Cash bar for hard alcohol or not at all?

Question

The place where we are having our reception has an option for the bar. We can either have just wine and beer, full bar, or cash bar. We did want to pay for something so we are going with the beer and wine since our crowd would probably drink us into debt if we did a full bar(mil's friends know how to drink). Now, we could have wine and beer and display hard alcohol for purchase by the guests. I guess like a half-cash bar. Would that be considered tacky to only pay for beer and wine and guests have to pay for the hard stuff or should we just not have the option of buying hard alcohol and do away with it? I'm sure some guests would bring their own hard alcohol if we tell them we're only paying for beer and wine and not be offended but some might be offended if they show up not knowing the situation and have to pay for hard alcohol since this is their drink of choice if it's an option.

Answer 1

Yes a half cash bar would be tacky. Its all about you being a HOST. What a good host does is, provide the very best they can reasonably afford for their guests. If they can afford soda only, so be it-- but at least they are treating their guests to it.

You are offering wine and beer, and remember alcohol is not required at weddings (I dont know why people think it is). So you are providing well for your guests to have a fun time, and I think you should leave it at that.  

Answer 2

If you can, avoid the cash bar all together. The wine and beer is good on it's own.

If you have the money, why not make 1 specialty drink and have that be the only hard alcohal, and give people a ticket in their invitation or at the door so they only get 1 if they want to try it. Otherwise, people should be happy with just wine and beer, and if they aren't, oh well, it isn't their wedding!

Answer 3

I think your fine with just beer and wine being served.  That way there is an option to drink, nobody is expected to pay for their own drinks and and you avoid the trouble hard liquor can cause.  At my wedding we had beer, wine, vodka, rum and rye.  Mostly, its was the beer that got drank, a bit of wine and a few mixed drinks, but everyone said they would have been happy with just the beer and wine.

Answer 4

It is a very common practice to pay for beer and wine and have hard liquor available as a cash bar. Not tacky at all. I think it IS tacky for your guests to bring their own alcohol, though.  

What my husband and I did was we paid for a set a amount of hard liquor up front and chose three mixed drinks that were served as passed drinks by waiters. It was a more economical choice for us. We also had beer and wine, that way people had several choices, but did not have the option of running us up a $1000 bar bill. Not sure all reception halls have that option, but you could ask.

Seriously, not everyone can afford an extra $10 a head either! Do not feel bad about staying within your budget. My husband and I paid entirely for our own wedding, and I do not think anyone EXPECTED an open bar or thought it was remotely tacky that that had to pay cash for shots of top shelf liquor.

Answer 5

If this is a traditional evening wedding, you need a full bar.  DO NOT ask guests to pay for drinks.  After all they are bringing you gifts right?  A daytime wedding reception is ok for cash bar.  

I am not even a drinker, but would think you cheaped out if I was attending.  

Answer 6

Either pay or don’t offer it. I would just spread the word that there will only be beer & wine. I went to a wedding last year that had beer only, and cash for everything else. That irritated just a few of us, and we ended up ducking out to visit the grocery store to get our own.

Answer 7

As a guest, I would rather have something rather than nothing.  I would go with the beer and wine option and let guests pay for the mixed drinks if that's what they choose to drink.

Answer 8

I think that's totally fine. I only think it's tacky if it's ALL a cash bar, but as long as you pay for the beer and wine (and don't forget the champagne toast), that should make your guests happy.

Does your venue not have a bar package? Most venues I've worked with (as well as the one where we're having our wedding) charges a flat fee for open bar (price varies by quality of liquor). Like, for example, the house liquor was included in our dinner package, but for top shelf, we added an extra $6 a head.  

Answer 9

I think it's a good idea to display the hard alcohol there so guests have the option. Some people don't like beer or wine, so this would be beneficial to them. Just because you're not paying for it doesn't mean they should be denied it altogether. Besides if they bring their own bottle, won't they have had to pay for it?  

Answer 10

Can you split the difference?

Say, if you do the beer and wine option, plus go shopping and bring a handle-sized bottle of most hard alcohol (i.e., one vodka, one rum, one tequila, one gin and one whiskey), then when or if those run out before the party's over, the guests can go get more themselves. I'm sure if they're drinking that heavily, they can take a collection and send someone out on a liquor run.

Answer 11

I think your "half-cash" idea is just fine.

You are providing what you can for your guests, but if their preference is something else they at least have the option of getting it themselves.

Answer 12

I think it's tackey to have your guests pay for any alcohol at all. Personal point of view.  

Answer 13

I think that's confusing.  Just go with beer and wine.  People will be happy for free booze however it comes, trust me.

Answer 14

Yuck, ignore the people who want to make you feel tacky for not having enough money to pay for a full bar.

I have literally never been to a wedding with an open bar. It has always been cash bar, and no one ever complains about it. Your guests know weddings are expensive to put on, and if they truly care about you and your hubby-to-be, they won't want you going into debt at the start of your lives together just so they can get trashed for a night.

Do what you're doing...soft bar with the option for the hard stuff. :)

Answer 15

IMHO, if you can't afford it, you can't afford it. In that case go with the cash bar. Going half way IS cheap and tacky. BTW, I've never seen a place that offers a cash bar option AND will allow guests to BYO. But, please try to supply enough bubbly for a toast, that would be tacky if a toast was offered and everyone had to buy it.

Answer 16

I think that it's a great idea to just provide beer and wine but to have liquor available. People definitely understand why beer/wine would be a free option but free flowing liquor wouldn't be. To be honest, I would be happy that you were providing more than just a glass of wine and a glass of champagne (which seems to be standard).

Thought though, if you're not providing champagne with the meal I recommend you make that an additional option for the open bar. I went to a wedding that only provided champagne for the head table and I was a little offended that I had to go buy my own to have something to toast with.  

Answer 17

We did the open bar beer and wine and people could purchase mixed drinks if they wanted. Honestly open bar around my area is VERY rare so people were very happy about the free beer and wine. I think that's a good way to go.

Answer 18

You're going to get a lot of differing opinions on this...

I personally think either stick with JUST the beer and wine or have a full open bar--not in between.  You mention that your MIL's friend like to drink and that your crowd would drink you into debt, however, most places that offer an open bar option do so by having an additive fee to the cost per plate--in most cases it's an extra $10 per person to have a full open bar and that's it.  Since there are people who drink, I think it would be worth it and you would get your money's worth with that added expense.

However, doing half and half IS tacky and if you really truly can't afford to do a full open bar then don't push the issue and overthink this.  Keep it at just wine and beer.

Answer 19

I think it will be fine to have it displayed for purchase by the guest.  It is a good option for those who don't drink beer or wine.  If guests don't have cash or don't want to have to purchase then they can drink what is included.