Casual s*x with the ex?

Question

I recently split up with my bf, we weren't dating for that long but have known each other for years, and recently got back in contact. Because of his 'issues' we can't be together at the moment...however, i am very tempted to suggest the idea of just having casual s*x with him. Would this be a bad idea if a) I want him back in the future and b) for my self-esteem?

Many thanks :)

Answer 1

have a star. and email me sometime

Answer 2

dont dont dont!!

seriously, you have no idea what sort of stuff you would get yourself into.

i could give you 100 reasons to not do it, but i cant be bothered so i'll just stress to you how bad things could get if you did this.

Answer 3

If you want him back in the future and for your self-esteem?

No, very bad idea if that's the case.

Two reasons:

1. When you say casual s*x, men think casual s*x. He WILL NOT grow attached to you, and any chance that he *might* have become emotionally attached goes out the window the second you suggest casual s*x (he'll avoid emotional attachment on purpose.. tis how we think). You'll essentially ruin any and all chances of ever being with him.

2. It will be horrible for your self-esteem to see him never show any affection, mention other women because he only thinks of you as a friend, never make any time for you or have any discussion that goes far from the topic of s*x, etc.. In other words, casual s*x partners = taken for granted and not appreciated whatsoever besides for what is between their legs. Never mind how you'll feel as you start to realize #1.

Answer 4

I wouldnt do this if i was you as casual s*x with someone you have previous history with doesnt usually work out and especially as it is quite evident that there are still strong feelings there. I think that you could end up getting really hurt, so if i was you i would just concentrate on being friends with him at the moment and see if you get back together or what develops.

The only way I think casual s*x can work is if both people fully agree that it will not turn into anything afterwards and that there is no likelihood that feelings will develop!

Although it is often quite tempting to have this kind of relationship when you have had such great s*x!!!!!

be strong and resist the temptation!

good luck x*x

Answer 5

Oh really dont be silly.  

Answer 6

Self esteem, phooey.

Just go ahead and have some fun, it's better than being alone.

Answer 7

Only you can make that decision, I feel that it would not be in your best interest long term. Go with what makes you happy.

Answer 8

i wouldn't if u have feelings 4 him bcoz u will always wont more than just s*x! think about how u feel first and how u would feel if he said yes to havin s*x with you and than later on not wanting anymore.

Answer 9

I wouldn't risk it really. You could end up hurt and you don't want that. There are so many men out there, but don't go back to your ex as you could raise feelings

Answer 10

VERY bad idea. If he thinks he can have your company and s*x with you, and yet have no commitment...he will JUMP at the chance. What issues does he have? Is he with someone else? Or is he saying he's not in the right mental space for a relationship...becaus with either scenario I am afraid you don't have a chance of getting him back....if he wants you he'll come for you....ALL men do....they don't need persueding with s*x...if they want a relationship THEY COME LOOKING for one. End of story. I know...I've been there....

Answer 11

dont ever ever do it

ive been there with 2 ex's

they end up using you for s*x and they just drop you all the time

it will make your self esteem so bad

coz they dont want to be back with you they just know your an easy shag coz you still like them

please dont do it

he is your ex leave him in the past or you will get really really hurt

Answer 12

You do this and you will lose any respect he may have had for you...

Ring Ring....

Ring Ring....

Hello? Oh its for you... Its your Booty Call

Answer 13

If he doesn't take you back in the future, but agrees to the casual s*x, then I believe the consequences will be hard felt by you.  It will devastate your self esteem, and it might even leave you feeling like a failure because you weren't able to 'fix' him.  You are not able to change anyone, so do not make the mistake in thinking that you can. If he wants to make changes in his life, it has to be because he wants to, not because he needs to.  I do hope you take all the time you need to think about this.  You can still be his friend, and talk to him about his issues.  You might be able to offer advise, and listen to him.  Good luck to you dear, Jen

Answer 14

wish i had!

