Caseworker said she has 3 boys to place with us for adoption.?

Question

Basically, the case worker has told us (Husband and I) that she has 3 boys - 2,4,&6 that she wants to place for adoption with us. I am scared to death since we have no children now and how do I go from zero to 3, instantly.

Answer 1

make sure you have the supports there for you....it will be hard at first, this is something new for you and your husband and there will be strain on your relationship too, but in the long run it will be wonderful.....aswell to have all 3 boys 2 yrs apart is nice too....we have adopted 4 and the ages now are 4,3,and 2 two yr olds....we have had them since birth....i wish you all the luck in the world and if you want to contact me please do...i can give you more info.....

Answer 2

On the one hand it's a wonderful opportunity for you but on the other hand I have to stop and think about a worker that would consider taking a family from 0 to 3 overnight.  That can be a lot of stress and I would urge you to think it through and not get caught up in the moment.  I'm not saying not to do it because only you can judge what is right for you but I'm suggesting that you take some time and think it through objectively because once you go there you can't go back without doing harm to your relationship AND the lives of the children.  God bless and good luck.

Answer 3

You will do fine ! Be ready to be superheros with lots of energy ! Get them into sports thru the community centers like my son and his wife did ! Do lots of family activities to keep busy ! God bless you

Answer 4

This is a really big decision.  It will be hard.  Really hard.  But sometimes the hardest things in life are the most worthwhile.

I have three girls very close in age.  Life with them has been crazy and wonderful-hard and rewarding. Never would I change a thing.

We just had two more kids added to our brood.  There are times when I question if I can handle it all. These new kids have so many issues and I'm not used to life with five.  But again, in spite of how hard it is I wouldn't change a thing.  I muddle through each day with piles of laundry, appts., homework, drama, chaos.  But there  love to go around and we are a family.

Your life will be FULL.  But you will change these lives forever and in time you won't imagine your life any other way.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Yikes!  Zero to three will be quite an adjustment!

But on the positive side, the boys are siblings and already used to playing with and entertaining each other.   You'll have to get used to their little quirks and habits, and the way they behave with each other.....is there sibling rivalry?  Do they hit each other?

Also, it will be important that you try to spend some time alone with each child every day, because they very much need individual attention.  The two and four-year-olds probably still nap.  Perhaps they could take alternating naps while the oldest is at school, so you have an hour or more with each of them alone.   Let the oldest go to bed later than the other two, so you have some time alone with him as well.

The biggest adjustment you'll have to make is that your house will go from spotless to......well, NOT spotless.  Don't stress over it.  The kids are more important.  Get used to toys in places they shouldn't be, toilet seats left up, and sticky fingerprints in various undesirable places.  And at the same time, get used to a lot of love and fun and joy!

Answer 6

You'll get used to it quickly because you'll be so caught up with the thought of having 3 children that are going to be running in different directions and you following them. Good luck and congrats!

Answer 7

My only suggestion would be have a good support system in place.  Friends, family, a few good phone numbers (when my sister was a new mom, she had the numbers for advice lines and poison control, among others, posted by the phone).  If you have a good support system, and people who don't mind answering 100 questions a day, you should be all right.  That's my plan, anyway!  LOL

ETA:  I really like 4littlemonkeys' answer.  :-)

Answer 8

I had a 2 and 5 year old come to us overnight. It was so hard. I made tons of mistakes that I regret so much out of ignorance from being inexperienced. For a year I wondered "what did I get myself into" and actually sorta hoped that their mom got her stuff together and came to get them.

