Caught my 16 year old son looking at p**n what should I do?

Question

I was going down staris i don't think he heard me and i saw him masturbating to p**n i have no idea what to do obviously hes embarrassed any help would be nice.....

Answer 1

well he's 16 and its normal for youngs boys because surely they get curious. Don't get to mad at him but just give him a talk.

i mean i'm 14 and some of my guy friends definitly did that too. i'm not saying its good but with the society nowadays, you'll have to expect your son to do it sooner or later.

Answer 2

It's completely normal for a 16 year old to be curious like that...just don't make him feel too insecure about talking to you because then he won't...I think for now you need to give him a day or so too wear off from the embarrassment and just be happy he's doing it at home.

Answer 3

that's a tough one.

1)  I'd just pretend it didn't happened

AND

2)  be sure to make my presence known next time I went downstairs

16 Is a tough age.  As long as he's not rude and you don't think he's using drugs just try let him be a teenager and be there for him as needed but to much freedom can be dangerous

Answer 4

It is only natural, and masturbating to p**n is better than him going out and having s*x with a girl.

Think back to when you were his age....you never took any of your fathers penthouse or playboys.

I don't think you should worry to much about it. I definitely wouldn't say anything to him, because it would embarrass him.

Answer 5

It's normal, but I would be concerned about what kind of p**n he's looking at.  Is it violent?  Does it involve really young girls?  Is it fetish p**n?  I think you should have a talk with him and explain that what he was doing is normal, however, he may want to be more careful about privacy.  If you could so easily discover him doing this then so could any other member of the family.

Answer 6

well since he already knows you know talk to him and let him know that he's not in trouble and that it is a perfectly natural thing. you can give the whole hormone and body change talk but i would just let him know that it is a perfectly fine private thing

Answer 7

I would suggest to him that having masturbation to p**n will destroy something good in his future marriage relationship.  p**n makes a boy less committed to a woman and more likely to be a delinquent dad who does not care for his own children.  Why - because a real relationship with a woman is much harder to maintain than a p**n relationship but a far better one to live in than the mere fantacy which p**n is.  Tell him he must choose now which world he will live in - fantacy or reality.  Fantacy seems exciting for now but it is a cheap thief of real relationships.  God will help you..

Answer 8

It IS normal but you need to explain to him that p**n isn't real. They're just acting and s*x isn't like that in real life (well okay we can debate that but...). These pornographic films are about pleasing the man - the scene ends when the man is done, etc. So please help this next generation of men - tell them it isn't real!!

Answer 9

w/e u do, do not ignore it or want to talk about it. will make things worse. if it were my mom to walk in, id want her to make a lil joke or something, then just drop it forever. little tiny joke will be fine. nothing to completely embarrass him

Answer 10

oh my, well that sure is an awkward topic between you and your 16 year old. But you have to sit him down, and tell him your feelings on it. Don't be afraid to tell him thats not appropriate. Tell him that he should wait until he's married to do things like that but when he's married he will have a partner to help him out :]

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 11

It is normal for a 16 year old boy to have sexual urges. The most important thing is that you have an open relationship with your son and talk about s*x and other aspects of being a teenager. Obviously he is embarrassed but it is important that you are able to discuss these things with your son.

Answer 12

Hmmm. Yes, that can be embarrassing.  Be very careful that he does not feel humiliated when you speak with him.  You might want to visit:

http://www.parents.com/teens-tweens/heal...

You really have two issues to discuss with your son.  The first concerns masturbating.  Be sure you know what your own feelings are about the subject.  The second issue is the use of p**n.  Firstly, I do not think that should be condoned as it conveys the wrong messages about intimacy.  It can become addictive and harmful over time.  Good luck- it's not an easy task for you but if you approach the issues with respect, sensitivity and love you will succeed

Answer 13

I caught my son as well. I told him to be more careful about where he did it. Just so his mother or sister did not walk up on him. I keep my p**n hidden, so that may help. However, I explained to him that it is ok. I did it when I was a teenager and still do. So it is just a natural fact we please ourselves sometimes.

Answer 14

Well i don't think you should just avoid it;

If you haven't talked to him about s*x that would be a good time. Unless you don't feel comfortable to do it yourself. But it isn't a bad thing to do. Masturbation actually has been known to keep the prostate healthy. Not that your 16 year old son should have to worry about that now, but its just a thought.

Answer 15

Aye, don't say anything! I am sure it will be horribly, traumitizing to know your father walked in on you doing...that. Atleast you didn't catch him in bed with a girl, nothing too harmful.

Unless..FBI shows up at your house with charges on downloading 'Big booty 3000' illegally.

: p

Answer 16

Beating his bologna is not healthy, but as long as he was getting aroused by straight p**n and not the g*y, barnyard, or kiddie stuff, be a little relieved.

Teach him to respect himself enough not to cave into momentary gratification and develop a healthy respect for s*x rather than seeing it as a quick pick-me-up when he's bored or horny.

Answer 17

its normal all guys do it, your son has probably been doing it for a few years now.  if i were you i would tell him that its normal and that he isnt the first one to be caught in the act.  also, buy some lysol wipes and put them by the computer if its a family computer.

