Change first name when adopted?

Question

Do you think it is right for adoptive parents to change the first names of children they adopt. I know someone who adopted a family of kids and they are changing the first names of each child it they want to...

Answer 1

If the children are older, then I think they should definetly have a say in whether they change their name or not, and if so, what it's changed to.

   We adopted both of our sons at 6 months old from Korea. After talking to several adult adoptees from Korea we decided to give them "American sounding" first names, and kept their Korean first and middle names as their new middle name. I think it's a good idea to allow children to keep at least some part of the child's original name if possible, unless ofcourse they are older and choose to completly change it.

   We will also have no problem if our children choose to go by their middle (original) names when they are older.

Answer 2

If the child is a baby the parents can name it, after all if the child is a bit older than think it is better to leave the name alone.

Answer 3

Yes, I think that it is o-k for a parent to change the name of a child once they are adopted.  It's very common in Florida. Adoptive parents do it all the time.  They feel like it a new begining for the child and that that will have something that is a peice of the adopteive family.

Answer 4

If a child already has a name why would you change it

My mother named me and my adoptive parents kept that name - I am so happy they did.

Answer 5

depends how old they are...6 months or under, maybe, but i wouldnt change the name unless it was something i truely hated..

Answer 6

I changed my son's name. But he was very young. I think it depends on the age of the child. If the child is old enough to understand - the child may enjoy helping pick out his or her new name!

Answer 7

It's my experience...it depends on the age of the child.  My nephew was adopted (while he was quite a bit older) and the Judge asked him if he wanted to...He wanted to change it to s****. Doo!  ha!  He didn't, but decided to change his middle name to match his "new" daddy.  They left it totally up to him as he "knew" his name already.

The children that we are adopting...the older one we won't unless he wants to, the baby...more than likely we will!

Answer 8

I have not met an adoptive parent who hasn't changed their child's name.  The only children whose names weren't changed were adopted straight from the surrogate mom.  The other children were from other countries.  The parents changed to a different form of the child's first name but kept their middle name the same. Mostly to make it easier for them to fit in and easier for teachers to get their name right.  I know that sounds like shallow reasoning.  I, personally, wouldn't change a child's first name, especially since -- if we end up adopting, it will be an older child.

Answer 9

I'm with PhilM.

Adoption is meant to be about the child.

NOT about the adoptive parent.

If the child already has a name - it is their name.

No matter the age.

Why would you want to change it?

Do you want to prove your control over the child from the beginning??

An adopted child comes from elsewhere - with a history all of his/her own.

To deny that history - is not honoring the child - and where the child came from.

It is in fact a LIE.

Adoption SHOULD BE ABOUT THE CHILD.

If the child wishes to change their name - their own choice - when they are older - so be it.

If a child's parents died - would you change the child's name - because it suited you better???

Have more respect for the child.

If the child already has a name - the name should be kept.

Answer 10

i hope not..because if there like 9 months and older then no because they already kno there name..and don't change it now i wouldn't that is not right..its wat they were named at birth leave it!

Answer 11

depends on the age, if a baby sure if ya wont to, but older child like 1 or 2 id leave it, it might confuse the child. it you get baby from another country and you cant pronounce it, maybe, but keep the name somewhere, so one day if you do decide to tell the child about this, they would know. you can also take someletters out of the babys original name and make you a cute little name. they would still keep there name  but in a different style,also if baby come out of a bad cituation, like abuse or something, yes i would change it for babys safety. but good luck

Answer 12

we have 5 children 1 I gave birth to and the other 4 are adopted. We adopted 1 child out of foster care, 1 as an infant and 2 internationally. We took our 2 internationally adopted daughter and and moved their first names to their middle names and gave them new first names. We kept my son's name (infant adopted) to honor his mother and gave him a new middle name, and the son that we adopted out of foster care was given the choice as to what he wanted to to. At first we wanted to change his entire name, but we came to an agreement and he kept the name his mother gave him as his middle name and he decided to adopt his new daddy's name as his first name. I think it all really depends on what is in the best interest of the child.

Answer 13

yes i do think that is fine. its their choice and they are the parents of the children. it would be ok and that is for them to do. it wont' change nothing. when the kids grow up they can find out for themselves what they want to do in life. generally you are given away fro reason so why keep the name given at birth. its good to strart out fresh.

Answer 14

I think the adopted parents have every right to change their kids names.  ESPECIALLY if they are young!  Whether or not you agree with it or not adoption paperwork says.... I don't have the wording in front of me but it is something like the children are yours as if they were born to you... and I would OF COURSE name my biological child something that means something to me and my family.

I agree with some other people that some of the names can be incorporated... taking middle name, changing spelling, etc.  

And I think it is funny that I feel strongly that adopted parents have the right to do it... and yet I am not changing my toddlers names.  Some previous foster parents actually called the girls different names that they liked better than their given names and those were the worst names I ever heard so it made their given names sound great to me!!!

