Cash bar at a wedding?

Question

My fiance and I won't be of drinking age at our wedding!Our budget is low already and alcohol through the banquet room we will be having our reception at is VERY expensive. Is it okay (not cheap looking) to do a cash bar for those who need a drink?

Answer 1

of course.  if you're having a cocktail hour before the reception starts, that's usually open bar, but once dinner is served, everyone pays for their own drinks.

Answer 2

I think it is fine to have a cash bar. To start with, you putting money behind the bar is IN THEORY you buying alcohol, which is illegal. Therefore, I would suggest either a cash bar or no alcohol at all.

People may say its tacky to ask people to pay for their own drinks, but if you are not yet of age, you don't want people getting wasted around you, do you?? So, if you have a cash bar, the people that want to have a drink can do (its not like one or two beverages cost that much anyway!) and those that matter will happily buy drinks. Anyone who winges afterwards about having to pay aren't that good friends anyway!

Go for it, I think it's an ideal solution to your problem!

Answer 3

Well, it is a little tacky to have wedding guests pay for there own drinks, What you can do is set a time for the free drinks. For example... say your wedding reception starts at 3:00. you can have a sign at the bar saying..."Open bar till 5:00" and after that it would be cash bar.

Or you can say wine and beer free and cash bar for mixed drinks.

Below is info from wedding etiquette's i had looked up. Just as I Thought.

Answer 4

Well, in my opinion, inviting people to a party and asking them to pay for things is always slightly tacky, however, it is better to have something available for those that want drinks than nothing.  Ask the banquet hall if they can make a set amount of beer and/or wine available for a lesser price if you want to look into cheaper options.

Answer 5

Etiquette-wise cash bars are a no-no.  One should not invite people and expect them to furnish their own refreshments.

That said, people do it all the time. Will people gossip about how cheap it looks?  Maybe, but these are the same people who would gossip about Anything.  I wouldn't worry about looking tacky.  Your guests know you are young and probably don't have much money.  Hopefully they won't concentrate on the lack of free alcohol because they'll be busy celebrating your happiness!!

Just make sure people know ahead of time it is a cash bar so they remember their wallets.

Answer 6

My daughter is getting married in November and we have struggled with this too.  Our issue isn't necessarily the money, but the fact that they are both 20 and most of their friends are underage too.  We considered doing a beer and wine bar (which reduces the alcohol price by about 50%) or just putting carafes of wine on each table. Another option would be to just offer champagne at every table. We decided to go with the full bar, and we will leave it to the reception hall to watch the underager's.  

Answer 7

If it is a definitely accepted and even expected practice in your area and circle of friends, you can do it.  

However, I would make sure everyone knows about it.  I would put it along with the reception information included in the invitation envelope.  Word it like this:

Reception immediately following

Buffet dinner, tea, and coffee to be served.

Non-host bar available

Answer 8

I am also on a small budget.  I suggest offering wine, beer and pitchers of sangria.  A cash bar might be considered tacky.  After all most people have to spend money just to go to your wedding on their clothes and their gift/cash given to you.

Answer 9

I think a cash bar is fine... I'm not sure where everyone is from in these answers but i am from ontario and the usual thing to do here is to have a toonie bar for a couple hours or during cocktails and then have wine on the tables for dinner and the a cash bar after dinner. hope this helps and congrats

Answer 10

Honestly, I think it would be better to just have no alcohol at all.  People will accept it because they know you aren't legal drinking age yet and probably wont make such a big deal of it.  I just feel that if you invite people to an event hosted by you then you should be taking care of the cost of things.  I don't think its right to invite people to a dinner then expect them to pay for their drinks.  you wouldnt slip a bill under someones plate for their glass of wine in your home would you?  well a wedding is a much classier event and I wouldnt want to charge anyone anything either.  Especially if they are bringing a gift and taking time from their schedual to be there.  I know weddings canget costly.  been there done that when I was 19, but I actually skipped out on other things to be able to serve alcohol at my wedding.  My choice and I'm not telling you to do the same, but I wouldnt serve any if you have to charge.

edit: just so some other posters know...I too and from Ontario and I would never have onsidered a cash bar and have never heard of a toonie bar.  None of my friends are doing cash bar either.

Answer 11

It is considered tacky and people are expecting to drink for free!

Why don't you try and find out of your parents or his can pay for the bar for a couple of hours?

Answer 12

When I go to weddings I NEVER expect an open bar.  If I want to drink why should someone else have to pay for it?  Of course, I am not a big drinker anyway.   As long as the non-alcoholic drinks are included, no problem.

Answer 13

It is cheap-looking to have a cash bar. There's just no way around that. You can still have one, though, and I understand why you might want to. You don't want to tell people they can't drink, but you still can't pay for them to do it. With a cash bar, some people will appreciate being able to drink at all, even spending their own money, and some people will be upset that they came all the way to a wedding and aren't even provided with some booze. You can't please everyone, and you will not be able to. If you make sure people know when they are invited that they will have to pay for their own drinks, you might avert some problems. If your parents aren't hosting the wedding, and you're not even legal drinking age, it would actually be unreasonable for people to expect a host bar anyway, so if people do end up complaining, just ignore them.