Answer 18

explain to him that you know he is a growing, maturing, curious teen & you were once that way. that you are not upset with him. that happened to my twin brother, well we are now 18. but at about 16 my mom found out he was becoming interested in all of that, like any young teen is, & she subscribed him to playboy & just encouraged him to be safe if he was sexually active.

basically as a father you should put a pack of condoms on his bed & tell him to stay safe & that you are open to talk if he has any questions..

Answer 19

I'm not a fan of p**n at all but I just deal with the fact that men work that way and my son will too when he's older. It must be uncomfortable for you but it's not inappropriate behaviour for a 16 year old.

Answer 20

ya it's going to happen no controlling it especially with how easy it is to get it online now...

you could put a filter or spy software on your computer or some nanny filter to filter out the sites but if he is computer savvy at all he can bypass them

but ya sorry don't know what to tell ya

Answer 21

That it's not right at all!!!

My advice would be to:

1-) Take him out to a book store and buy him a good book to read, something that will create possitive thinking in his mind.

2-) Watch who his "friends" are.

3-) Pretend you never saw that and tell him that you love him and tell him: Son, we are living in a world where everybody wants to do what others are doing; Although, we don't have to be part of the mayority, but of the minority.

4- Many are called, but few are chosen.

Good luck!

Answer 22

Be glad that he is normal.  If he knows you saw him then just bring it up and say you felt terrible intruding on his privacy but not for him to feel bad as it is very normal and shows he is developing a normal interest in s*x.  Hope he is involved in sports and stuff and not spending too much time on the computer.  Encourage him to have outside interests so he doesn't spend too much time on those web-sites.  Hope he isn't downloading stuff that will cost you money.

Answer 23

It's normal and the worst thing to do would be to scold him.  Have a chat with him about s*x - safe s*x and responsible choices, types of s*x, emotions involved with s*x, and realistic s*x verses p**n.  He'll probably be embarrassed, but it's necessary and you'll both rest easy knowing he has the tools to make educated choices.  I know a lot of parents leave s*x ed to the schools (my parents did) and believe you me, they aren't nearly as thorough as they need to be.  There are a lot of questions that go unanswered and a lot of information that is never discussed.

Answer 24

Everyone has a different perspective, and your decision will be based on how seriously you look at this yourself.  Some will say "normal"--just like some say drinking is "normal"--but in both cases there are those who become addicted and it ruins their lives.  s*x addiction has been a hard reality in my marriage, so that's the perspective I'm coming from.  I think you need to talk with your son about the desire for s*x and about valuing women.  Pornography devalues women and doesn't actually bring satisfaction to men--thus the addiction & need for bigger and better excitement.  Those who end up using prostitutes or abusing women usually began with p**n.  Being a parent is not easy and turning the other way when something is difficult doesn't help your son.  A web filter may help somewhat, but it's not the ultimate answer.  It's a more pervasive problem than that.  Don't let embarrassment stop you from being a parent and a guide to someone who's not grown up yet (although he probably thinks he is).  Without being accusatory or putting him down, try talking with him to find out how deep he is into p**n, and help him see it for what it is.  Let him know you understand and are there to help.  Best of luck.

Answer 25

its normal you should be glad hes doing that and not trying on dresses like some teenage boys do then you really got some things to consider. i would say 90 percent of the world has or still watches it,, but it gets a little weird as they get older though

Answer 26

whoa. that's really weird and embarassing for you both..

i think that you need to talk to him about s*x asap. give him "the s*x talk" from your point of view or what you feel is right..

many people watch p**n --young and old, males and females.. and they all watch it for different reasons.. find out ur sons reason[s] and from there give him advice..  u dont want him to be a s*x addict [o m g]

tell him that jacking off, masturbating w/e is mad pittiful and pathetic.. im sorry but it is.. it's for guys who cant get girls/s*x and he shouldnt want to be one of those guys.. plus i heard u can go blind masturbating all the time but idk

p**n.. ?.. hm... people watch p**n for [some] the following reasons:

1. they're lonely, cant get none and/or a girl

2. to learn more about s*x, positions/moves, toys/costumes etc

3. they're bored, horny and/or weird

4. they want to get in the mood

5. they may find p**n interesting to watch bc it's a movie that is filled with s*x

Answer 27

Just do not over react to it. It is natural. I mean, weren't you 16 once. I am not trying to sound freakish, but they will explore. You probably want to talk to him and let him know he has nothing to worry about. But let him come to you, don't force him to talk to you.

Answer 28

You should talk to him about it, and try to relate to him. He might not want to talk about it since hes a sixteen year old kid who just got caught looking at p**n, but if it isnt talked about than things might be really weird for a while. But things will be weird either way. But I think it might be best for you to let him know he shouldnt have to be embarrassed, tell him its normal, and all that. Hope this helped some what.

_chelsea_

Answer 29

Be happy he's a normal 16 year old. Most guys watch p**n, especially around his age. Just try looking at the sites he's been to and try to make sure he doesn't look at violent p**n or anything like that because that can cause a lot of psychological damage.

Answer 30

I dont know if you are Christian but Jesus said that looking at women lustfully is committing adultery in your heart. (Something like that). I would tell him that today's society says it is normal. But that does not make it good or healthy for his soul and spirit. It is also very addicting and can cause him problems in future relationships. It causes him to look at women as s*x objects.  Tell him that those feelings and emotions should be preserved for a woman he truly loves. In the mean time I would move the computer to a public spot in the house where he can not hide the screen from you.