Challenging negative comments with children?

Question

Challenging negative comments with children?

Answer 1

IDK

Answer 2

Heavy manners! But seriously...are you asking how to deal with what comes out of your bairns' gob? Sit him/her down as ask why it was uttered...what was their purpose - who were they trying to impress etc? Or are you asking about the concept thereof - what it creates (behavour-wise in later years), and how to 'nip it in the bud' now...without extreme retribution? There doesn't seem to be a great deal adults can do nowadays, when bairns are with each other...for whatver you suggest at home, he/she will want to be part of whatever 'gang' when back at school. it was bad enough being a kid in his/her wee years thirty or so years ago, but looks like parents have to work thrice as hard today.

  However...if the answer falls way below your expectations, sorry!

Answer 3

What exactly are you asking?

Answer 4

well the question is a bit vague but depending on the comment it is sometimes best to just ignore it, if the child knows they are going to get a reaction then they could just say it in the future when they want attention

Answer 5

I assume you're talking about preschool children. First of all, they are unlikely to actually understand the concept and are probably just repeating what they've heard or copying older children, or simply stating the truth as they see it eg. he's fat, she's ugly. It's hard to challenge a child when they are just saying what they think, without meaning to hurt anyone.

I would use an empathy doll or persona doll to open up a discussion and help them to see how their comments affect others. It's essential that children begin to understand their own feelings and then begin to be able to understand how others feel.  

But it's always worth explaining very sensitively to children that it's unkind to say things which might upset someone, without being cross with them, and helping them to understand that it's much nicer to be nice, and that they wouldn't like it if someone said something about them.

But until they have developed empathy for others, they won't have any awareness of how the person the negative comments are aimed at feels, so will be quite confused.

Hope this helps.

Answer 6

It is important when challenging the child that you ensure you are calm and matter of fact. Explain that the comment was hurtful and why ( Child says ' you are fat' ) You challenge by saying that was not kind you have hurt her/his feelings and they now feel sad. Relate a story of how the perpatrator has been hurt in the past and how sad they felt. Never make a child apologise if they are unwilling as this is teaching them to lie. Just ask them to think about their actions/words and encourage them to be more thoughtful towards their peers.

Answer 7

Are the negative comments coming from the children?  At a preschool age?  Well they have definitely heard that somewhere - are you the caregiver or the mom?  If you are the caregiver, I would definitely mention it to the parent that you are concerned with ____'s negative talk about herself.  If you are the mom, then you need to watch what you say when you look in a mirror.  "Oh I hate my hair today - or this outfit makes me look so fat" - to allow your child to grow up with a healthy body image.  I don't know if I am understanding this question so I guess I don't know if I helped or not!

Answer 8

I heard the coolest thing on a radio broadcast once on this very subject.  It is an object lesson called "Hold your Tongue"

so what happens is you get a cow tongue from the butcher and keep it until that time when your child has said something unkind.  Hopefully before that happens you will sit down with your child and talk about how we are not to speak unkindly toward others and we need to be mindful of others feelings.  How we are to hold our tongue if we cannot be nice.  Then if they stick to that great!  However, if that moment does come you simply sit them down and tell them since they could not follow the rules in being nice (whatever you said) then they have to hold this cow tongue!  

Now, I have not tried this yet, have not had to but I passed this on to a friend and they tried it!  That child has not said a mean thing/cussed since!  I just thought that it was so clever so I had to share.  This will have to be done with supervision and you will want to wash their hands thoroughly.. you could decide how you would want to do it and how long then set the timer.

Answer 9

Explain the rule of thumb "do unto others, as you wish to be done to you"

Ask "how does it make you feel when somene says something mean to you -you're ugly?! .. it makes you sad right, angry even... so don't say those words to others ..etc

One time I had my daughter at a babysitters house.. they all spoke Spanish.. I'm also fluent in Spanish..

One of the 4 y/o twins told my 3 y/o "tu mama es fea!" (your mom is ugly!) and my daughter told me she just cried & didn't defend herself.

And when I'd get there to pick her up the girl twins would STARE me UP AND DOWN and roll their pre-school eyes at me and flip their hair!  OMG!  

finally one day when the sitter got on my last nerve .. she was complainging that my daughter never defended herself.. if a kid hit her she'd just cry in a corner.. but not hit back  HELLO SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO AND HELLO THE SITER WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE SURE SHE WASN'T GETTING BULLIED.... anyways.. my point.. I brought up how her kids aren't perfect and how I hear them talking smack about me.. (which I had many times) and she was "shocked"

I swear some parents are idiots!!!

She claimed to not understand what she was saying cause she was saying it in English.. WHAT-EV!!!

I'm sure to tell my daughter that we're all pretty in our own ways & God makes no mistakes!!

Answer 10

1) Have a visual rule board-one rule can be "we speak politely to other people" or "We talk quietly indoors"...saying the positive rather than what you DONT want!

2) Sometimes ignoring works-eg: if child is saying something negative to get attention then not giving them the attention until after they've stopped, or until they have done something positive.

3) Explaining to them in appropriate language why what they said was wrong eg: "Saying that word makes people feel sad". Then maybe suggest other words or actions if appropriate.

4) Read stories and discuss the emotions and the empathy behind the themes eg: A story about a child's first day at preschool...how would they feel?

5) Group activities such as small group lotto, large floor puzzles etc to begin learning about positive social interactions.

Answer 11

I dont understand the question