Answer 15

i reacon its an awsome idea, unless he is having s*x with another girl at the same time, if there is no one else in your life or his go for it!

can you answer mine thanks

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 16

Don't go through the casual s*x routine. It will all end in tears. You will fall in love with him and be heartbroken when he finds someone else and thanks you for the good time. Or vice versa. Wait and see if you are going to get back with him and if not, leave it at that.

Answer 17

Instead of casual s*x maybe you could just try being friends with him and staying in touch because you don't want him to view you as just a booty call especially if you want to be with him in the future. Why would he ever want to be your BF again if he's already getting s*x from you with no kind of commitment involved? If you really like him just wait till he sorts out his "issues" before  pursuing any type of relationship with him.

Answer 18

BAD IDEA. It gets extremely complicated.

I've tried this.... s*x can make you become too attached and can make you reallllllllly want him. You may think you can do it, but.... those chances are slim.

I've tried this.... complications, complications, COMPLICATIONS!

It's just not a great situation to be in.

- It can make you want to be with him.

- He will start using you.

- If you want to be respected, that's not a great way.

- If he is with someone else, that's all bad.

- If that's the only interaction you have.... not good.

- All bad.

Answer 19

Bad idea honey if he knows he has personal issues to sort out and does  not want a relationship  just now,then just do what he asks just offer support hard but right choice to make.

Answer 20

ew no are you a casual hoe-bag?

Answer 21

Its a BAD BAD idea.  Be friends but not with benefits, the only person who will get hurt is YOU, he will take s*x for what it is, you will read more into that he wants it will end badly and you will end up very very hurt.

Have more pride in yourself, win him back with out s*x.

Answer 22

It may be tempting, but do yourself a favor and don't do it.  If you want to be with him in the future, it will diminish the depth of your relationship.  He will see you in a different light whether he wants to or not.  You will basically be killing any chance of a real future.  It he really cares for you, it won't take long for you to be together.  The time isn't right now.  Just be patient.

Answer 23

Definitely not. Casual s*x is very rarely just casual, especially if you are the one who might get hurt by it. Sounds like you need to keep your distance and find someone who's going to treat you properly.

Answer 24

He is your ex for a reason!  Are you willing to overlook all that and jump back in bed?  Something only you can answer.  xox  

Answer 25

Casual s*x would be bad for your self-esteem as s*x for s*x sake is lowering your worth.

I your Ex thought that you had s*x with him to keep him interested. He will want more and more without commitment and you lose both ways

Answer 26

Well it depends. I was ina similar situation a few years ago. I'd been with my boyfriend for about two years but we had issues because I was going off to university and he had a problem with it. We split up over it anyway but whenever I came home and went out and got drunk, I'd wake up in his bed! He did want more but I was wary it wouldn't work out so I was happy to keep things casual. However, it was a problem when I started seeing other people. I cheated on two boyfriends with my ex. So we both made a decision that this had to stop. Although it was fun and quite comforting to have someone to go home with at the end of a night out, it was preventing us from moving on. So we cut all ties and stopped speaking to each other. It was a very difficult few months but it made us realise how we felt about each other. We thought about each other every day. So we got back together. That was 6 years ago and we're getting married next year so i guess you could say it worked out for me!! But it doesn't mean it will for you!! First off, it will prevent you moving on if things don't work out. You are leaving yourself open for being used by your boyfriend. He may use it as an opportunity to live the single life (as I did) knowing there is a warm bed to go to at the end of the night if you want. And that's not a good way to be! You could really end up feeling used and this would be very bad for your self esteem. My suggestion to you would be to distance yourself from him and to allow him to see what he's missing. its your decision though. As you cna see, I am probably an exception to the rule that s*x with the ex is a bad idea. Just do what you think is right.

Answer 27

Girl are you serious! Please dont even think about having casual s*x with him because in the end you will be HURT because the are feelings that are involved when people have s*x and its not easy to ignore them,just dont do it because it will leave you miserable

Answer 28

if hes your ex and you cant be with him why the h**l would you want to make yourself look like an easy lay.i would say its a very bad idea.hes your ex for a reason :-)

Answer 29

Be his friend until he works out his issues, intimate relations with him at this time may hinder his progress in working through the issues he has....

Answer 30

Just do it! :]