What I would do, though, if you can, is provide everyone with one drink, probably a glass of champagne.

Answer 14

A cash bar at a wedding reception is not a good idea.  Never invite someone, expect them to bring a gift, and pay for their own drinks.  Talk with you reception site and see what kind of packages are available.  Maybe only have an open bar during cocktail hour.  You can also serve only certain levels of liquor, which is what we did at my wedding.  Or place a few bottles of champaign or wine on the dinner tables.  Or do non-alcoholic beverages  - there's nothing wrong serving no alcohol.  

Answer 15

Thats fine cause you all are not of age anyway.I'd do it.

Answer 16

I have been to 7 weddings in the past 2 yrs and not one of them had a cash bar, and NO ONE seemed to mind.  I would never expect to pay for non-alcoholic beverages, but I would also never expect for someone else to pay for my alcoholic drinks.  They are providing me with a meal, coffee, water, soda, cake, etc.  that's enough.

As for those that will say... "you wouldn't invite someone to your home and expect them to bring there own drinks would you?"  my answer is... YES I would!  If they wanted something other than what I was offering, which in your case is alcohol, I would certainly expect them to provide thier own.

Good luck and congrats!

Answer 17

Don't listen to all those haters, I swear some people are so judgemental on Y/A!  I wouldn't have invited judgemental old stick in the muds like them to my wedding anyway.  People are invited to your wedding to share in your special day, not enjoy free booze!  It is not your responsibility to pay for your guests to get wasted.  

You have two choices: cash bar or no alcohol at all.  Poll your guests and see which option they would prefer.

Answer 18

I had a cash bar at my wedding.  We couldn't afford to spend money on alcohol.  What we did was offer refreshments before the ceremony and had appetizers (bacon wrapped scallops, chicken satay etc.) just before the reception.  Everyone had access to the reception room while my hubby and I took pics so it's not like they had nothing to drink.  We offered punch, soda, tea, coffee and water.

One way to keep the cost down is to offer a signature drink and no other alcoholic beverage.  This way you can control how much money is spent on alcohol.  I wouldn't do into debt over the reception.  Look at your budget and if you can't afford alcohol then so be it.  I've attended weddings with cash bars or those with no alcohol whatsoever and I thought nothing of it.  People don't need alcohol.

Answer 19

I think it's tacky to have a cash bar.  Since you aren't of drinking age anyways I'd just skip the alcohol all together.  No one should suffer to do without it for a few hours at a wedding reception.  I"m sure if it's not in your budget and anyone complains then it is him/her being rude not you.  

Answer 20

Whatever you do, DO NOT have a cash bar!  It is the top thing guests hate at weddings, having to shell out for their own drinks.  Would you host a party at your house and make people pay for alcohol?

If your budget is low, why are you having your wedding at a very expensive hall to begin with?  At the very least, you can ask the hall if you are allowed to bring your own, and have one of your older family members assist you with buying red wine, white wine, beer, and tons of champagne.  So at the very least, you can put some bottles in a chilled ice bucket on every table, just without hard alcohol.

Congratulations and good luck!

Answer 21

I find most people on here say that cash bars are tacky, rude, etc.

I think it depends largely on where you are located.  Where I live, host bars are pretty much unheard of.  Free alcohol is limited to the toasts, and sometimes not even that.  I have been to only two weddings where there was an open bar for the first hour.  That in and of itself was a rare occasion, if only for an hour.  Do you know at both weddings people got trays of drinks for themselves.  Not to share, but for themselves.  

If you've never seen a cash bar, I would strongly advise against it.  If it's common in your area, go for it.

Answer 22

IMO, cash bar is not an option. You are inviting guests to an event at which you are the hostess. You don't invite someone to an affair, then make them pay for that affair. If I were in your shoes, I'd have champagne and sparking cider available for a toast, then soft drinks for the remainder.

Answer 23

Don't mean to be s****., but cash bars are tacky and cheeseball......If you are tight on money, plus your underage, I would do open bar for at least 2 hours, then change it to cash bar. See if your parents can help you.....

Answer 24

It depends where you live.  You will get a lot of people answering this by saying "no it's tacky" well maybe where they come from it's tacky but in some places it isn't.  Have you heard of this being done before in your family?  or even just in the area you live?  If not, ask the reception hall (or catering company etc) how often they do these, if the cringe and say never you may want to steer clear of it.  If they don't seemed shocked at all go for it!  even if it isn't common in the area take your family into consideration.  Would they find it rude or not think twice?

We were going to do a cash bar because....well 95% of people are here do, but we found some extra money in the budget and are splurging for the open bar (however, we'll both be drinking that night)

Good luck hun! I hope that made sense.  If it didn't...let me know I'll try and reword it.

EDIT: check with your hall but if you are underage it may be illegal for them to let you have an open bar.  Techinically you are then buying alcohol, whether it's for you or not it is illegal for you to purchase.  You may have no choice but to go cash.

EDIT: to people saying "you don't invite them over and expect them to pay at your house" d**n RIGHT I DO! when someone comes over they bring their own booze or the don't drink.  I'm not paying to get my friends wasted all the time!

Answer 25

perfectly fine!!  best of luck to you both