Cash at a wedding????

Question

I don't have much experience with going to weddings. So I'm not certain about the etiquette in attending weddings. I've been told that some people expect cash to help them pay for the wedding. Is that true? What if the person already had a gift registry, and I already got her something from the registry, do people STILL give her money even though I already bought a gift for her????

Answer 1

you only have to do 1 or the other...cash or a gift. don't sweat it.

Answer 2

You most likely will not be EXPECTED to give cash at a wedding, however, some people do have a money tree where people can give cash gifts.  Some people will give one or the other, many people will do both, so you are not obligated to put money on the tree, especially if you bring a gift.  The money tree is usually started by the bride or grooms parents, best man, maid of honor, etc., NOT by the bride/groom themselves.  

If it is a case where the couple is older or has been living together for some time, they may prefer money to gifts, since they usually already have everything they need to start a home.

Answer 3

In this region (CHicago) people give gifts off the registry for the shower and cash gifts at the wedding.  Honestly, yes, people expect it this way.

Answer 4

Some people will give a tangible gift like china, or wine glasses or whatever and others will give money as their gift. You're fine.

Answer 5

Hi.  The first poster is exactly right.

You either get the couple something from their registry, OR you give them a card with cash or a check.  You don't do both.  

Answer 6

Usually the bride gets most of the stuff off her registries at the bridal shower, or may be purchased and sent to her home prior to the wedding date.  Often people will give cash in a card at the wedding so they aren't empty handed but don't have to lug a big package around, though many people give a physical gift at the wedding as well.

The money isn't used to pay for the wedding per say, as most wedding costs have to be paid prior to the wedding date.  Some people might use the money they get as gifts to pay off credit cards that were used to pay for wedding related items.  Others may put the money toward furniture, home improvements, or items off their registries that they didn't receive.  Others may use some of the money to pay off the cost of extra activities on the honeymoon, especially if they do extra things that aren't part of an all-inclusive vacation.  Others may invest the money.

Anyway, I think my point is that you can do whatever you feel comfortable with.  If you're invited to the bridal shower, give something off the registry, and for the wedding either give cash or a gift card to one of the stores where she's registered - you don't have to go overboard, do what you can afford, it's the thought that counts and she'll appreciate whatever you give her.  If you are only attending the wedding, you can do a registry gift, a monetary gift, or a mixture.  How close you are to the couple determines how much to spend.  Unless it's a really close friend or family, don't spend more than $50.

Answer 7

No, you do not have to give a gift AND money. The idea is that you have the option of giving a gift OR money. Some couples prefer money because they already have a lot of housewares, but since this couple registered for items, it's perfectly appropriate to send them something from their registry. There is no need to give them an additional gift of cash.

Answer 8

Traditionally, a gift is sent to the home of the bride before the wedding. They shouldn't be expecting or asking for any specific sort of gift. You can choose to send something off the registry, a gift you choose on your own or (eh) a cash gift. But do send it before the wedding. This alleviates loss of gifts, stolen gifts or envelopes that get separated from a package. Plus, the couple won;t have to lug it al back home.

Answer 9

the gift will do. don't worry about giving both. they are thankful for either

Answer 10

you shouldn't feel confused about this. do what you can afford. a gift card will be cool. and usually when there is a  gift registry the system will tell you if someone else bought it.so i guess either give them the gift a gift card or money. not all three.

Answer 11

only 1 or the other! Some people don't do neither!

Answer 12

I have done one or the other, never both.  It is not expected and if the couple expect it.....that's tacky and very improper.  

Answer 13

If they have a registry, chances are they want you to use it. Nice of them to take the guests feelings into consideration, and have some presents picked out for those guests that want to shop and wrap.

But you are right, a lot of couples' want the cash.

No, whatever you bought is fine, you do not have to get something else, or give money in addition to your present. .  

Answer 14

Some couples do a dollar dance. I usually don't participate because I think it's pretty tacky, but I paid $1 to dance with my little brother at his wedding because it was the only chance I had to talk to him that day.