So the hubby and I would like to change the girls middle names upon adopting. We will change both of their middle names to names that mean something to our family and that people can spell and pronounce.

Answer 15

I think that's utter c**p unless the name is absolutely horrendous by today's standards.

Answer 16

I was adopted as an infant and I really wish my name was not changed simply because it was my name, given to me at birth by my natural mother. It just seems wrong to me to change it. I hear a lot of excuses as to why adoptive parents change the name but to me they are just that, excuses for what the adoptive parents want. Of course the baby doesn't know any better at that time but just think how nice it would be to tell your child "we kept the name your mother gave you because it fit you, because we honor her decision, because we were lucky enough to raise you and didn't feel we had to change everything" instead of "we didn't like what she named you so we picked something new."

Answer 17

I disagree that adoption is "about the child".  That's hogwash.  Adoption is about the family.  Since the child is part of the family, of course the child's interests are vitally important.  However, what's in the best interest of the child is hard to determine.  If you adopt an infant, and you're going to raise that child, you have every right to give him a name you cheerish.  That baby is no longer his birth mother's in any way unless it is an open adoption.  However, if you are going to have an open adoption, it would probably be best to leave the name the same - you don't want to create animosity from the beginning.  

With an older child, I do not think it's right to change their name without their consent.  However, if I understand the question being asked, the children are being given a choice about whether or not to change their own names.  I think that is an excellent idea!  

Many "older children" being adopted are comming out of foster care and bad situations.  Taking a new name is a way of symbolizing that they're starting a new life.  It's also a way for the new parents to bond with the child.  No child should be forced into such a change, but if the child wants it - why not?  

A "parent" who abandons or abuses their child loses all right to the child.  Any adoptee from this type of situation who thinks they would have been "better off" with the "natural" parent is nuts - they just have a chip on their shoulder with life.  A name is something very special because it helps define who someone is....  and who they are is a child of the parents who loved them.

Answer 18

I guess the question is, who is the adoption for?  Is for the benefit of the child or for the adoptive parents?  

The adoptive parents may not "like" the name, but it's not supposed to be about them.  It's about the child.  And if the child already has a name, then it belongs to them.  Why should that be taken from them?

If adoption is really about the children, then as much of their identity needs to be left in tact as possible.  It's not about making the parents happy, but providing for the children.

Answer 19

I also think it depends on the age of the child if they are extremely young I think its ok. Or if they have a name that is really odd, doesn’t go with their new last name. I know sometimes people will have the Childs original first name become their middle name

Answer 20

I think that would depend on the age of the child, and if they're old enough to understand, whether the child was willing to do so.

Answer 21

I believe this depends on the situation, but it generally isn't a big deal.

With toddlers, say under 3, then they are only just learning their names and so the name change is easy.  We started calling our adopted 1 year old by his new name and he picked it up quickly.  Part of the reason for the name change is that we just didn't like his given name, it had a funny spelling and just wasn't a name we would choose.  We wanted to give him a name that was meaningful to us.

Older children might have a harder time with the change, but I still don't think it is a big change.  Our older adopted child was 3 when we got him, and we decided just to let him keep his given name.  We liked the name and didn't feel it was worth the trouble.  However, we had a friend who changed the names of her 4-5 years old adopted sons.  They started calling him by both names together at first, and then dropped the old name.  For example, if his old name was "Bob" and the new name is "Jason", they called him "Jason Bob" for several weeks, and eventually just "Jason".  It wasn't a big deal.

So, I guess my short answer is YES, it is okay.

Answer 22

Your opinion is your own. To ask whether it's "right" to change a child's name is unfair. Each family does what they think is best.

We changed our son's name when we brought him home with us. He was 2 and had been in foster care his entire life. He was called baby names (like pet names) by his foster family and didn't really know his given name. It was a silly name -- made up by the birth mother -- and it sounded girly. We weren't fond of it so we dropped some letters from it and changed it to a name we liked. My son is now 6 and I have told him about his birth name and he says he's glad we changed it. I know he's young, but right now that's his opinion and I'm glad!

Before our son was placed with us, we were selected to adopt a little girl who was 5 at the time. She had a "different" name but it was a real word/name and we ended up liking it. We initially thought about changing it because it was a little odd, but then decided that wasn't right because it was a pretty name, just not our usual taste. As it turned out, a distant birth family member surfaced and agreed to take the little girl, so we weren't able to adopt her.

Anyway, my point is that it is the individual family's decision and there is no "right" or "wrong" when it comes to naming. It's just an opinion.

Answer 23

It depends on quite a few factors. If you want to change a name from John to Daniel, then changing your child's name is ridiculous. Say for example, you adopted a child from another country and the name sounds like an offensive word in the US, if the child doesn't already know his or her name, then you can change it, but then, it should really be changed to another name from that country and culture.

I really don't approve of changing a child's name when you adopt them. It makes them seem like dogs or cats!