Now those kids are 10 and 12 and are my sons. Things are pretty smooth and I love them to pieces. Really wish I could have started with a baby or just 1 toddler. The systerm is so hard to adopt through though. You are very lucky to be chosen for a such a young sib set. It is next to impooible to get a young single child even with moderate special needs. It would be a shame to turn them down. Good luck. You are going to be tired! LOL

Answer 9

if u cant handle it dont take it

Answer 10

they are young so as they grow so will you. dont be afraid. Day to day is basically: wake up make breakfast for them, dress them, break apart a fight (comfort the crying one) send the sixe year old to skool . let them watch tv or play outside with them make lunch pick up 6 yr old help w/ homeowrk while others play with legos or power rangers etc. make dinner take them to any extra circual stuff ( tbowl, flagfoot ball, hockey)dinner baths while others watch a dvd. then put the kids in pjs bed time story then sleep. let the 2 yr old slepp with you and th other 2 share a room.

Answer 11

See if you can go to a daycare, and volunteer for an hour (take your homestudy with you, that way it will show that you've gone through the criminal checks, etc.).  It takes organization.  I'd color code the kid's clothes by getting a basket for each one, taking a permanent marker and 2 year old gets blue, 4 year old red, and 6 year old green.  I'd love to be approved for them (we're in process).  I worked in a daycare and had ten 2year olds at a time by myself.  The six year old will be in school for the first few weeks, the 2 year old is most likely sleeping through the night, and if he isn't potty trained, he most likely will be this summer.  It will be an adjustment, and see if your caseworker will let you talk with the foster parents to find out their schedule, such as meal times, how she organizes laundry, and car seat placement.  Yes, it's a big responsibility, and yes, it can seem overwhelming, but you can make a big difference in these little guy's lives.  You will get through it!  Good luck!   For the first few weeks, eat off paper plates, get some easy freezer to oven dinners, like pizza, lasagne, salsibury steaks, etc., until you get used to the routine.

Answer 12

We just adopted three children ages 4,5,6, two boys one girl.  It is crazy I will tell you that, our only saving grace was that we were previous foster parents and knew the score.  I would say that what a gift they are, but get to know ALL of their needs and then think and imagine what it will be like to parent them.  With three children of older ages, we knew what we were getting into and did our research.  Sometimes more is actually better as the kids come in with their own bond and don't feel completely separated from their family.

What is most important is someone to stay home with them for at least a year.  My husband is staying home with the kdis, and they are having a blast.  ONe of our children had more "special" needs, and my hsuband ensured that he could handle it before he agreed to it.  Education, education, education!

Be prepared for intesne sibling rivalry and read all about that.

If you say yes, what a blessing really to your family.  If you say no, then the right child/children will come along.

Best of luck!  Off to run after one of the kids, and loving it!

Added:  Oh and be prepared for early mornings!  (it is early morning right now)

Answer 13

I have four kids ages 1,2,3&10. We went from one to four in 10 months.         Don't worry three is easyer than one.

Come up with a scedule and parenting plan with your husband and follow it. Being consistant will let your boys know what to expect and show no favortisim.

Try to find time alone with each boy (including your husband) each day like story time before bed.

Flexability and a sence of hummor word wonders.

Answer 14

Consistency.....Consistency.....

Consistency!!!

Depending on their life up to this point they may have never had any consistency so it may be a struggle at first. Please extend even MORE patience to foster children then you would expect from a niece or nephew. These kids will need some time to adjust to your lifestyle. Please remember that you need to make concessions. Life in your household will change overnight.

Talk to hubby about being consistent in what you both expect from these kids. Understand that why they are a sibling group each will have their own individual personality. Look to the six year old to fill you in on the other twos likes and dislikes. The six year old being your alli will help everyone make a smooth transmission. He may have experienced a allot in his little life so it may take some time for him to trust you....give him his space when he needs it.

Now this suggestion may be silly but my friend swears it helps. Assign each child just one little chore...even the little one. Make it simple like helping set the dinner table for the older two. It really makes them feel apart of the family and gives them a sense of how important they are. Do not under estimate the pride a child feels in the simplest of accomplishments......Positive reinforcement.

Answer 15

You'll be just fine......it's instinct and it'll just "kick in" when the boys get there.....good luck and CONGRATULATIONS!!