ugly to one another" and "we don't tell stories".  If she doesn't comply she can go home.