Celebrating a first birthday of twins:one has passed.?

Question

i have a first birthday party in 25 days. I am so excited that my little one is turning one, but this is also a grim time for me, his twin passed at birth. I want to have something at the cemetery such as releasing balloons or something of that sort, before the birthday party. Any advice?? Nice and serious responses only please...this is hard enough as it is.

Anyone with experience in this area, you advice would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

Nobody understands what it's like to lose a child unless it's happened to them.  Ignore people who try to tell you not to honor your baby who has passed on, as they don't have a clue.  By all means, do something in honor of your baby.

My husband and I had a balloon release for the baby we lost, and it's become a tradition for us.  I also know someone who had twins, one of whom died shortly after birth.  Every year on their birthday, she has a special cupcake in honor of the baby who passed away for her surviving son to eat.  Find something that has special meaning to you.  Good luck and congratulations.  

Answer 2

8 yrs ago on 9-3-00 i lost my first daughter, on 9-5-03 i had triplets and on 9-1-05 i had a little girl i'm only telling you this because my daughters birthday was and is special to me (9/3) but i can't show my other kids who's b-days are so near that day that i'm feeling down because they don't know why and probably wouldn't understand because they only know it to be their b-day i 'm so sorry for your loss and releasing balloons is what i did before and i also got her name tattooed on me  

Answer 3

How about a butterfly release? 12 of them- one for each moth you've missed him and one for each month you've spent with your son that lived. It's meaningful and good for the environment too as there won't be any balloons popping and falling to the ground.

I am sorry that this day will be bittersweet for you, but try to enjoy it as much as you can.  

Answer 4

Aw thats so sad Hun ..i am sorry for your loss

What about planting a tree in your garden, or saying something at the party ..I hope the party goes well xx

Answer 5

I had a friend who had twins that one had passed and they release balloons with a message from each family member inside the balloon.

Since their other children are younger they do it at a place like the park or in their backyard, so it is a little easier on the younger ones.

I am really sorry for your loss.

Answer 6

First off, I am so sorry for your loss.  However, your son that you have enjoyed spending time with for the last 12 months needs you more than ever.  He will be feeling the loss as well.  Why not have HIM release a balloon for his departed sibling to signify the loss of one and the blessed life of the other?  It's something that your family can turn into tradition each year on their birthday.  It gives your son a way to stay connected to his twin and gives you a way to lessen your loss.  Be thankful for the one you DO have and don't take away from him.  Once again, I'm very sorry for your loss.  I hope your little one has a great birthday!!  

Answer 7

i'm sorry about the baby. i think you should just celebrate the living twin's birthday. it's a blessing that he's alive. the child that passed has passed on. the birthdate is not supposed to be celebrated everyyear on your living childs birthday, that's just too morbid. you should set aside another day for the cemetary like the day he passed away instead

Answer 8

I think the butterfly release is beautiful. I think it is nice that you want something to do something in honour of the child you lost but may I suggest you don't do it every year? I know it is sad and you will miss them. It's understandable. But, speaking from experience, your son may not want to celebrate his twin's death every year on his birthday. I had an older brother who was my parents' favourite. On my 5th birthday, he got into a car accident and was killed. Every year now, my parents' mourn his death on my birthday. I love my brother but I have to say it really makes the day hard and barely worth celebrating. Even I can't help but cry every year on this day because the memory is so strong. I think for the first birthday, the butterfly idea is lovely because your son might find it interesting especially if they are pretty colours. Maybe you could light a candle on his 16th, 18th and/or 21st birthday(s) in honour of his twin as these are important. I'm sorry for your loss.

Add: Just to say, I am not trying to be inconsiderate. I, too, have lost a child and I know it is so hard. But I just thought I'd give a little experience. We celebrate my little girl's passing with a family meal and a toast to her life. Toasting life is so much easier to do than toasting death. Always remember your baby was alive and that is a gift worth treasuring.

Answer 9

no experience w/ twins sorry but my sis lost  a girl and for her bday we all wrote msg in a baloon and released them also lit pink candles and had a cae with "wish you were here" written on it. it was a beautiful day

Answer 10

yea butterfly thats lovely idea