Whoa! this really has happened and I'm in the most gigantic and dark mess which completely leaves me hopeless and gloomy. Here it goes,
I wasted a year till I decided what I really wanted out of my life and I was pretty sure about what I should go in for regarding my career until I was accepted at a local college, after the first semester I discovered I was failing in half of the modules. I was devastated and it struck me that maybe I wasn't giving in all that much of an effort which is actually required and undeniably I didn't give it the much needed time at all. While I was in my second semester I tried making it better but I still ended up with Hideous grades allowing me to think I still didn't give a high enough shot. Finally, during my third semester I had to sign off on the probation form but I still enrolled for a few courses and this time I really gave it all that I might have according to my potential. Horrible grades and the probation dilemma followed me through again and I was unable to fulfill the gpa requirement so I was kicked out. A sudden rush of hopelessness and fear ran inside of me with thoughts like what will my mum think and all the people I've been telling that I was doing great at college along with those relatives who still think I'm going to graduate from there one day or the other. They all would certainly think of me as the loserville's best resident who bragged so much about going to college after wasting a year and then turning out to be such a sheer dissapointment. Thankfully, I've discovered what my major should be now keeping in mind what Im good at but that's where the major hurdle knocks in, which is of a proper institution for journalism or perhaps english literature, the best University that provides this degree in my city is reallllyyyyyyy far offff and my mom would never be supportive of that and I don't think I will have the means to. I applied at many universities abroad but that dream went down the drain perfectly just when a refusal for us girls in Pakistan to emerge as people who can fly to foreign lands and gain experience and excel in their desired spheres of study. Im reallyyy depressed since the past few months considering what will happen because I haven't shared about this difficult era in my life with anyone because of the harsh truth that most of them will never be able to understand. It has started to eat me up to the core from the inside and I will go crazy if I don't do something about this. I hope someone out there can come up with a life-saving advice because trust me if it helps it really would be one. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
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