Catholic families, would it concern you if your son married a non-Catholic?

Question

I've been with my Catholic boyfriend for almost 3 years now, and we've been talking about getting married. However I'm pretty concerned what his family will think if we had a "non-denomination" sort of wedding ceremony. We we're thinking of a garden wedding, something neutral, with an officiant marrying us. I am an Agnostic btw...My boyfriend's family are practicing Catholics. Pretty much all his relatives married in a church.

Answer 1

I know a firm atheist who just got married in a church to a practicing RC last weekend. The liturgy was very accommodating. The family would probably object to a marriage which was not recognized by the Catholic church, but if your boyfriend doesn't care then that's their problem, not yours. Neither of you gets to dictate the wedding, you have to compromise.  

Answer 2

It's hard to say.  It wouldn't bother me if my son married outside of the church.  Personally, I would love a garden wedding.

But some Catholics are very firm with their beliefs.  Talk with them about it.

The only thing that could be a problem is the religion of any children you may have.  Even Catholic's who have lost their way are firm believers of their offspring being Catholic.

Good Luck.

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Answer 3

Well first off, you shouldnt let anyone tell you where or how to get married...its your wedding not thiers...but also...I am catholic and if I married someone who wasnt catholic then I think it would be a problem for me personally. It has so much to do with my life it would just be a headache..but then again, if you love someone, it doesnt matter who they are.

Answer 4

Many of them would not attend and would not believe you are married at all.  

Answer 5

Dear Farina- this is YOUR DAY, do NOT let others dictate their religious beliefs (cults) on you & your husband to be.

Answer 6

Family shouldn't care. Both my parents & my grandparents entered into similar arrangements. If the parents are really concerned, there's always the option of having a Catholic wedding and another ceremony (what happened to my grandmother).

Answer 7

Some people are so consumed by exclusionary religious beliefs that it will indeed upset them. You and your boyfriend need to have a strong front to stand up to the family. It all depends on what kind of people they are whether they will turn this into a problem. I hope they do not since it is so silly to believe that everyone has to be the same. I know of many people who attend the Catholic church but are not christian and I know of  many agnostics who are excellent 'christians' ( if by that definition you mean good caring loving persons)

Answer 8

No, not at all. Her religion shouldn't matter in the slightest, as long as they were right for each other, religion doesn't need to come first.  

Answer 9

How does your boyfriend feel about this?  Is it important to him to have a valid Catholic wedding?  These are questions you need to ask him.  If this is important to him there are specific steps you and he will need to take.

1.  He needs to be registered in his parish for at least 6 months.  

2.  You will need to go through some type of pre-marital counseling.  This is very beneficial and covers many topics that couples often don't discuss.  

3.  If he's okay with not getting married in a Catholic Church he can apply for a marriage to be performed by another type of minister.  It will still need to be in a Church.  The garden or a beach don't count.  

Answer 10

The truth is yes. I know his faith is important to him and know he would want to have his future children raised Catholic.

However, in your case, this is wholly dependent upon what your bf sees in his own future, the future of his marriage, and of any future children you two might have. If you two get married anywhere else than a Catholic church, he's not seen as being married in his faith.

Perhaps encourage him to go talk to his parish priest, and the two of you definitely need some premarital counselling.

Wish you luck!

Answer 11

Convinced your bf to convert in your religion,But if he is devouted on his religion,you can be two married in the state,like in the mayor or attorney,both of you if strong love religion is not the hindrance of your plan to live together forever.Explained to your parents to respect each beliefs.someday when you have children dont force them instead let them feel comfortable and freedom to choose where they want to be.Let both of you the love is the foundation of  relationship.

Answer 12

To be honest, yes, I'd be a bit concerned -- but not to the point of making a scene about it, or snubbing his fiance because she's not Catholic.   I might speak with him privately about the implications of not having a sacramental marriage, but not with the intention of talking him out of it.  (Such attempts are rarely successful, anyway, if an adult child has made up his mind to do something.)  It would be up to me to be gracious and welcoming to his bride, and take up any further concerns in prayer.

One thing you may encounter is that some of his family members, depending on how orthodox (small "o") they are, might decline to attend the wedding ceremony.  Try not to take it as a statement about you, personally; it's not meant to be.  There are some Catholics who feel very strongly about it, but the fact is (and they may not be aware of this) that under certain circumstances marriages outside the Church are considered valid.

If your boyfriend desires to continue receiving Holy Communion and other sacraments, he really should check with his priest beforehand about obtaining permission from the Bishop to enter into a "mixed" marriage, or the process of convalidation of the marrage after the fact.